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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487330">Second Chances</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbytsukikage/pseuds/enbytsukikage'>enbytsukikage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Sweethearts, College, Gen, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Moving On, Mutual Pining, Punk Yamaguchi Tadashi, Second Chances, Soft Tsukishima Kei, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Tsukishima Kei Needs a Hug, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei-centric, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27487330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbytsukikage/pseuds/enbytsukikage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima looked at his shoes. He couldn't breathe. "I can't." He muttered. "I have a routine, and I've had one for the past two years." </p><p>"You can't just show up and expect me to change your routine just for you." </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded. He couldn't demand anything from Tsukki - not after what he did to him. But he had to try. </p><p>"Why don't you just add me to your routine then?" </p><p>OR </p><p>Yamaguchi broke Tsukishima's heart in high school. Years later, they meet again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minor or Background Relationship(s), Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi (past), Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>354</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Envelope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! This is the first chapter of my story 'routine'. I'm going to regularly updating this, and I really hope you all enjoy! Comments and feedback is appreciated. &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kei could still feel the adrenaline running through his veins. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could still hear the screams from their side of the bleachers, and the feeling of getting tackled to the ground by an excited Kyotani after their win. He can hear the remnants of the shrill whistle and feel the ghost of the ball on his fingertips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Sendai Frogs had just won a match against another one of the other second division groups, and even though it wasn’t anything more than a practice match on a Saturday, Kei was happy that he still had it in him, blocking and jumping and whatnot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took off his sweaty t-shirt, rolling his eyes when the coach made a comment about how he needed to gain some muscles as he made his way to the showers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let his shoulders relax under the hot water as he made a list of everything he has to get done tomorrow. Two assignments, buying cat food, groceries, returning a CD to the library, and maybe if he had time he’d watch that show he’d been meaning to start later. This Saturday evening match was probably the only amount of ‘free time’ he was getting for the week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he massaged the shampoo into his scalp, he could still feel the light tingle of the volleyball on his fingertips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kei’s shower ended too fast for his liking, if he were the manager of this gym he’d definitely install better water heaters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shivered when he felt the cold air on his skin, trying to dry himself at record speed, almost slipping on the floor as he does so - nobody notices. He puts on his jeans, and then his t -shirt, then dries his hair. He pulls on his sweater and shrugs on his green jacket, not bothering to zip it up - it isn’t that cold yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaves the gym almost last, he always does. He wears his normal shoes and checks his phone when he steps out of the now musty gym and into the cold streets of Tokyo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>7:39 pm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Six minutes earlier than he usually leaves. Kei will reach home a little after 8. He will heat up leftovers for dinner, and while he eats he will finish up his readings for that Monday class he isn’t looking forward to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ever since he came to Tokyo, Kei followed a routine, it made him calm, it kept him sane. The only time he broke this routine was for when Kageyama or Kuroo dropped by with their friends unexpectedly at his apartment. Sometimes they’d bring Hinata along - if he was in Tokyo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no other reason to step off his routine, and he was sure that giving himself that time to think would one day drive him insane. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His apartment was 5 songs away, 3 if he decided to listen to those long instrumental ones. He pushed one of the earbuds in his ear, and was about to shove his phone into his pocket when he heard the soft ghost of his name. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsukishima.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It came from behind him. A voice he could recognise anywhere. A voice he tried to spend the last two years trying to forget. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to run. He could pretend he couldn’t hear his name through his earphones. He knew that if he didn’t run, he would be ruining his routine for tonight, heck probably even the whole of next week. The last time he spoke to Yamaguchi, he didn't leave his room for a week, and god knows many sobs he choked down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But curiosity gets the better of him. He hasn’t seen Yamaguchi in two years now. He wanted to know whether he grew his hair out like he said he would, or if he got glasses. Maybe he had even grown taller than Kei. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he took a shallow breath and turned around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi had not grown taller than him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that was where the similarities seemed to end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hair was longer, it stopped at the base of his neck now, it was left open, but Kei was sure that he could tie into a tiny ponytail . He had gotten a few piercings Kei noticed, he could see a few spiky ones on his ear but he was sure that Yamaguchi had more. He was wearing makeup - eyeliner to be exact, and his clothes were black and green. His nails were painted a shiny black, he was holding an envelope. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi looked exactly how he claimed he would look when they were in their first year of high school and they both got into some punk bands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kei always thought he was exaggerating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yamaguchi…” He breathed out, not bothering to take a step closer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hearing his name, Yamaguchi blinked, his eyes still staring at Kei’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was he trying to soak in all the differences in his old best friend just as Kei did a second ago? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tsukishima…it’s been a while.” He smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The smile was strained, and the ‘Tsukishima’ seemed to formal all of a sudden. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kei wanted to run. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, he nodded. “Two years.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi’s fingers twitched around the envelope, even though his appearance changed, he was still just as scared. And nervous. Kei took a note of this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyways.” Yamaguchi cleared his throat, grinning at him. His smile felt too bright for the crowded streets of Tokyo. “I saw your game, you played well.” He took a step closer to Kei, testing the waters before diving in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kei didn’t move backwards. “Yeah.” He said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He decided to add a quick “thanks.” for good measure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamguchi clears his throat. “I’ll get to the point then, you seem busy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kei nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets, Yamaguchi didn’t need to see them shaking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daichi and Suga are having their engagement party next Saturday, they’re busy planning, so Noya san and I are giving out invites.” He held the envelope out to Kei. “It would be really great if you could come, I know you’re probably busy but it’s just one-“ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who all will be there?” Kei asked. They both were so obviously trying to ignore the real problem. The elephant in the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yamaguchi blinked. “Everyone from our school, their family, and some of their work friends too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kei tried to ask again. “Is anyone from the other schools coming?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I..uhm I think so, not everyone though, just the people who Suga and Daichi are close to.” He chuckled, but Kei could feel the tension under his words. Yamaguchi knew what Tsukishima wanted to know about, but he was trying his best to avoid that topic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kei wanted to scream at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t fair how Yamaguchi could just talk to him after two years of ignoring him and pretend that there was nothing wrong, pretend like what happened after their graduation ceremony didn’t drive Yamaguchi away from him. It wasn’t fair for Kei. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to tell Yamaguchi that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, he took the envelope and took a step back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll see if I have the time.” He said, already walking away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need to go now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Drinks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kei was mad at Yamaguchi though. </p><p>So mad that that anger was burning through him. </p><p>As if he had summoned him, he felt a soft hand on his back. Yamaguchi. </p><p>“What do you want.” He grumbled, turning around. Yamaguchi looked worried, a little scared too.</p><p>“Do you want to sit down? I could get you a gl-“ </p><p>Kei sneered. “I don’t need anything.” He grunted, trying to ignore the flash of hurt of Yamaguchi’s face when he pulled away. “Especially from you</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei looked into the mirror. </p><p>Yeah, he’d seen himself multiple times each day, but right now he really looked. The change in his appearance from high school was significant, although less obvious than Yamaguchi’s had been. His hair was just a tad bit longer, so that the curls actually curled up. He wore his glasses at home, but whenever he stepped outside, Kei always had his contact lenses on. They slightly uncomfortable, but he looked better with them on. </p><p>That was it. Maybe his skin had gotten just a little less pale, and he had grown just a little taller, but those were things that happened with time, nothing that he had much control over. </p><p>“Oi.” The voice behind him pulled him away from his thoughts. “You’re going to become like that greek guy…the one who was obsessed himself.” </p><p>Kei smirked and turned around. “His name was Narcissus.” He told Kageyama, who was lounging on his bed and absentmindedly flipping through one of Kei’s textbooks. “And get your dirty training shoes off my bed.” </p><p>Kageyama grunted and instead stood up and walked towards Kei’s closet, opening it and looking around with disapproval on his face. </p><p>“Suga really thought I’d bail, huh?” He asked, watching Kageyama take out clothes and throw them onto the bed. “So much so that they’d send you here to pick me up?” </p><p>Giving a grunt in response, kageyama threw a white shirt in his face. “You did have an ‘emergancy assignment’ the last time Daichi asked you if you wanted to come to a club reunion.” He argued, “Suga thought I was their best bet to convince you to come.” </p><p>Kei huffed and took off the shirt he was wearing in exchange of the one Kageyama gave him. “There’s a difference between an engagement party and a reunion you know.” He paused and made sure the buttons were done right before voicing out his doubts. “Yamaguchi’s joining to be there isn’t he? Is he going to bring-”</p><p>Kageyama cut him off effectively with aiming a tie right at his face. </p><p>“I’m pretty sure he is.” Kageyema shrugged. “But you can just ignore him, just like you ignored all those first years when we became third years.” </p><p>Kei stopped fixing his tie to look at his friend, who was back to sitting on the bed. Kageyama had already come dressed up, wearing a suit and tie instead of his usual workout clothes. “Did you just compare Yamaguchi to one of those annoying first years?” He teased, more amused than annoyed. </p><p>Kageyama turned red. “Shut up beanpole.” </p><p>———</p><p>They arrived to the party a little after 8, not too late, but not weirdly early either. The second they stepping into the hotel, Suga was all over Kei, gushing at how much he’d changed and how much he’d grown. Kei probably would’ve swatted at Suga’s hand, but it reminded him of how his parents would fuss over him when he was a child, so he let Suga play with his hair and fuss with his suit for a while longer. <br/>Daichi was a little less touchy, but that was only expected from him. </p><p>Ennoshita told everyone that Yamaguchi was a little held up in the traffic. </p><p>Forty five minutes into the party and Tsukishima was talking to Akaashi about how his journalism was going. Bokuto and Kuroo both had disappeared somewhere the second their conversation took a turn to the more academic side. </p><p>They both were back pretty soon though, each one holding two drinks in hand. </p><p>“Loosen up both of you.” Kuroo grinned, shoving the cold glass in Kei’s hands and clapping his back. “You two talk about studies whenever we meet, this isn’t what you talk about in a party.” He complained. </p><p>Akaashi rolled his eyes but took the drink from Bokuto nonetheless. </p><p>Ever since he had moved to Tokyo, Kuroo, Akaashi and Bokuto took him under their wings - helped him settle into his classes, find an apartment and even force him to look after himself when he overworked himself in finals week. </p><p>At first he pretended like he hated it, but after around ten months in Tokyo, he realised that the three weren’t too bad after all. Akaashi and him surprisingly have many common interests, and the older boy had a way of knowing exactly when to say what. Bokuto fell in where Akaashi fell short, being loud and energetic, ready to pull Kei out of a slump and force him into a better mood. It was hard to be upset when you had Bokuto in a 5 mile radius. </p><p>Kuroo was fun sometimes. </p><p>“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about the new car.” Bokuto whined, earning himself a soft groan from everyone else at the table. </p><p>Akaashi sighed and fixed his boyfriend’s tie again. “I couldn’t help it if was a surprise babe.” He tried explaining for the third time that night. “And it would’ve been a surprise of someone hadn’t told you.” He sent a glare to Kuroo, the man himself had taken a sudden interest in the carpet. </p><p>Akaashi should’ve known better than to trust Kuroo with a secret. </p><p>Kei snorted when Bokuto began to pepper Akaashi with kisses, talking about how lucky he was to have someone like him. Bokuto and Akaashi always made him sick to the stomach, the amount of love they gave each other also rubbed onto everyone around him, even Kei was beginning to feel a  little more tolerable of everyone at the party. </p><p>“Hey Tsukki.” Kuroo leaned forward, whispering in his ear. “Don’t look behind you, but freckles is finally here.” </p><p>Kei hitched in a breath. “Is..” The question died on his lips, but Kuroo nodded. </p><p>Kei turned around. </p><p>He heard Kuroo swear behind him, something about how this is exactly what he wasn’t supposed to do - but he couldn’t help it. He needed to see Yamaguchi, even if he knew looking at him would hurt. </p><p>He was there, giving Suga a nice gift wrapped in sparkly paper - the same kind of wrapping paper that Kei despised. He looked more put together than last time, wearing a black suit and a dark green tie that matched his hair perfectly. Unlike the last time they met though, Yamaguchi’s hair was neatly combed into a low ponytail that almost brushed his shoulders. He seemed less nervous too. He was smiling at something that Suga had said. </p><p>Kei was staring at his smile so hard that he almost didn’t see who was standing next to him. </p><p>Almost. </p><p>Terushima.</p><p>That name made Kei want to punch a wall, and the sad thing was that Terushima didn’t do anything wrong. Yamaguchi was the one he should be mad at if we wanted to direct his emotions anywhere. </p><p>Terushima must’ve gotten a little taller as well, and his hair was a slightly less mustardy shade of yellow. He was wearing a dark red suit and he was holding onto Yamaguchi’s waist, leaning onto him slightly as they grinned at something that Suga said. </p><p>They looked so happy together. So natural. So in sync. So in love. </p><p>Kei didn’t want to end up punching Terushima so he did the next best thing that came to mind. </p><p>He turned around and drunk all of Bokuto’s drink in one go. </p><p>“Woahh.” Bokuto said, grinning at Kei’s change in behaviour. “Someone’s decided to become the life of the party then, haven’t you?” He teased. </p><p>Kei nodded before pushing past them to get another drink. “You have no idea.” He murmured, loud enough for just his three friends to hear. </p><p>———</p><p>Two hours later, Kei had too many drinks to count, met eyes with Yamaguchi 5 times and hugged Daichi and Sugar goodbye. Tanaka made a comment about how leaving your own party first was weird, but helped everyone cleaning up nonetheless. </p><p>He wanted to go home, but sooner than he would’ve wanted, Kei could feel a hand on his shoulder - and excited screaming. </p><p>Hinata. </p><p>“Tsukki, Tsukki! You have to come with us, all the first years are taking a photo together!” He screamed, completely immune to Kei’s sharp glare. He didn’t seem to have much of a choice as Hinata grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the balcony where Yachi, Kageyama and Yamaguchi had already assembled. And Terushima. </p><p>Either Hinata had been living under a rock for the past few years or he didn’t know to read a room. From the way he pushed Kei into Yamaguchi, he wasn’t sure which one was more applicable at this moment. </p><p>Thankfully, he managed to catch himself before he fell right into Yamaguchi - but one look from his former best friend and Kei could tell that he was worried at how much alcohol he had drunk in just a few hours. </p><p>When they talked a week ago, Kei was a safe distance away from Yamaguchi. </p><p>From this close, he could see the freckles on his cheeks, going down to the exposed skin of his neck - Kei knew that the freckles ran across his chest as well. Yamaguchi smelt like the same perfume he had been wearing since high school. That was enough to make Kei want to hug him and never let go. He smelt like comfort and home, he smelt like all those times they woke up next to each other after falling asleep while during homework when it was icy outside. He smelt like the grass after a long day of practice.  </p><p>And all too fast, there were hands pulling on his elbow, effectively stopping him from clinging onto Yamaguchi. </p><p>Kageyama. </p><p>Kei would thank I'm later for that, right now his head was too fuzzy. </p><p>“Picture time.” Kageyama muttered, holding Kei up so that he wouldn’t lean onto Yamaguchi. </p><p>Terushima was holding the camera, and even though he was supposed to be taking pictures of everyone in the image, even drunk Kei could notice that the way he looked at Yamaguchi was bordering on the way Bokuto looked at Akaashi. But it didn’t make him feel happy inside, all it did was make the pit at the bottom of his stomach grow. </p><p>Terushima probably just took two pictures before Kei lost it, grumbling under his breath and pulling away from Kageyama’s grasp. He was going to vomit - and it wouldn’t be because of all the drinks he had. </p><p>He stumbled backwards, catching himself on the doors and glaring at Terushima. He didn’t know why though. Terushima did nothing wrong, and initially he didn’t want to lose his cool in front of him. Terushima didn’t do anything to him, if there was someone to get mad at it was Yamaguchi. </p><p>Kei was mad at Yamaguchi though. </p><p>So mad that that anger was burning through him. </p><p>As if he had summoned him, he felt a soft hand on his back. Yamaguchi. </p><p>“What do you want.” He grumbled, turning around. Yamaguchi looked worried, a little scared too.</p><p>“Do you want to sit down? I could get you a gl-“ </p><p>Kei sneered. “I don’t need anything.” He grunted, trying to ignore the flash of hurt of Yamaguchi’s face when he pulled away. “Especially from you.” </p><p>He turned around and walking away before he could see how Yamaguchi would reply to that. He was used to building walls of hurtful words around him just so he wouldn’t get hurt himself. He’d done it to Akiteru, he’d done it to Kageyama at one point to. </p><p>He never thought he’d have to do it with Yamaguchi</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hihi! So this was the second chapter, I hope you all like it so far! I've made a basic outline for this fic and how I want it to move on from here but I'm going to be alternating from Yamaguchi's POV too to add some nice tension and perspective! </p><p>Feedback and comments are appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Especially not you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tadashi leaned against the wall, Tsukishima’s words running through his mind as he waited for Terushima to get back from the bathroom. </p><p>“Especially not you.” </p><p>He should’ve expected it really. </p><p>Tsukishima wasn’t someone who opened up to people easily and after what he did on the last day of school, he should have expected Tsukishima have his guard up around him again. </p><p>It still frustrated him though.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>-Yamaguchi- </p><p>Tadashi pushed the last chair in where it was supposed to be, sighing and looking around. The party had been so packed earlier, but after Suga and Daichi left, everyone started to filter out - leaving only the few of them there. </p><p>The few of them being Ennoshita, Oikawa, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Kuroo, Terushima and Semi. </p><p>Tsukishima. </p><p>Tadashi let himself stare at the blond for a moment, leaning against the wall and having a conversation with Kuroo and Kageyama. From the looks of it, they were bothering him about something but Tsukishima was too drunk to pay too much attention. </p><p>He had changed since high school, not in ways as obvious as him but in Tadashi’s eyes the change was pretty distinct. He had ditched his glasses, and his hair was just a bit longer as well, curling up around the name of his nape. The last time he had seen Tsukishima drunk was on his eighteenth birthday party, and although he had started to handle his alcohol a lot better, he wasn’t good with his emotions when he drank. </p><p>Tadashi leaned against the wall, Tsukishima’s words running through his mind as he waited for Terushima to get back from the bathroom. </p><p>“Especially not you.” </p><p>He should’ve expected it really. </p><p>Tsukishima wasn’t someone who opened up to people easily and after what he did on the last day of school, he should have expected Tsukishima have his guard up around him again. </p><p>It still frustrated him though. </p><p>At one point of time, Tadashi took pride in being the only person who tsukishima spoke to - the only who could read him like a book. </p><p>But now, two years later, Kageyama of all people was the one next to his old best friend and he was the one who struggled to even hold eye contact with Tsukishima without the bitter feeling of guilt creeping up on him. </p><p>“You thinking about that friend of yours Yamaguchi?” He feels Terushima slide into the seat next to him and his thoughts about Tsukishima almost instantly fade away, his head, is instead filled with a whole different train of thoughts. </p><p>He and Terushima had been dating for almost ten months, but it still felt as though they were on their first date whenever they went out. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, their relationship wasn’t boring and he still felt like ehe was on his toes whenever Terushima was in the vicinity, but there were times when Yamaguchi craved the comfortable familiarity of being domestic. </p><p>Since Terushima was put in his fathers company without even going to college, he was always away on some kind of business trip and that left them to have awkwardly timed calls and Skype ‘dates’ until Terushima would come back home for just three days before being taken away for some business thing all over again. </p><p>Tadashi had moved in with Terushima, but that was mostly because he needed someone where with cheap - or no rent, and Terushima needed someone to look after the house while he was away. </p><p>Tadashi still liked him though. </p><p>He was funny and surprisingly smart too. At first, Terushima came off to him as cocky, but he found out that his boyfriend somehow knew what to say and when to say it. </p><p>Like right now. </p><p>“I just feel terrible.” He mumbled, leaning into Terushima’s touch and closing his eyes. “I want to talk it out but he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as I’m in.” Tadashi explained, looking at how Terushima’s phone was buzzing. Thankfully for him, his mini breakdown was more important to him than whoever was texting him. </p><p>“And I know I was a shitty friend and it’ll probably take forever for Tsukki to like me again but,” He felt his voice crack but he had to get this out of his system. “But I miss him. And I can’t apologise because he hates me so much that he can’t even look at me!” </p><p>Terushima was rubbing Tadashi’s knuckles, trying to calm him down. “Do you know how he looked like when I met him last week?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “He was just staring at me, Teru! And then when I talked to him he made that same hurt face he made years ago, and he sounded repulsed by me when I asked him to come here. He hates me Teru, he hates me.”</p><p>Terushima breathed out a slow laugh. “I’m sure he was staring at you because he hasn’t seen you in years…in his defence, you have changed a lot.” He tried to reason. “Just give him some time, he’ll come around.” </p><p>Tadashi sighed. “That’s the point, he doesn’t have to come around, he just needs to listen to me.” He kicked his feet a bit and Teru smiled, nodding just a bit. </p><p>Everyone was starting to leave now, so Tadashi got out of his seat to say goodbye to Ennoshita before he and Teru left for him too. Tsukishima and Kageyama had already left - he must have missed them when he was talking to Terushima. </p><p>The air outside was cold, Tadashi was glad that he had parked the car close to the venue and not across the street. Teru was a few steps behind him, finally checking all those messages he was getting a while ago. </p><p>“Hey Yams?” He asked, opening the passenger set of the car and getting in. </p><p>Tadashi sat in the drivers seat and closed the car door. “Yeah?” </p><p>“Do you remember when I said that we would have all of next week to ourselves? And we’d go to the arcade and all that?” He asked. Tadashi nodded, taking in a deep breathe. He knew what was coming now, this had been the case whenever the two of them wanted to spend time together. When Terushima squeezed his hand, his suspicions were only confirmed. </p><p>“Let me guess.” Tadashi said, all hints of playfulness gone from his voice. “You need to go somewhere with your dad that week?” </p><p>Terushima looked down at his lap and nodded, he looked ashamed. </p><p>Yamaguchi sighed, his eyes on the road in front of him. There wasn’t really any point in telling him what had been on his mind about their relationship recently, he knew that whatever he said, it would barely make any difference - Terushima would be off with his father and he’d come back to Tadashi in a few weeks, maybe they could talk then. </p><p>The silence in the car became too much for him to handle after a while. “It just….” Tadashi sighed and tightened his hands around the wheel. “It’s just that it always feels like we’re on our first date Teru.” </p><p>“We’ve been dating for months and it feels like I barely know you.” He whispered, pulling into the parking of their apartment complex. Terushima gave him a sad look before pulling Tadashi into a hug. </p><p>He felt himself relax against Terushima. He wasn’t the one in the wrong here, it was just a messed up situation that they had to get through, being angry at Teru would only increase the amount of problems they had. </p><p>“You’re sleepy Yams, you’ve had a stressful day.” He whispered, pressing a kiss on Tadashi’s temple. “We can talk about this when we wake up, hm?” Tadashi nodded, maybe he was just overreacting and they could talk tomorrow when Tsukki’s words weren’t playing over and over again in his head. </p><p>‘Especially not you.’</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hii! So I've decided to write 2 chapters from Tsukki's perspective and 2 from yamaguchi's - that'll be the structure of the fanfic from now on, I hope you enjoy reading! &lt;3</p><p>Any feedback or constructive criticism is welcome!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Coffee and candy Wrappers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tsukki was coming to pick him up. </p><p>Tsukki would be there for him during everything.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! A short note before the chapter, it contains a minor character death so I just wanted to let everyone know !! </p><p>Enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It all happened so fast.</p><p>One second Tadashi was having his morning tea while finishing an assignment and all of a sudden he was crying in his bathroom, phone clutched to his chest.</p><p>Who knew a single phone call could hurt so much.</p><p>It was his mom, usually she called once or twice a week to check up on him so the fact that she was calling him at the crack of dawn should have been a red flag in itself - he just assumed that his mom missed his voice too much to wait for a better time.</p><p>Then she told Tadashi that his grandmother had passed on, her voice hushed and strained - she was probably crying before the call was made. Their conversation was short and to the point, he couldn’t blame his mom though, right now Tadashi barely had it in him to say a sentence without crying.</p><p>He was supposed to go to Fukushima where his grandma lived with his grandfather and help around until the funeral in a few days.</p><p>Tadashi's body shook as he stood up from his spot in the empty bathtub. He was hours late for his classes and there was no point of going if all he was going to do was cry in all of them. His t shirt was all crumpled up and damp from wiping his tears and snot. What was worse was that Terushima left yesterday night so he couldn’t even cling onto his boyfriend for comfort.</p><p>If Tadashi were being honest, the only person that he had right now was Tsukki.</p><p>He guessed that Tsukki had gotten a call as well, since their parents were close, Yamaguchi’s mom probably told Tsukki’s mom and she relayed this message to Tsukki himself. As far as he could remember, Tsukki was close to his grandma too. She would make matching sweaters for them, and bake Tsukki’s favourite sweets since Tsukki was his only friend. His grandma was also the person who got Tsukki obsessed with listening to music on her old cassettes.</p><p>But Tsukki hated him.</p><p>He couldn’t just call him and ask for a hug, he didn’t deserve that comfort from Tsukki after what he did to him in high school.</p><p>So he was going to stop crying, pack his bags and leave for a few days in Fukushima by himself. He’d ask one of his classmates for the notes when he returned.</p><p>He’d be responsible eldest grandson and help with the rituals, console all of his relatives. He couldn’t cry right now, what would his grandma think of him then? She always called Tadashi her ‘little hero’ so he was going to be just that for his family.</p><p>Or that’s what he thought he’d do.</p><p>Just an hour after packing his overnight bag, Tadashi’s phone buzzed. It was probably just his mother reminding him of the address.</p><p>Tsukki :D :</p><p>[ I’m supposed to take you to Fukushima. I’ll be at your apartment in an hour.]</p><p>The message was simple, formal even. No emotions, honestly Tadashi couldn’t tell if Tsukki was the least bit upset or not from the text. But seeing his name flash up on the small screen of his phone for the first time in years was enough to make him emotional all over again.</p><p>Tsukki was coming to pick him up.</p><p>Tsukki would be there for him during everything.</p><p>At least physically.</p><p>After that engagement party, there was no arguing that Tsukki still hated him - not after he refused to speak to him unless it was to throw a harsh comment for the entire night. Tadashi didn’t blame him though, if their positions were switched Tadashi would be just as bitter as Tsukki, maybe even more.</p><p>But maybe they’d be able to talk this time - sort out their differences, or at least be able to apologise to Tsukki properly.</p><p>His grandma always said that whenever a cloud parted, it gave way to sunlight.</p><p>So by the time Tsukki came to pick him up, Tadashi had packed his bags and even the old scarf his grandma had given him the last time he visited - having a part of her around would help him feel less lonely.</p><p>The doorbell sounded heavy through the empty house, Tadashi put on his shoes and answered, his bag already in hand.</p><p>Tsukki was wearing a big green sweatshirt and jeans, his glasses looked a bit lopsided - Tadashi had to resist reaching up and fixing it for him. His eyes were a little puffy though, red around the edges - he had been crying.</p><p>“It’s a three hour ride, lets go.” Tsukishima turned around so fast that Tadashi almost tripped trying to catch up with him AND lock the door to his house. Suddenly it felt as if they were in middle school all over again.</p><p>The car was clean and smelt like coffee - very Tsukishima-esque, there was even little candies near the seat pocket, it was obvious that he took great care of his car. He got into the passenger seat and waited for Tsukki to start driving, playing with his fingers and looking around to distract himself from thinking about the entire situation too much.</p><p>The first half an hour of the car ride was spent in complete silence - except for the low hum of the radio in the background. He sighed, leaning against the cool of the window, breaths making small bouts of fog on the glass.</p><p>The last time he spoke with his grandma was almost a month ago, it was much less cold at the time and Tadashi remembered how his grandma made him a cup of steaming hot chocolate and sent him home with a bag of mysterious herbs - she said that it was for his good health.</p><p>He sniffled back a sob at the memory, earning himself a raised eyebrow from Tsukki. The taller man sighed, turning his car so they would merge into the highway. “Do you want to…want to talk about it?” He sounded awkward. “I’ve heard that talking about it helps the process.”</p><p>Tadashi nodded. He didn’t necessarily want to talk but if he stayed alone with his thoughts for a moment longer, Yamaguchi was sure that he would break. “Remember when we were little?”</p><p>Tsukki nodded.</p><p>“She’d take both of us to the corner store everyday of summer to buy us popsicles, even when your dad said it was bad for your teeth.” He let out a hollow laugh at the memory, watching the scenery change outside the window. Looking at Tsukki would only bring back too many memories.</p><p>“She made me a box of Mochi to share with the class but we ended up finishing them before we got to school.” Tadashi snickered, he could still remember the sweetness of the treat, he let Tsukki eat the last piece.</p><p>Tsukki cleared his throat. “She also took us to the museum that one time.” He could feel the small smile in his voice at the recollection of the memory. Tadashi remembered how his grandma told them both stories about the old relics, he didn’t know if those stories were accurate but honestly he couldn’t bring himself to care.</p><p>“She let us play video games when mom and dad were out for work.” Tadashi whispered.</p><p>Tsukishima made a sound. “Didn’t she also volunteer to make props for our school play?”</p><p>He smiled at the memory, his grandma would send them to the store just to bring back threads and buttons of different colours. His grandma would always take part in their pretend games and make their favourite foods as well.</p><p>“She made the best strawberry cakes.” Tsukki breathed out, his voice cracked as he spoke and Yamaguchi hummed in acknowledgement.</p><p>He kept his eyes trained on the trees outside the car, Tsukki hated when people saw him cry, the least he could do right now was to give his friend the privacy of crying without people looking.</p><p>Tadashi wouldn’t admit it but part of the reason he didn’t look at Tsukki was because he was crying too - and looking would only make his crying worse.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hehe! This isn't too much of a plot turning point in the story, but it is important since our two boys start talking to each other! On the brighter side, I've made an outline for this story so I know what will take place and when, I hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Midnight Snacks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kei cleared his throat. “I’ll…I’ll just make some tea and then leave.” </p><p>Yamaguchi hummed. </p><p>Kei went to stand by the stove, boiling some water for the tea. </p><p>He tried to ignore Yamaguchi’s eyes boring into his back, tried to ignore they way he could tell that he could tell that Yamaguchi was upset although he couldn't see him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei was exhausted. </p><p>Physically. Mentally. He was pretty sure he would be spiritually exhausted too if he knew if that was a thing. </p><p>The car ride the day before yesterday, right after all his classes tired him out enough as it was and the second he stepped foot in the Yamaguchi household he was given so many things to do. Driving Yamaguchi’s relatives to and from the temples, picking up groceries while the Yamaguchi family was busy, running small errands as well. When they said that he would always be treated like family, they definitely meant it. </p><p>It didn’t help that most of his thoughts were about Yamaguchi or his grandma. </p><p>He was still angry at Yamaguchi - if there was one thing that Kei was good at it was keeping grudges. In fact, sometimes it felt like holding grudges was the only thing he could do right. Right now though, he was too tired to go through all the effort of systematically ignoring his old best friend like he’d been doing the past years. </p><p>He knew he didn’t share the same sorrow as the Yamaguchi family did at the loss but that didn't mean he wasn’t sad. Even if they weren’t related by blood, it was as if Yamaguchi’s grandma was his own grandma. His parents were always away at work when he was younger, which meant he spent most of his elementary school after school at the Yamaguchi’s house - until one of his parents picked him up. </p><p>That was a lot of his childhood. </p><p>The last time he spoke to her was just that Sunday - she insisted to call once in a while even though him and Yamaguchi were having a ‘rough spot’ - she refused to believe that their friendship was over. Kei remembered what she said over the phone that night, after asking about how his studies were going. </p><p>“Life is too short for grudges Kei, remember that.” Then she proceeded to tell him how her assortment of lavender herbs would help him sleep better at night. </p><p>Then all of sudden, she was gone. </p><p>Kei sighed and got up from his bed in the guest bedroom. It was nearing 2 am, and despite having such a busy day he couldn’t fall asleep. The funeral was tomorrow, and they’d be leaving for Tokyo the same evening. </p><p>It all felt so painfully real, but at the same time Kei didn't want to believe a thing. </p><p>Quietly, he made his way to the kitchen. He spent multiple summers here, and even though he knew the Yamaguchi house like the back of his palm, waking someone up even by accident wouldn’t be good. </p><p>All the lights were turned off, Kei was sure that everyone was asleep. </p><p>He was going to make himself a cup of something warm - hopefully it would help him get a nights worth of sleep. </p><p>Patting the side of the kitchen wall a few times, his fingers finally pressed against the lights switch, making Kei squint his eyes at the change in atmosphere. </p><p>He heard a grunt coming from the counter, and then he opened his eyes. </p><p>Yamaguchi - looking just as surprised as he was, frowned at Kei. Neither of them expected the other one to be in the kitchen. </p><p>He was sitting on the counter crosslegged, a mug of something cradled carefully in his lap as he observed Kei. Unlike all the other times they were alone together, Yamaguchi barely tried to fill in the silence, it was like he didn’t even care. </p><p>Kei cleared his throat. “I’ll…I’ll just make some tea and then leave.” </p><p>Yamaguchi hummed. </p><p>Kei went to stand by the stove, boiling some water for the tea. </p><p>He tried to ignore Yamaguchi’s eyes boring into his back, tried to ignore they way he could tell that he could tell that Yamaguchi was upset although he couldn't see him. </p><p>Instead, he got to working - trying to put all of his focus and energy onto making tea and not the boy behind him. </p><p>The water was boiling, Kei shifted through the cupboards silently to find tea leaves. Yamaguchi cleared his throat. “Tsukki-Tsukishima.” He corrected himself almost instantly. </p><p>Kei turned around just for a moment, glancing at Yamaguchi before looking back to the tea. He didn't know whether he wanted Yamaguchi to shut up or was thankful that he was attempting to fill the silence. </p><p>There was a moment of silence once again, before he heard a small “sorry” coming from Yamaguchi’s direction. His sounded small and hollow, and from the way his voice cracked at the end of his word, Kei could tell that he was crying. </p><p>He sighed, turning around and taking a good look at Yamaguchi. He was looking down so Kei couldn’t see his eyes but Yamaguchi was shaking softly and that was enough to understand that he was crying. </p><p>The smarter decision would be to leave the kitchen. He wasn’t going to accept Yamaguchi’s half assed apology anyhow - especially now that he so obviously wasn’t thinking clearly enough. But he remembered what his mom said before this trip. </p><p>“Take care of Tadashi, won’t you?” </p><p>Yeah, that was the reason he was staying. </p><p>Not because he couldn’t see Yamaguchi upset no matter how angry he was with him. Not because he wanted to make sure that Yamaguchi was okay. Not because hearing Yamaguchi cry made his own eyes water. </p><p>He was staying here because his mom told him to take care of Yamaguchi. </p><p>He turned off the gas and was in front of Yamaguchi in one swift step. “Don’t apologise.” He muttered. “I don’t want to hear it.” </p><p>Yamaguchi blinked in surprise, honestly Kei was pretty surprised of the words coming out of his mouth as well. He wasn’t forgiving Yamaguchi - he wanted to make sure that his old friend knew that. It still hurt to look at him, but his priorities had changed for this trip. </p><p>“Are you…are we..” Yamaguchi started, Kei shook his head and ducked closer to him. If Yamaguchi hadn’t been sitting with his legs crossed, Kei could be between them.</p><p>Instead he took the mug from his lap and placed it on the space next to them. </p><p>Kei sighed. “We’re not talking about that right now.” He decided for both of them, wrapping his arms around Yamaguchi. Kei did want to talk though, he deserved an explanation for what happened to him. But right now, Yamaguchi was hurting and it was Kei’s duty to comfort him. </p><p>He closed his eyes and tried to focus on how to control his heartbeat. Yamaguchi clinging onto his t-shirt, his sobs only getting louder and louder by the minute. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” He choked out again, and Kei pulled him closer. </p><p>“Shut up Yamaguchi.” </p><p>He rubbed his back in gentle circles. The last time he had held Yamaguchi like this was in third year of high school when Yamaguchi was feeling nervous about his role as the new captain. He’d gotten broader now, his shakes carried more weight than he expected. </p><p>He grabbed at the back of his t-shirt and clung onto Kei. “Should we go…should I take you back to your room?” He asked, and Yamaguchi shook his head, immediately burying his head into the crook of Kei’s neck. </p><p>“It sucks.” He croaked out. Kei pulled him impossibly closer, he didn’t know what to say - or if he was supposed to say something at all. </p><p>“Grandma’s dead and dad is overseas and I’m supposed to be strong but Teru isn’t here and you hate me.” He spit out in a single breathe. </p><p>Kei let out a shallow breath. Yamaguchi wasn’t wrong when he said that Kei hated him, because Kei hated Yamaguchi with every fibre on his body. But he loved him too, he never stopped loving Yamaguchi and he doubted he ever could. </p><p>That only made Kei hate him even more, so he didn’t say anything at all. </p><p>Instead of saying anything, Kei held Yamaguchi in his arms until he fell asleep on the kitchen counter. </p><p>Yamaguchi was heavier than he was in high school, Kei didn’t know why he found that so surprising. He still drooled though, and in the quick ten minutes it took for him to carry Yamaguchi back to his room, there was a small patch of saliva on the shoulder of his t shirt. </p><p>Kei lay Yamaguchi down on the bed and took a step back, allowing himself to stare for a moment - just one moment. </p><p>Yamaguchi’s hair was a mess, all long and strewn across his pillow. Remnants of chocolate were near smeared near his lips, and his t shirt was too big, it probably belonged to Terushima now that he thought about it. </p><p>Yamaguchi was a mess. </p><p>And Kei was utterly, stupidly in love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HII !! I guess I'm posting updates faster than usual since I've put my other writing projects on hold for this one! It may seem like it's proceeding a little quickly but it's just Tsukki giving us a little back context but not revealing all too much, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one will have more interactions!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Strawberry Shortcake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The actual funeral was done over an hour ago. </p><p>Speeches were given. </p><p>People held each other. </p><p>Family mourned. </p><p>Then everyone left.  </p><p>Now the only people left were Yamaguchi and Mrs. Yamaguchi - they were inside the funeral home taking care of some of the bills. Since Kei was the one who drove them both here he was waiting too, he wondered if the Yamaguchi’s felt comfortable being with someone who wasn’t a part of their family in such trying times.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei sat against the tree, his glasses beside him on the grass as he rubbed his eyes. Usually he’d wear contacts but they got itchy whenever he cried, and there was be a lot of crying at a funeral. </p><p>The actual funeral was done over an hour ago. </p><p>Speeches were given. </p><p>People held each other. </p><p>Family mourned. </p><p>Then everyone left.  </p><p>Now the only people left were Yamaguchi and Mrs. Yamaguchi - they were inside the funeral home taking care of some of the bills. Since Kei was the one who drove them both here he was waiting too, he wondered if the Yamaguchi’s felt comfortable being with someone who wasn’t a part of their family in such trying times. </p><p>It’s not like he could do anything much about it anyways. </p><p>The door to the funeral home opened, Kei decided right now would be a good time to get off the ground. He dusted off his black suit and watched as Mrs. Yamaguchi shook the funeral director’s hand and started walking towards him, son in tow. </p><p>She gave Kei a watery smile before stopping under the tree. Her hair was the same shade as Yamaguchi’s and if you ignored the wrinkles under her eyes, she looked exactly how she did years ago. </p><p>He always felt a warm sense of familiarity with her - with any of Yamaguchi’s family now that he thought about it. </p><p>“Kei…” She trailed off and stared at him, like she was just taking notice of him. He didn’t say anything to this, it was hard enough dealing with the death of a parent and orchestrating an entire funeral on your own, she didn't owe anything to pay attention to Kei. </p><p>She pat his shoulder gently, a show of thanks. “Mum would be so disappointed I didn’t treat you well this stay.” She sighed. “How about I treat you and Tadashi for lunch before you leave, it’s the least I can do.” </p><p>Despite it being a question, Kei knew that he didn’t exactly have a choice, nor did he want to upset the already grieving woman. He nodded stiffly, following her and Yamaguchi to the car. </p><p>“We can go to that old cafe, the one you and Tadashi always used to go to as kids?” She asked, sitting in the passenger seat of the car. Kei sat in the drivers seat and waited for a few moments before starting the car, giving Yamaguchi and his mom the time to get comfortable. </p><p>Kei remembered the route to the cafe, they served the best pastries in the area and it was right in front of the McDonalds where Yamaguchi got his weekly dose of french fries from. Yamaguchi’s mum started talking to Yamaguchi about his time in Tokyo, who he spent his time with, where he liked to go out for dinner, most things that had pushed aside until now. </p><p>He didn’t want to admit it, but Kei was listening in on this conversation carefully. He didn’t like Yamaguchi, but it had been years, and this was going to be the most he was going to find out about his old friend. </p><p>“Oh isn’t Oikawa that boy who we met at the school festival? The tall one who wasn’t too good at the game stalls?” His mom asked suddenly, Yamaguchi chuckled in affirmation. “I’m surprised you two are friends, I wouldn’t think you’d get along.” Kei mentally nodded in agreement, he knew Yamaguchi had friends in the city, he guessed who some of them were, but he wouldn’t have guessed that he was friends with Oikawa Tooru. </p><p>Kei parked the car in the cafe parking lot. </p><p>“What about that boy of yours, Terushima?” She asked as the three of them as they entered the cafe. The strong smell of coffee and sugar hit him like a brick and Kei’s eyes immediately went towards the booth that him and Yamaguchi would sit at. </p><p>Yamaguchi dragged his mother to the other side of the cafe, Kei followed. </p><p>“He hasn’t been home lately.” Yamaguchi sighed and slipped into his seat. “He’s got business and stuff…I’m not sure where.” He admitted with a stiff shrug. </p><p>His mother frowned, Kei tried to keep to himself, reading the menu in front of him. “I never liked him too much to begin with, you two are on different stages of life.” His mother commented. “What do you think Kei?” She asked suddenly. </p><p>Kei tensed up, he could feel Yamaguchi cough out his water next to him. He cleared his throat, wanting to sound as disinterested as he possibly could. “I mean…Terushima has matured from high school.” He muttered, pushing the menu away. </p><p>He had to chose his words carefully, he couldn’t outrightly say that he disliked Terushima for a reason so petty. “I don’t know about how much time he spends away though.” </p><p>Yamaguchi’s mom pursed her lip and nodded, Kei decided that right now was a good time to focus on the waitress who came to take their order. Their conversation was cut short - thank god, as everyone gave their orders. </p><p>Kei decided on a strawberry shortcake with coffee, he didn’t listen to anyone else’s order. </p><p>Yamaguchi’s mom seemed to stick to the same conversation topic, she must be really invested in her son’s love life. “Tadashi, I know I usually don’t meddle in your romantic life…but don’t you think that you would be better off alone?” </p><p>Yamaguchi was clearly shocked by this - so was Kei. </p><p>Yamaguchi’s mom really wasn't one to meddle into anyone’s business, only saying things when the situation was getting serious. Which was probably why it was all so shocking right now. Sure, Kei wasn’t exactly fond of Terushima. But that was because he was loud and annoying and he was just so friendly with everyone and looking at him made Kei remember that he had the one thing Kei couldn’t dream of having. </p><p>Nothing serious though. </p><p>Yamaguchi’s mom waited for the waiters to leave the food in front of the three before she began talking again. “I’ve met him twice, he’s not a bad boy.” She took a sip from the mug she was holding. “But you two are just too different, don’t you think?” </p><p>Yamaguchi looked like he was about to say something when his mom held up her hand - telling Yamaguchi not to interrupt her. “Like I said Tadashi, you two are on different walks of life. You’re in college, and you will be fore a few years, isn’t that right?” </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded. Kei took a bite of his shortcake. </p><p>“Terushima kun is already a part of a company, and he has so much to do, you’re the one who says that he’s barely home isn’t that right?” She didn’t wait for Yamaguchi to say anything. “All I’m saying is, you won’t be happy in the long run.” </p><p>Yamaguchi groaned. “You say that like dad isn’t away on some weird trip right now.” he outed and angrily took a bite of his noodles, right now Yamaguchi looked like a child who wanted a toy from his mother. </p><p>Mrs. Yamaguchi sighed and shook her head. “That’s not the point Tadashi. Dad is only away once or twice in a year, and our relationship is well established enough for me to feel secure even when he isn't here.” She took her sons hands in hers and squeezed lightly. “The relationship that you and Terushima has was never built on trust, do you really want to spend your twenties waiting for him like a middle aged housewife when you can be doing so much more?” </p><p>Yamaguchi’s hand was starting to shake, his gaze fixed on the table. Kei knew him well enough to know that he was going to cry soon. </p><p>“Honestly, I’m pretty sure even Kei would be better for you than him, I know that you two are strictly friends and he’s straight but-“ </p><p>That was probably the limit for Yamaguchi. He could take his mom bashing Terushima but the second Kei was brought up, he could take it - Kei thought bitterly to himself. </p><p>Yamaguchi pushed his chair back, getting out of the restaurant in a hurry, leaving both his mom and Kei sitting there awkwardly. “Should I….I didn’t…I didn’t know I hit a soft spot…” She murmured, looking at the door Yamaguchi had just walk out of. </p><p>Kei took a bite of his shortcake. “Don’t go right now…let him cool down a bit.”</p><p>Yamaguchi’s mom nodded and focused her attention on her tea. Kei could tell that she still had a lot of questions to ask Yamaguchi - specifically about how complex his and Kei’s relationship was. She obviously wasn’t going to say anything after the way Yamaguchi had run off, Kei was grateful, he didn’t want anyone poking into his business for any reason. </p><p>He was about to tell Yamaguchi’s mom that it was safe to go after Yamaguchi now, when the door opened and Yamaguchi himself entered. His eyes were redder than they had been and his hair was a mess. </p><p>He was definitely crying. </p><p>“Can…can we go back home now ma?” He asked softly. “I need to get back to Tokyo soon and I’m sue that Tsukishima needs to too.” </p><p>His eyes were focused on the floor but his mom nodded. “Of course, you and Kei can wait in the car, I’ll pay and be there in a moment. She smiled before standing up. “You’ll be back for longer in your winter vacation, wont you?” </p><p>Yamaguchi smiled and nodded, assuring his mom that he wasn’t mad at her. “Of course.” </p><p>Kei cleared his throat and stood up, walking out the door - he could feel Yamaguchi walking behind him, he could tell when he opened the back of the car and wore his seatbelt. Kei let himself look at Yamaguchi through the mirror, watching him rub his eyes before his gaze landed on Kei himself. </p><p>Kei coughed self consciously. </p><p>“She wasn’t wrong you know?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As some of you may have noticed, I'm pretty terrible at chapter titles, whoops :/<br/>But in other news, here's the next chapter! I'll be honest, this one was a little hard to write since I was extremely busy this past week and writing this conversation with Yamaguchi's mom was kind of hard to write, but I hope you all enjoyed reading !! I have two important things I want to say though. <br/>1. I will be posting once a week, every Monday :)</p><p>2. I'm thinking of starting a ShinKami story but I haven't decided the logistics of that yet, just thought everyone should know !! </p><p>Enjoy and thank you for reading &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Gas Stations and Shaky Hands</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Well, they weren’t friends anymore. </p><p>Not after what Tadashi did. </p><p>“You. You’re the one who came to me that day after my match, and now I’m here babysitting you at a funeral, have you ever thought about what that did to me?” His words hurt, and Tadashi was trying his level best not to burst into tears. He was angry and upset and guilty and yeah - he was selfish too. </p><p>He sniffled. “That still doesn’t give you the freedom to tell me about my relationship, I know what we’re doing.” </p><p>“Oh so if you know what you’re doing how come one sentence from me - someone who hasn’t spoken to you in years, is getting you so damn hungover on it Yamaguchi?” Tsukishima’s voice felt like a knife, cutting through him - partially because he knew that was Tsukishima said was true, no it was definitely because what Tsukishima said was true.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A little note before you start reading, this chapter contains mentions of homophobia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tadashi sat in the passenger seat of Tsukishima’s car for what felt like the hundredth time this week. This time he didn’t have anyone else to talk to though, he’d been avoiding Tsukishima for the one hour they were at his house but now they were stuck together in a car for three hours. </p><p>All alone. </p><p>Tadashi was staring out the window and trying to seem as busy as he could. Which wasn’t hard, considering that the only thing on his mind was what his mom and Tsukishima had told him today - mostly his mom. </p><p>Being with Terushima wasn’t bad. </p><p>It’s not like Terushima treated him badly or anything. He would always be polite at dates and brought Tadashi gifts whenever he came back from trips and he’d even stay up late somedays just so that he could call Tadashi. Sometimes he flirted with others, but that was who he was - it never bothered Tadashi. 	</p><p>So if he was so confident in the relationship that they both had, why was he suddenly questioning everything? </p><p>It was true, Terushima was away a lot and despite being dating for so long they hadn’t progressed too much in their relationship, he still enjoyed being with him - that was supposed to be enough, wasn't it? Sure, they were moving slower than other couples around him, but all the movies and books overcome that. Love is that only thing that is supposed to matter. </p><p>He felt the car stop, pulling him out of his thoughts. They were at a gas station and Tsukishima was telling something to the guy who was pumping gas into the car - giving him a credit car. </p><p>The transaction is quick, and before starting the car, Tsukishima glanced at him. “Do you need to go to the bathroom?” He asked. </p><p>Tadashi blinks. </p><p>No. He doesn’t have to go to the bathroom, not at all. He should tell this to Tsukishima, he did ask didn’t he? </p><p>Instead he took in a breath. Tadashi is beginning to think there’s a faulty connection between his brain and mouth. “You know, you can’t just say that to a person Tsukishima?” </p><p>Tsukishima raised an eyebrow. “I can’t ask you if you need to use the bathroom?”</p><p>Tadashi shook his head and sunk back into his car seat. “We haven’t talked in years, you can't just show up and say stuff about my relationship.” </p><p>“I’m the one who showed up?” Tsukishima scoffed, giving extra emphasis on the “I’m”. The engine of the car revved and they were on the road once again, looks like neither of them needed to use the bathroom. </p><p>“I can’t believe you right now.” He said. “Trust me I was more than happy not to see you Yamaguchi - I was finally feeling myself again, after 2 whole years, do you know what seeing you did to me?” There was spite in his voice, anger. Tadashi felt his eyes stinging, in all their years of friendship Tadashi had never heard this tone from Tsukishima aimed at him, 3 years ago, he was sure that he never would. </p><p>Well, they weren’t friends anymore. </p><p>Not after what Tadashi did. </p><p>“You. You’re the one who came to me that day after my match, and now I’m here babysitting you at a funeral, have you ever thought about what that did to me?” His words hurt, and Tadashi was trying his level best not to burst into tears. He was angry and upset and guilty and yeah - he was selfish too. </p><p>He sniffled. “That still doesn’t give you the freedom to tell me about my relationship, I know what we’re doing.” </p><p>“Oh so if you know what you’re doing how come one sentence from me - someone who hasn’t spoken to you in years, is getting you so damn hungover on it Yamaguchi?” Tsukishima’s voice felt like a knife, cutting through him - partially because he knew that was Tsukishima said was true, no it was definitely because what Tsukishima said was true. </p><p>These thoughts about him and Terushima were always in the back of him mind and all Tsukishima did was bring them forward. </p><p>“I don’t need relationship advice from someone like you Tsukishima.” Now that he was saying it, the words didn’t stop. “If what Kageyama says isn’t wrong all you’ve had are meaningless one night stands since highschool, what would you know about how civil adult relationships work like?” He knew he was crossing a line, he was hurting Tsukishima. The way his knuckles tightened around the steering wheel didn’t go unnoticed by Tadashi, he was hurting Tsukishima and he wanted it to stop - but what had been said had already been said. </p><p>Tsukishima scoffed - he wouldn’t go down without a fight. “Civil adults?” He asked. “Civil adults don’t fucking ignore all their best friends calls because one thing doesn't work out between them.” </p><p>“You say it like it was just a minor disagreement.” </p><p>Tadashi thought he saw tears in Tsukishima’s eyes - maybe it was just a trick of the light. “It would’ve been minor if you didn’t fucking blow it out of proportion Yamaguchi, I said that I would be happy with friends too.” </p><p>“It doesn’t work like that Tsukki.” He groaned. “We couldn’t just be friends after…after what you said that day.” </p><p>Tsukishima sneered, he could definitely see tears now. “Don’t you think years of friendship at least deserve an explanation, or was I not worth that too?” </p><p>Tadashi didn’t say anything straight away, he never thought about how it would affect Tsukki in the eand - obviously it wasn’t easy for him. “I…” He took a deep breath. “I was confused okay? I didn’t know how I felt and I didn’t want to lead you on or anything? I panicked Tsukki, I’m sorry but you can’t blame me-“ </p><p>“I thought you were disgusted at me.” </p><p>That caught Tadashi’s attention. Never in so many years had he heard Tsukki sound so small, not even that one time when Tsukki got really sick at the end of second year. “I thought you were disgusted.” He said again. “I thought you hated me because I was gay.” </p><p>Tadashi looked at his old best friend, his eyes wide in shock - this was getting worse by the second, why would Tsukki say that? Tsukishima himself had his eyes on the road, but his hands were shaking and so were his lips, enough to tell Tadashi that he was close to crying. </p><p>Tsukki…was that what Tsukki thought of him running away from him? Did he really make his best friend - probably his only friend for most of high school hated him because he was gay? That thought had never crossed his mind - not once in two years. </p><p>He thought about Tsukki a lot in the past year - things like what he would say to him if they ever met again, if he would buy Tsukki cake every Thursday in a way of trying to regain his trust. He had wondered how long it would take for Tsukki to open upto him like old time, or whether he had found some new friends in this time. </p><p>He’d never thought to question what exactly he was apologising for though, it was always clear to him - he would apologise to Tsukki for being scared and confused and rejecting his confession in the worst way humanely possible - he never thought that he would be apologising to Kei for confirming his worst fears, making him doubt and hate himself. </p><p>In their first year of middle school they had made a promise to always accept each other. It was after Yamaguchi had scored low in a test and thought that he was ‘too stupid too be Tsukki’s friend’. Tadashi remembered that promise whenever he told Tsukki a secret.</p><p>That promise meant the world to him, knowing that Tsukki of all people would accept him no matter what. </p><p>He had broken that promise. </p><p>Tadashi wanted to hug Tsukki, hold his best friend and tell him that he never hated him, he never could. He was just scared and confused and oh god - he should have been happy that Tsukki felt comfortable enough to come out to him in the first place, but all his focus was on the wrong part of the conversation that day. </p><p>It wasn’t until he had ran halfway back to his house that he realised what he actually said. </p><p>‘I could never be with someone like you.’ </p><p>Someone like you. </p><p>He meant someone like ‘Tsukishima Kei’ but now he realised how he could’ve easily meant something completely different. </p><p>He felt lightheaded when he looked to Tsukishima, he still wasn’t crying, but his knuckles were white from holding onto the wheel too tight, and he was trying to control his breathing - something Tsukki always did when he was overwhelmed. </p><p>“Tsukki I swear I could ne-“ </p><p>“I don’t want to hear it.” Tsukishima’s voice cracked. “I don’t think we should talk for the rest of the ride. I’ll take you home and you can do whatever you want with that boyfriend of yours.” </p><p>There’s a pause. </p><p>“It was my fault for prying anyways. You can handle it like civil adults.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sure most of you have realised by now, but I'm really terrible at naming chapters...<br/>And thank you so much for a 1000+ hits, I'm grateful for all of you reading this story &lt;3<br/>Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm trying not to give out their whole backstory in a single monologue since that can be boring so I'm putting it out there little by little. This sure was an angsty chapter but you know what they say, "It gets worse before it gets better."<br/>I hope everyone has an wonderful Christmas, please remember to take necessary precautions wherever you live !!</p><p>P.S: I'm putting that ShinKami idea on hold since I'll probably end up getting overwhelmed by two projects at the same time :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Ice Cream and Wine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“What do I do now?” </p><p>There was silence. </p><p>“You could start by apologising, Dashi chan.” Oikawa finally said. “Without crying of course.” </p><p>“A proper apology, sit him down and force him to listen to what you need to say.” He continued. “Don’t blame him, but tell him your side of the story, but don’t expect him to accept the apology straight away - I learnt that the hard way with Hajme.” He sighed. </p><p>Tadashi blinked sleepily. </p><p>Yes, he would have to apologise.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tadashi was sitting on his couch, staring at the packed boxes all around him. </p><p>He did it. </p><p>He can’t believe he actually did it. </p><p>He can’t believe one conversation with Tsukki and his mom (and admittedly a lot more from his other friends) made him actually go through with it. </p><p>He broke up with Terushima. </p><p>It wasn’t a rash decision - not really. As much as he hated to admit it, the thought had been on Tadashi’s mind for a while now and the talk he had with both Tsukki and his mom just catalysed the process. Terushima and him just weren’t on the same page, so much so that their entire year together felt more like a first date. </p><p>And first dates were bound to end sometime, right? </p><p>That’s what he told Terushima on the phone, he was still on his trip and would only be back next week.</p><p> If Tadashi were being completely honest though, he always assumed that his first breakup would be more dramatic. He thought there would be more tears, maybe some screaming and ice cream - just like he’d seem in all those movies and dramas. Terushima didn’t put up a fight either, he said that he saw this coming, he said that he was proud of Tadashi for not letting himself be held back by him. </p><p>Terushima should’ve been mad at him, said something that stung. And Tadashi would cry just like the heroines of those shows. </p><p>Instead he felt fine. Maybe a little frustrated because he was homeless, but fine. Maybe this is what happens when you break up with someone you barely knew, if he and Terushima were closer them maybe things would be tougher. </p><p>It was all relative, Tadashi thought. </p><p>He waited for a few more minutes until he heard a car engine stop in front of the apartment, and just as he thought - Oikawa was opening the door in two minutes time. He looked pretty bundled up for the cold weather, his cheeks red and puffed out a bit. </p><p>Tadashi smiled, he hadn’t seen Oikawa in a long time. </p><p>“Dashi chan!” Oikawa grinned, pulling him into a hug. “I can’t believe you’ve gotten yourself in trouble just two days after I’ve come back for the holidays, you must’ve really wanted to have a sleepover didn’t ya?” He teased, pulling away and taking a quick look at the boxes in the surrounding apartment. </p><p>Oikawa’s tone was teasing, but Tadashi could tell that he was worried for him, from their phone call an hour ago it was apparent that Oikawa was concerned - he could see it in the way the older man scanned the apartment with a frown too. </p><p>“I’m okay, really.” Tadashi chuckled nervously. “If I’m being honest, there’s…there’s been something else on my mind. I just needed some help moving…and a place to stay for the time being.” he added softly. </p><p>Oikawa grinned. “Well that’s what friends are for isn't it Dashi chan? Hajme is waiting in the car downstairs, we can talk about whatever’s on your mind with ice-cream yeah?” </p><p>Tadashi nodded and went to their bedroom, he had left a few boxes in there. Oikawa would take care of the living room. If this were a normal breakup, he’d be calling Yachi or Hinata. But if he called to tell them, word would definitely reach out to Tsukki about his mysterious break up with Terushima. </p><p>He didn’t want that right now. </p><p>So he called Oikawa. </p><p>They had started hanging out after bumping into each other one too many times at the local grocery store - Oikawa was there for midnight stress snacks and Tadashi because he didn’t know a thing about cooking. Eventually, they had become good friends. </p><p>If someone had told his high school self that he’d be friends with THE Oikawa Tooru in 2 years the he would have laughed at their face. Actually, Tadashi still couldn’t fully comprehend that he was the great king’s friend.<br/>
When Hinata found out he screamed, Kageyama refused to talk to him for an hour. </p><p>“I’m taking the first few boxes downstairs!” Oikawa yelled from the living room. </p><p>Tadashi nodded. “Yeah, you go I’ll be with you in a second.” </p><p>He took two boxes of clothes, properly packed with his name and what they contained neatly written in sharpie. He never thought he’d be handling a breakup so well, someone should give Tadashi a medal for this, really. </p><p>He hummed to himself as he carried the boxes out of the house, making his way to Iwaizumi san’s car. Even though he wasn’t as close to Oikawa’s husband, him and Tadashi were still on good terms with each other, and he was thankful that Iwaizumi was compromising on his vacation time with Oikawa just to let him crash in their guest bedroom. </p><p>They efficiently took all the boxes down to where iwaizumi was loading the car. The ride back was quick, and Iwaizumi said he’d help with the boxes later on in the day, which is how Tadashi and Oikawa ended up sprawled on the guest bedroom bed - tub of ice-cream and a bottle of wine between them. </p><p>“So you’re telling me?” Oikawa took a spoon of icecream. “That your grandma died and you broke up with your boyfriend, but you’re fine?” </p><p>Tadashi shook his head, snuggling into the blankets. “I…I am upset about those thing, of course I’m upset about breaking up with Terushima.” He turned so that he was facing Oikawa. “It’s just…there’s been a lot on my mind, I honestly didn’t think too much about Terushima - does that make me a bad person Oikawa?” He asked quickly. </p><p>Oikawa shrugged and handed Tadashi the tub of ice-cream. “Depends. In high school, I always handled breakups well, but that was only because I was never too invested in the relationship. But I know that if me and Hajme got a divorce I’d definitely…I’d definitely be distraught.” </p><p>Tadashi nodded thoughtfully, a spoonful of ice-cream in his mouth. </p><p>“So” Oikawa drawled out after a moment of silence. “What’s on your mind that’s been keeping you from grieving over Mr. tongue piercing?” </p><p>Tadashi slapped his arm. “Don’t talk like he’s dead.” He scolded. </p><p>All Oikawa did was roll his eyes and stared at Tadashi, urging him to go on with what was on his mind. </p><p>So that’s what he did. </p><p>He talked about the trip to the funeral, how he thought that maybe Tsukki wasn’t as mad as he thought he would be, and then the night before the actual ceremony, Tsukki holding him in his arms and letting him cry. Tadashi thought that maybe they were over the entire fight anyways - when they were in high school they never talked about their arguments, acting like everything was fine was a peace offering between the two. </p><p>And then the ride back. </p><p>Oh god that ride back was absolute hell. </p><p>He told Oikawa about how his and Tsukki’s conversation went from casual to serious, how they both made jabs at each other until Tadashi went too far, until Tsukki broke and they talked about the ‘incident’ for the first time in years - if you could even call what happened talking. There was screaming and then crying and then their conversation just suddenly ended. </p><p>Tadashi hadn’t realised that he was crying by the time he finished all of his story. </p><p>Oikawa was leaning on top of him now, an arm around Tadashi, letting him cry as much as he wanted to. Everything was coming back to him now, the guilt, the sadness, the anger of not being able to understand the situation earlier. </p><p>“Dashi chan, are you done now?” He asked when Tadashi’s cries finally settled down. </p><p>He nodded and rubbed his eyes. “Pass the wine.” </p><p>“So I was under the impression that you’re grieving the wrong person, huh?” Oikawa mumbled and Tadashi hit him again. </p><p>“No one’s dead!” </p><p>Oikawa just laughed and turned on his back. Tadashi couldn’t help but wonder how his and Iwaizumi’s relationship went by so smoothly. They had known each other forever too, but with Oikawa away in Argentina and Iwaizumi working with Japan’s team, how did they always seem so in sync - especially with their opposing personalities. </p><p>Didn’t they ever fight? </p><p>“Dashi chan…” Oikawa drawled out, earning his attention. “I know I’m supposed to be on your side…but glasses kun has every right to be angry with you.” </p><p>Tadashi blinked. “I know but…it’s hard for me too okay.” he jumped on the defensive. </p><p>“Yes yes, with everything going on right now, you’re more stressed than usual I know.” Oikawa took a quick break to take a swig of wine. “But look at it from glasses kun’s perspective for a second.” </p><p>He was sitting up now, and Tadashi was staring at him - Oikawa was better at understanding others than the average person. “He’s not someone who particularly cares about what others think of him right? But that just means that the handful of people he does care about - their opinions mean a lot extra to him.” </p><p>“And you, Dashi chan, you just made him realise that the people important to him can be shitty too. It’s even worse when the both of you were joined at the hip since elementary school.” Oikawa shrugged as if he hadn’t just dropped that bomb on Tadashi. </p><p>It was like everyday someone was telling him that he was a worse and worse person everyday. </p><p>“But it’s also his fault for being emotionally constipated.” Oikawa mused, seemingly lost in his own world. “Mixing a coming out and a confession into one thing isn’t something that you’d normally do. Of course you’d be taken aback by that…but it can just be a symptom of him being emotionally stunted.” </p><p>Tadashi nodded and looked up at the ceiling. He couldn’t even find it in him to laugh at how Oikawa called Tsukki ‘emotionally constipated.’ </p><p>“What do I do now?” </p><p>There was silence. </p><p>“You could start by apologising, Dashi chan.” Oikawa finally said. “Without crying of course.” </p><p>“A proper apology, sit him down and force him to listen to what you need to say.” He continued. “Don’t blame him, but tell him your side of the story, but don’t expect him to accept the apology straight away - I learnt that the hard way with Hajme.” He sighed. </p><p>Tadashi blinked sleepily. </p><p>Yes, he would have to apologise. </p><p>Today was Saturday. He would let himself mope around one more day, then starting Monday he’d try and find an apartment close to his college. Planning a proper apology would take a while, so if he really wanted to give Tsukki an apology that he deserved it would definitely take a while, maybe next week, maybe the week after? </p><p>He would call Tsukki to a bakery and buy him a cake - no. Would he feel more comfortable having this conversation in his own home? What if he wouldn’t let Tadashi into his house? What if he no longer liked strawberries? Of course he liked strawberries, Tsukki had a sweet tooth for as long as he could remember. But it’s been two whole years, anyone’s preferences could change in that time. What of he colossally messed up his apology and his only chance at getting his best friend back? </p><p>“Don’t think too hard while you’re drunk Dashi chan.” Oikawa’s voice made him raise an eyebrow, he sounded distant - but maybe it was the wine. He felt himself being tucked in bed, and then a pair of lips pressing onto his forehead. </p><p>“Trust me, glasses kun has soft spot for you, it’ll go well.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi it's the eighth chapter !! I'm sure you all have gotten used to my posting schedule now, I'll be following this unless anything happens since I'd probably burn out and abandon this pic if I update every other day (and we don't want that &lt;3).<br/>Also, I know that the number of chapters is 32 but this is a super duper slow burn (lol) and the chapters may increase of decrease depending on ideas that I may have.<br/>Lastly, lets talk about the chapter. I won't lie, I'm slightly disappointed since this isn't the best I've written but I guess we all have chapters that don't come out too well, but I just couldn't stop thinking about Oikawa  and Yamaguchi being friends. I was also worried that him breaking with Teru was too rushed or too bland but then again, Yams and Terushima were never the problem of conflict, so I guess that it's okay to show how Yamaguchi is still thinking about Tsukki at this time. Anyways I hope all of you enjoyed this chapter, I'll see you in 2021 !! :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Bagels and TakeOut</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cold water. </p><p>He needed the cold water or he was going to faint. </p><p>He couldn’t move. </p><p>He couldn’t breathe.</p><p>Kei was going insane.  </p><p>And just like that, all of a sudden he wasn’t splashing water on his face, he didn’t even notice. Kei was pushed back against the wall of the bathroom, and although he couldn’t see him as clearly, it was Kageyama.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Green. </p><p>Green. </p><p>Green. </p><p>Red. </p><p>Kei walked across street, not bothering to look at the cars stopped on either side of him, or the people walking around him. He didn’t feel the need to. </p><p>Today was Friday, 12 days since he’d seen Yamaguchi - but really, who was counting? </p><p>From Monday, he was back to his daily routine of going to his classes, and four times a week he’d be at volleyball practice. Today though, he ended up skipping practice and went to apply for a part time job at the local museum. The interview didn’t go bad but Kei wasn’t one to get his hopes up easily, and it wasn’t like he absolutely needed the job anyways - it would look good on his resume and would help Kei take his mind off things that were bothering him- specifically, a thing who went by the name of Yamaguchi Tadashi. </p><p>He couldn’t say he felt better after his outburst in the car, on the contrary it only made him feel weak and vulnerable in front of someone who wasn’t supposed to see that side of him. Yamaguchi seemed surprised though - and that just made Kei even angrier at him. How dare Yamaguchi act like he didn’t know what happened when clearly he was the one who broke Kei. </p><p>He handled it pretty well, only shut himself out for a day before forcing himself into his usual routine so that he wouldn’t have the time to think about Yamaguchi too much. </p><p>It was working well so far. </p><p>Today was Friday. And on Fridays, he would go home to Kageyama sitting on his couch with the television turned on and half eaten takeout on the table. </p><p>Sometimes he regretted giving Kageyama his extra key. </p><p>Although, he would say that giving Kageyama the key was better than leaving the key with Kuroo, Akaashi and definitely not Bokuto - although the three of them always did come to his house on Sunday evenings, claiming they need to take care of their ‘little crow’. </p><p>How did he end up getting adopted by the most careless people he knew? </p><p>Kei looked at his watch as he neared the bakery.</p><p>It was 7:45.</p><p>He would be home at 8, if he stopped at the bakery to buy something for breakfast tomorrow he would be home by 8:05. At home there was kageyama, who honestly didn't talk to him all that much but he was nice company. </p><p>He went inside the bakery. </p><p>Kei out a breath at the sudden warmth. His coat was getting too hot for him, but he’d only be here for a few minutes, there was no point taking it off. </p><p>Kei decided to buy himself a box of bagels for tomorrow and the other mornings next week, he ignored the little frog shaped treats that reminded him of Yamaguchi trying to catch frogs in the rain when they were children. </p><p>Stupid Yamaguchi, stupid memories. </p><p>Quickly, he paid the owner and left - his house was just a few minutes away now, but Kei was sure that he was close to frozen the second he exited the store. </p><p>Just a few more minutes, then he’d be safe in the warmth of his flat. </p><p>Music blaring in his ears, Kei started up the stairs. Living on the third floor of a complex without an elevator wasn’t something he looked forward to - especially on days when he had tough practices, but there was only so many demands he could make while apartment hunting on such a tight budget. </p><p>Forty five stairs up and he was at his floor. He walked twenty steps before turning right, he could’ve done it in seventeen steps if he took longer strides. <br/>He had the second flat on this corridor, his landlord knew Akiteru which made getting a flat with a nice and peaceful view much much easier. </p><p>“If everything’s settled, we’ll have you moved in a few days, is that right?” Kei heard a familiar voice - his landlord. </p><p>He was probably looking at possible tenants to either fill in the house across from him or next to him, they both had been recently emptied, Kei was thankful for the couple next door leaving - they were way too noisy, and always on the days when he was supposed to be studying for an exam. The lady down the hall though, she was kind of nice, unfortunately her job required her to move to a different part of the country.  </p><p>Kei took a breath and turned around the corner, fixing his hair and hoping that his new neighbour was someone tolerable. </p><p>He heard the other voice the second they both came into view. </p><p>“Of course, it’s kind of a rush so thank you, really!” He said. </p><p>Yamaguchi. </p><p>Yamaguchi said that. </p><p>He was standing there. </p><p>Right in the flesh, talking to his landlord. </p><p>Kei might have just vomited if it weren’t for the fact that his body practically shut down because of the sheer shock. </p><p>Before Kei could even wonder if he could somehow slip past both of them and enter his house, his landlord beckoned him over. “Yamaguchi san, this is your neighbour - Tsukishima san, I was hoping I’d catch you here.” He grinned and pat his back. </p><p>Kei nodded and kept his eyes on the ground, he didn’t want to look at Yamaguchi today. </p><p>“Yamaguchi san is moving into the house in front of yours, and since the both of you are the same age, I was hoping that you could help him get more accustomed to the place - not that there’s anything that needs getting accustomed to.” He quickly added. “Just show him around the area a bit yeah, Tsukishima san? The convenience store, the laundromat, things like that.” </p><p>Just like that, he stopped and looked at both of them, waiting for someone to say something. Kei looked up from the floor and let out a breath. Yamaguchi’s eyes were slightly puffy, his hair messier than usual - but other than that, he looked like his usual self. </p><p>Kei hated him for it. </p><p>Did he enjoy making his life a living hell with that stupid innocent smile on his face? Acting like he didn’t know how much he affected Kei. </p><p>“Of course Watanabe san, I’ll make sure to be a pleasant neighbour.” </p><p>Yamaguchi smiled cautiously at him and Tsukishima nodded again. He didn’t owe it to Yamaguchi to be friendly with him, him being polite was just enough. </p><p>Thankfully, Watanabe san started talking to Yamaguchi about rent, giving Kei the perfect opportunity to push open his door and enter the safety of his house. </p><p>He couldn’t tell whether his hands were shaking because of the cold or because of anger, if this were any normal Friday, Kei would have put his coat by the door and told Kageyama to take his feet off the coffee table. </p><p>But today wasn’t a normal Friday. </p><p>So Kei dropped his bag on the floor and stormed into the bathroom, not bothering to even acknowledge Kageyama. He slammed the door shut and turned on the tap on the sink. </p><p>Cold water. </p><p>He needed the cold water or he was going to faint. </p><p>He couldn’t move. </p><p>He couldn’t breathe.</p><p>Kei was going insane.  </p><p>And just like that, all of a sudden he wasn’t splashing water on his face, he didn’t even notice. Kei was pushed back against the wall of the bathroom, and although he couldn’t see him as clearly, it was Kageyama.</p><p>Kageyama was pushing kei down against the floor - wasn’t this supposed to be one of those weird grounding techniques? </p><p>His hands were pressed down on the cool tiles of the floor, but it wasn’t until a few minutes when he began to calm down, the man in front of him was starting to come into focus. </p><p>“Tsukishima what the hell was that?” He asked when kei had finally calmed down, slumping down against the wall. Kageyama was sitting across from him, not at all bothered that the bathroom floor were getting his jeans wet. </p><p>Instead of answering, Kei tucked his knees under his chin - he wanted to make himself smaller. “Yams…Yamaguchi is moving in next door.” He muttered, just loud enough for Kageyama to hear him. </p><p>“Shit.” </p><p>Kei nodded. </p><p>Shit. </p><p>They sat there in silence for a while, and Kei realised that this is why he liked having Kageyama around. If he were with any of their other friends, they would try to console him - talk to him. But with Kageyama’s lack of social knowledge, he just sat there - offering Kei quiet company. </p><p>Which is exactly what he needed right now. </p><p>They sat there for fifteen minutes, maybe half an hour before Kei stood up, Kageyama following suit shortly. </p><p>He couldn’t be thinking about this for so long, could he? </p><p>The television was still turned on - some weird sports drama that Hinata and Kageyama were strangely attached too, Kei couldn’t care less. </p><p>He went to the kitchen, Kageyama cautiously sat back down on the couch. </p><p>“If you want advice I think Kuroo san or Aka-“ </p><p>Kei poured himself a glass of water. “I know, I’m going to talk to them when they come over the day after tomorrow.” </p><p>There was silence. Kageyama cleared his throat. Kei looked at the scratch marks on his arm, when did they even get there? Was this why Kageyama was holding his hands down - restraining him? </p><p>“Is there anything I can do to help?” </p><p>Kei walked to the couch, sitting beside Kageyama and looking at the mess of takeout boxes. He nodded. “Tell me about your latest game, king.” </p><p>He needed a distraction. And Kageyama made the perfect one when he was talking about volleyball. He let himself forget for today, eat the greasy food and listen to Kageyama go on and on about spikes and blocks. </p><p>Then his phone buzzed - a text. </p><p>Yams: </p><p>[ I didn’t know you lived there, I swear.] </p><p>Then another one. </p><p>Yams: </p><p>[But I do want to talk to you, properly apologise.] </p><p>Kei put the phone back down, right now he had to focus on Kageyama speaking.</p><p> He’d reply tomorrow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy New Year Everyone !! </p><p>I know I usually post tomorrow but I'll be on the road and busy for a lot of next week, so I thought it would be better of I just posted today. The next chapter should be there next Sunday when I usually post however. </p><p>Honestly, this chapter was just a lot of me projecting onto Tsukishima. As much as I'm aware that these aren't healthy habits, to avoid my problems, I usually bury myself into a routine and if something unplanned happens I begin to get extremely mantic and anxious and since Tsukishima is a huge comfort character of mine, I project onto him A LOT. Unfortunately, we won't get a lot of interaction between Tsukishima and Yamaguchi for the next few chapters but this is a slow burn and no one's complaining so all for the plot (in this case character development), am I right? <br/>Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, remember to stay safe and I'll see you in around a week !! :D</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Red Bulls and Story Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He nodded, watching as Akaashi gently pried Bokuto off of him - he was grateful, Bokuto may be a great hugger, but he was also heavy. “Yamaguchi…he texted me yesterday, said he wanted to apologise.” </p><p>At this, Bokuto sits up, he stares at Kei with wide eyes. “What did you say? Did you say yes?” </p><p>Kei shakes his head, his body relaxing when Bokuto gets off. “I said…I told him I’d think about it.” </p><p>There’s a moment of silence, Kageyama is thinking, looking somewhere offscreen. Kuroo shifts a bit more, smiling at Kei. “I’m glad you could tell us Tsukki…and I hope you listen to Yamaguchi eventually.” </p><p>Akaashi nods. “You should hear him out, it’ll be healthy for you.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>DISCLAIMER: This chapter has implied/referenced sexual content</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei came out of the kitchen, beers in hand. Kuroo was still in there, going through all the cabinets for something to eat. Akaashi and Bokuto were sprawled out on the carpet after pushing away the small table he had in the living room. Just this weekend, Kageyama was here too - not physically but Kei decided to have him here on FaceTime just in case the three of them got too overwhelming. </p><p>He handed out the cans of beer to everyone in the room and sat down, keeping the laptop with Kageyama’s sleepy face on his lap. He’d wait for Kuroo to be here before telling everyone his problems, he had no intentions of repeating this more than once. </p><p>Kuroo came eventually, sitting next to Kei and easily joking around with Bokuto - somehow he managed to get Kageyama involved in the conversation as well, which was actually new for him. </p><p>Kei yawned and looked around the living room.</p><p>Bokuto was downing a can of red bull, a decision that everyone was going to regret in about fifteen minutes, and listening to Kuroo tell them all a business trip gone wrong. Akaashi was sitting on his lap, head resting on the space between Bokuto’s neck and shoulder. He was starting to get sleepy, Kei could tell. He wasn’t all too surprised, apparently things were getting really busy at the place Akaashi was interning at. </p><p>Kuroo was leaning back on the couch, looking as carefree as ever as he instantly caught everyone’s attention with his story - Kuroo had a knack of doing that, he was like a magnet. An extremely annoying magnet, but a magnet nonetheless. Kageyama’s little face on the screen was a mix between uncomfortable and interested in the story that Kuroo was narrating. Kei new well enough that Kageyama wasn’t exactly comfortable being here but came anyways for ‘emotional support’. </p><p>He was going to owe kageyama milk cartoons and rice cakes for a whole month. </p><p>Kuroo was getting to the interesting part of his story when Kei realised that the four people in this room were the only ones who he had come out to. </p><p>The realisation came suddenly, like it was someone slapping him. They were the only ones who he had come out to - the only ones who accepted him when he came out. And they were there for Kei when he came out again, just as nervous as he was the first time. Kuroo told him that it was okay to change labels (they were called labels for a reason, Kuroo had said that day), Kageyama had nodded and handed Kei a soda before looking back to the game (Kei realised that he particularly liked that he didn’t make a fuss out of it), Akaashi smiled softly and told Kei that he was valid and Bokuto tackled him to the ground when he came out, kissing his face and talking about how proud he was. </p><p>Yamaguchi ran. </p><p>He ran and told Kei that he could ne- </p><p>“Oi Tsukki.” Kei flinched at the fingers snapping dangerously close to his eyes. </p><p>Kuroo grinned, snapping his fingers a few more times for good measure. “You’re quieter than usual, and you’re not paying attention.” He said softly. “Anything on your mind?” </p><p>Kei wanted to say no, he was good at saying no and getting himself so wrapped up with his routines that he’s forget about his problems - or at least shove it so far back in his head that he only remembered it at night. But then he looked at Kageyama, who was looking at him expectedly, they had made a deal. </p><p>Kei nodded and leaned back into the couch, everyone was staring right at him now. “Remember Yamaguchi?” He breathed out, they all knew about Yamaguchi and how they weren't supposed to bring him up in conversations but they never pried, and Kei never really told anyone except Kageyama what happened. </p><p>Bokuto and Kuroo nodded, Akaashi leaned forward as if to show that all of his attention was on Kei. Kageyama was staring at him through the screen. </p><p>It was now or never. </p><p>Kei took a deep breath. He started his story from the beginning, from how he and Yamaguchi became friends. He had helped Yamaguchi from some bullies at school and before he knew it, there was a small green haired boy following him everywhere. He didn’t exactly mind it, Kei liked to listen, and Yamaguchi liked to talk. They’d sit together at lunch and Yamaguchi would tell Kei about the boardgames his father brought him. </p><p>Eventually they became closer. Kei started staying over at his house on Tuesdays and Thursdays because his parents came home from work late and Yamaguchi started coming over for playdates, his mother took a quick liking to Kei’s new found friend. Kei began opening up, telling Yamaguchi about Akiteru and dinosaurs and how sometimes he spoke to the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling. </p><p>Just like that, they went to middle school. Yamaguchi wasn’t with those bullies anymore - he was coming out of his shell but still preferred to stay by his side. Kei on the other hand was just shrinking into his. Akiteru’s game was in the first few days of middle school and since then, Yamaguchi seemed to be the only person that Kei could actually stand to be around before snapping. </p><p>He told them about their second year summer vacations, the day when everything changed. They were sitting in Kei’s bedroom floor, eating popsicles and playing a new video game Yamaguchi brought, screaming and pushing each other as much as they wanted because it was one of the few days that none of his family members were home. Yamaguchi was winning, and for fourteen year old Kei, the only upper hand he had over his best friend was physical strength. When Yamaguchi overtook him in a turn, Kei would shove his shoulder. When Yamaguchi stole the coins that kei needed, he’d push his body into the smaller boy’s. </p><p>And just like that, after a particularly unfair win for Yamaguchi, Kei threw his controller on the floor and jabbed his fingers into Yamaguchi’s side, effectively making him fall to the floor howling with laughter. Yamaguchi was pushing at kei’s face and Kai was practically sitting on Yamaguchi’s lap, ticking him until he couldn’t breathe. </p><p>Kei wasn’t sure what happened when Yamaguchi took a time out to breathe. Maybe it was the way light was falling in from the window that made Yamaguchi look so ethereal. Maybe it was because their faces were so close to each other. Maybe it was his mom was leaving all of her romance books around the house for Kei to read. Maybe it was a little bit of everything. </p><p>Kei kissed Yamaguchi. </p><p>He was sure that he was the one who leaned in first, but in that moment, it didn't matter - because Yamaguchi was kissing him back. Yamaguchi Tadashi was kissing him back. It was messy and rushed, and there was definitely too much teeth involved, but when kei pulled back, all he could think about was how beautiful Yamaguchi looked. </p><p>Yamaguchi rolled them over, and kissed Kei again. The music from their game was in the background - and honestly, neither of them knew what they were doing but they kissed, and they kissed again and again, until Kei heard the front door opening and his mom calling them both for dinner. </p><p>They didn’t speak about it for a week. </p><p>But when they did speak about it, they made rules. Decided on boundaries. </p><p>But boundaries were made to be pushed back. </p><p>Just kissing became fooling around with clothes on. Fooling around with clothes on became hand jobs in the school locker room. Locker room hand jobs eventually became bedroom fingering when no one was home. </p><p>They never went all the way though. </p><p>Until of course, that boundary was pushed back on the last day of their second year in high school - Yamaguchi was elected captain and they went to Kei’s house to celebrate with movies. </p><p>Boundaries between friends and lovers were always blurred between them, but they were just two guys fooling around, no feelings involved. </p><p>At least for Yamaguchi. </p><p>Kei on the other hand - he thinks he fell for his best friend in their first year of high school, or maybe he was in love all along but too stupid to realise it. Kei remembers it being an easy secret at first, he was the only one who could touch Yamaguchi behind closed walls, the only one who knew what he sounded like when he was coming undone - wouldn’t that be enough for him? </p><p>At first it was. </p><p>Until it wasn’t. </p><p>Kei wanted to hold Yamaguchi’s hand when it got cold outside, wanted to take him to the movies and buy him popcorn, to trace the freckles on his face and kiss him without any other reason than he could - after volleyball practice, when they were doing homework. He didn’t want their kisses to exclusively be for when they were about to fool around. </p><p>So he told Yamaguchi that.</p><p>After the graduation ceremony, behind the gym where they played volleyball. Kei felt like one of those lovesick girls from the dramas confessing to their crush, which in a way he was. But he knew that Yamaguchi was so much more than a crush to him, he was in love with Yamaguchi, he was sure of it. </p><p>Kei was sure that he’d say yes, after all who could do the things that Kei and Yamaguchi did together without liking the other person, Kei couldn’t even imagine kissing someone who he didn’t trust. </p><p>Yamaguchi could though. </p><p>He shook his head and balled his fists. He asked Kei why he had to ruin this in such a shaky voice that he almost apologised. He told Kei that he couldn’t think of being with someone like him, his words were rushed and he refused to look at Kei in the eye. </p><p>And then he ran. </p><p>Someone like him? Kei had been sure that Yamaguchi was into guys, he came out as bisexual to the entire volleyball team, didn’t he? Kei didn’t want to put a label on himself, he didn’t even tell his friends - they didn’t need to know his preference, but he always thought that Yamaguchi knew. Just like Kei knew everything about him. </p><p>If he was being honest, kei still didn’t know why Yamaguchi ran. He wasn’t demanding a relationship, all he wanted was to get it off his chest, so that him and Yamaguchi could remain friends. Was Yamaguchi just using him as a experience to think back on when he turns 30, a phase when he was in high school. </p><p>Kei would never know. </p><p>He didn’t realise that he finished talking until the silence in the room was broken because of Bokuto lunging at him, saying something that he couldn’t decipher. In a few quick seconds, kei had gone from sitting comfortably on the couch to underneath a crying Bokuto on the carpet. </p><p>“Bo…Bokuto get off.” Kei tried his best to pry him off. When did Bokuto get so muscular. </p><p>He tried a few more times, but eventually let Bokuto lay on top of him, if he was hugging him or trying to strangle him - Kei wasn’t too sure. </p><p>“And now he’s going to be moving right in front of you.” Akaashi wrapped up the story, seemingly unaffected by Bokuto tackling Kei to the ground. He leaned back against the table and looked at Kuroo, and then at Kageyama’s face on the screen. He had never really told the entire story to anyone, only every bits and pieces. </p><p>Kuroo leaned forward on the couch, looking down at Kei. </p><p>“So Tsukki…I know you’re obviously mad at freckles for what he did - heck, even I would have hated him for that, but you can’t be too ru-“ </p><p>Kei groaned, slamming the hand that Bokuto hadn’t squashed on the carpet. “That’s the point, I don’t think I can ever be mad at him.” </p><p>Kuroo nodded again - was he some sort of therapist all of a sudden? </p><p>“That’s fine too Tsukki.” He awkwardly pat his head. “When Kenma rejected me, I wasn’t mad at him. Upset a bit at first, but we’re still best friends.” </p><p>Kei shook his head. “No that’s different. Kenma said he wasn’t interested in dating anyone. Ever.” He made a point to emphasise those words. “What happened with Yamaguchi was worse.” </p><p>Akaashi hummed and moved so that he was sitting beside Kei. “What Kuroo is trying to say is that sometimes when we love people, we can’t hate them - even if we want to.” </p><p>He nodded, watching as Akaashi gently pried Bokuto off of him - he was grateful, Bokuto may be a great hugger, but he was also heavy. “Yamaguchi…he texted me yesterday, said he wanted to apologise.” </p><p>At this, Bokuto sits up, he stares at Kei with wide eyes. “What did you say? Did you say yes?” </p><p>Kei shakes his head, his body relaxing when Bokuto gets off. “I said…I told him I’d think about it.” </p><p>There’s a moment of silence, Kageyama is thinking, looking somewhere offscreen. Kuroo shifts a bit more, smiling at Kei. “I’m glad you could tell us Tsukki…and I hope you listen to Yamaguchi eventually.” </p><p>Akaashi nods. “You should hear him out, it’ll be healthy for you.” </p><p>Kei nodded. His head was still fuzzy, he couldn’t believe that he told them. He didn't feel lighter now, but he definitely felt better. These were people he trusted, Kuroo and Akaashi giving him advice, Bokuto with his head on Kei’s lap and the rest of him sprawled across Akaashi, and Kageyama - who hadn’t said too much after the story but a single glance through a screen was enough to know that whatever kei decided to do, Kageyama had his back. </p><p>“I’ll hear him out.” Kai decided after a long silence. </p><p>“But I’m not saying that I’ll forgive him.” </p><p>At this, Bokuto beamed at him. “That’s our little Tsukki, growing up.” </p><p>Kuroo wiped away a fake tear, Kageyama snickered and Akaashi gave everyone in the room one of his all knowing smiles. Suddenly Kei remembered why he didn’t want to let these guys in his apartment in the first place. </p><p>“I hate all of you.” Kei rolled his eyes, taking the game control that Kuroo pulled out from under the couch.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh boy, this was a long one. So, we finally know what exactly went down between the two !! I actually wrote this entire chapter in one go, I had this huge assignment due and after submitting it I had a lot of pent up energy so I accidentally wrote this in about 3 hours - so apologies if this isn't the best of my writing. I was also contemplating whether I should've added the 'friends with benefits' part to this story, but thought that without it the misunderstanding would be too childish, y'know? <br/>On another note, writing so much angst sometimes makes me Kida sad (lol) so I also wrote this really silly kagehina one shot to kind of nullify the effect, lets see if I like it enough to post. <br/>Lastly, thank you all so much for reading and leaving comments, I really hope you enjoy this chapter!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. MelonPans and Drinks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yachi would understand, wouldn’t she? She knew what it was like to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but she was also in the same boat as Tsukishima in this matter. </p><p>Before he could think too much on the matter, Yachi tapped on his shoulder, getting his attention. “Yams, where should I put this?” She held out a small pen drive, probably the size of his thumb - with absolutely no indication of what was in it. </p><p>Tadashi could recognise that pen drive even anywhere. </p><p>“I’ll take that.” He hoped he didn’t sound too eager as he put it in his pocket. “I think I should also go to that bakery, it’ll get too late otherwise.” He chuckled. </p><p>Yachi nodded, looking around the room. “Say Yamaguchi…you don’t have a lot of stuff y’know?”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hinata! You’re too short, let me do that.” Tadashi yelled, taking the box of cooking utensils to put in the higher kitchen cabinets to try and prevent his friend from falling off the stool. </p><p>Oikawa, Hinata and Yachi had all agreed to come help him move. It was a Wednesday evening and neither him nor Yachi had classes - Hinata’s practice ended a few hours ago and Oikawa was on vacation right now. </p><p>He really hoped that Tsukki wasn’t home, Hinata and Oikawa were pretty loud themselves, and Tsukki hated loud noises - especially when they were when he was trying to study. </p><p>“Freckles chan!” Oikawa peeked out of the bedroom, grinning at him. “Why don’t me and chibi chan take care of the living room, you can assort your clothes…I wouldn’t want to find something in there that I’m not supposed to.” </p><p>Tadashi blushed at what he said, rushing into the bedroom to assess what damage had already been done. </p><p>Thankfully, everything looked fine. </p><p>Yachi was putting a few of his course books on the small study table, the mattress was in, and there were a few posters on the wall - Oikawa hadn’t messed around with his stuff just yet. </p><p>“Sorry I couldn’t get you a moving in gift.” Yachi said after a few moments of working together in silence. “It’s just that you called us this morning, I didn’t have any time af-“ </p><p>Tadashi grinned, cutting through the tape on one of the boxes. “That’s alright Yachhan - honestly, I wasn’t expecting anything much.” </p><p>This box contained half of his clothes. “In fact, I should be the ones treating you three for coming here on such notice, no?” When Yachi didn’t reply, Yamaguchi continued. “After I’m done unpacking these clothes, I can run down to that bakery and get you guys some things, I’ve heard it’s really good!” </p><p>“If you insist, I could come wi-“ </p><p>Tadashi shook his head, “No no, you guys can relax, I’ll go myself.” </p><p>He got a hum in affirmation, and just like that - they were putting away things in a nice comfortable silence. He wondered if he should tell Yachi about Tsukishima living next doors, he didn’t say a word to Oikawa or Hinata - they would make a big fuss and that was exactly what Tsukishima didn’t want. </p><p>Yachi would understand, wouldn’t she? She knew what it was like to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but she was also in the same boat as Tsukishima in this matter. </p><p>Before he could think too much on the matter, Yachi tapped on his shoulder, getting his attention. “Yams, where should I put this?” She held out a small pen drive, probably the size of his thumb - with absolutely no indication of what was in it. </p><p>Tadashi could recognise that pen drive even anywhere. </p><p>“I’ll take that.” He hoped he didn’t sound too eager as he put it in his pocket. “I think I should also go to that bakery, it’ll get too late otherwise.” He chuckled. </p><p>Yachi nodded, looking around the room. “Say Yamaguchi…you don’t have a lot of stuff y’know?” </p><p>“Well I never really had much of my stuff when I moved in with Terushima, so I still only have a few things.” Tadashi wore his jacket, it was black and leather, with small studs on the shoulders - he bought it a year ago in a thrift store. “I guess now I can make this place somewhere more…me.” </p><p>Yachi grinned. “I Know! I can get you some posters from all the bands you like.” </p><p>Tadashi pulled on his boots. “That sounds pretty nice actually, I don’t want anything over the top, but the walls are pretty bare now that you mention it.” </p><p>He watched as Yachi bounced onto his bed and switched her phone on, scrolling through what Tadashi assumed to be clothing sites - or poster sites. Tadashi told Hinata and Oikawa - who weren’t doing what he was supposed to and instead were sitting on the bare floor and looking at a volleyball match, that he was going to the bakery nearby. </p><p>His apartment was pretty bare, he hadn’t brought any furniture or utensils from Terushima’s place and the only thing he orders to be pre-delivered to this dress was the bed, study table and a fridge. Mentally, he made a list of everything he needed. </p><p>Electric stove. Couch. Hangers for his closet. TV. Shelves. Table. Bedside Table. A rice cookers. Pots and pans. Lots of bedding. Silverware. A portable fan. A space heater. A rug. Things for storage space.</p><p>Probably a lot more things too. </p><p>The pen drive felt warm in his pocket, heavy too. Tsukishima gave it to him on their last day of school, before he confessed and everything went up in flames. He said that whenever his feelings towards Tadashi got overwhelming, he’d make a playlist and save it on the pendrive. He wanted Tadashi to know how he really felt. </p><p>He listened to it after he went home, breathless from running - he was crying and shaking, but the songs on the playlist made him feel safe, warm. </p><p>Tadashi always felt a bit guilty for listening to the playlist - dirty was a better way to word it, he felt like a middle schooler who would jerk off to an upperclassman and feel guilty about it afterwards. How could he listen to Tsukishima’s playlist - something so vulnerable, after he so cruelly rejected him? </p><p>He didn’t stop though. The songs on the playlist made him feel fuzzy and warm even on the worst of days, he didn’t share it with anyone else either, it was his little secret. </p><p>Pushing the door of the bakery open, Tadashi felt a shiver at the sudden change of temperature, it was so warm here. Usually, he’d want to spend some more time in his new surroundings, maybe explore a bit - but he had three hungry friends in his apartment, he needed food. </p><p>Milk bread and a rice omelet for Oikawa, Meat buns for Hinata, Curry breads for Yachi and Yakisoba pan for himself. Waiting for the owner to get his order ready, Tadashi looked around the shop, his eyes stopping at some small frog shaped treats. They reminded him of elementary school, what he’d give to go back to that time. </p><p>“Two melonpans please.” The voice next was formal and curt, not seeming too affected by the cold outside. </p><p>Tsukishima. </p><p>He was standing too close - not that he could stand anywhere else considering that the ordering counter was right next to Tadashi. Should he say hi? Should he ask about his day just like in high school? Did Tsukishima not want to talk to him right now- that is was his text said. </p><p>Tadashi stuffed his hands in his pocket and looked straight ahead of him, counting the amount of donuts on display and praying that his order would come fast. He felt Tsukishima glance at him - more like stare for a while, and Tadashi so badly wanted to say something. </p><p>He didn’t. </p><p>The man came back with a bag full of his food, and suddenly all that confidence that Tadashi was mustering up disappeared. </p><p>He took the bag and walked straight out of the shop, grateful that the cold air filling his lungs - the bakery was beginning to feel too warm and crowded all of a sudden. </p><p>Tadashi was sure that this was the fastest he’d walked in a while. He needed to get home, he still hadn’t thought about how to apologise to Tsukishima and honestly, Tadashi wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to act around him before that. </p><p>He never considered that he’d bump into Tsukishima - which was admittedly pretty stupid of him, but now he didn’t know what to do. All through his way home, the pen drive felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket, Tadashi knew he was going to listen to the songs when everyone left and he was home alone but right now he wanted to throw it onto the street. </p><p>“Yama kun!” Hinata was standing in front of his door as he climbed up the stair, waving his arms and eyeing the bags in his hands. “Get in, Oikawa found out how to work the heating system.” He seemed too excited, but Tadashi admittedly started walking faster at the mention of heat. </p><p>Dinner was quick, Oikawa was telling Hinata and him about Brazil and what all had changed since Hinata came back a month ago. Him and Yachi were cuddled close in the couch, alternating between listening to Oikawa’s story and messing around with the Tinder app on Yachi’s phone. </p><p>Everyone left at around 8 in the evening, Oikawa offering to drop Yachi and Hinata back to their own places. Tadashi was going to take out all the empty cardboard boxes and trash and then go back to sleep, god knew that he needed it. </p><p>He wore on an extra jacket and went outside with the folded boxes in his arms. It wasn't too dark just yet but that didn’t stop Tadashi from having a bit of a struggle down the stairs, half his vision was blocked. </p><p>“Yeah.” He could hear a soft voice - Tsukishima defiantly, but softer than he had ever heard him before. Was he talking on the phone? To family? A significant other maybe? </p><p>Whatever it was, Tadashi knew that he would be down talking to someone, so if Tadashi was quiet enough he could slip out without noticing. </p><p>“Don’t worry, I’ll be there.” Tsukishima was quiet for a few minutes, his back turned to Yamaguchi. </p><p>Then he fell. </p><p>It wasn’t too high, and Tadashi wasn’t hurt, but tripping on that stupid rock definitely caught Tsukishima’s attention. he watched as his old best friend turned to look down at him - a brief flash of anger in his eyes before he spoke into the phone again. </p><p>“I’ll call you back later Daichi san, but I’ll be there.” </p><p>Daichi? </p><p>Tadashi tried to hide the confusion on his face as he piled up all the boxes again. Why was Tsukishima talking to Daichi? Were they supposed to be going somewhere? Was Daichi planning something that needed Tsukishima? </p><p>He heard a sigh behind him, and suddenly all the boxes he was holding were lifted from his hands. “If you’re going to move boxes, at least know how much you can carry.” He mumbled, Tadashi scrambled to pick up the rest of the boxes. </p><p>“Thank you Tsukishima.” He mumbled. “But I can take the re-“ </p><p>“It’s pathetic, don’t you think?” </p><p>Tadashi tried to balance the boxes on his knees. “Huh?” </p><p>“I thought you would’ve changed over the years.” Tsukishima started walking out of their complex, towards the garbage disposal around the corner. “You look different, more confident too.” </p><p>With his free hand, Tadashi touched his ear piercings, he didn’t know where Tsukishima was going with this - all Tadashi did was become more comfortable with his own skin. “You seem so confident nowadays, and you said you wanted to smooth things over but you’re avoiding me.” </p><p>Tsukishima let into a small hum. “Kinda pathetic.” </p><p>Pathetic. </p><p>Oh. </p><p>For too many times in the past weeks Tadashi felt how everyone else at the end of Tsukishima’s comments felt. Some people were mean, but he knew that Tsukishima had the special talent of digging out everyone’s insecurities before crushing them. </p><p>He just never thought that he’s be on the receiving end of it. </p><p>Tadashi knew that what Tsukishima said was correct, he was doing a terrible job of getting on stable footing with Tsukishima but he couldn’t let him know. No, that would be admitting defeat and if there was one thing that Yamaguchi knew it was that giving up would get him no where. </p><p>“What were you talking to Daichi san about?” He asked, instead of letting it show how much Tsukishima’s words affected him. </p><p>If Tsukishima was expecting another answer, he sure as hell didn't show it. “He invited Karasuno to a casual dinner, apparently he called you too but you didn’t pick up.” He put the boxes down next to the huge garbage disposal. </p><p>Tadashi hadn’t got the chance to check his phone for the past few hours, so that was most likely true. He nodded and shoved the bags down the garbage disposal. </p><p>He took a step back and grinned at Tsukishima. That definitely took him by surprise, Tadashi could see the split second crack in his expression. </p><p>“Why don’t we share the ride since we live in the same complex?” He watched as Tsukishima blinked, staring at Tadashi for a good minute. </p><p>Then he started walking, leaving Tadashi on the street alone. “I’ll drive.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>New Chapter out woohoo! This was more of a filler chapter, but I'm happy to inform everyone that we'll get a lot more TsukkiYama interaction starting from here. There's plenty of drama coming up as well. <br/>I hoe everyone enjoyed this chapter, it was a bit of a challenge to write it tbh but I'm not too disappointed with the outcome. I also wanted to thank everyone who comments on these chapters, even hough I may not reply until a few days later, reading what everyone thinks of what I write even when you have no obligation to write a comment makes me so incredibly happy :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chicken Wings and Angry Tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve seen you and Tsukishima ever hang out before…after you graduated of course.” He added as an afterthought. </p><p>Curse Suga and his weirdly accurate observations. </p><p>“Did ya two have a fight?” Tanaka added. Tadashi froze up. </p><p>By now, the entire table was listening to their conversation, Tsukishima included. </p><p>“Of..of course not, we just kind of drifted.” He hoped that made enough sense. </p><p>Apparently it didn’t.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tadashi pocketed his phone and wallet before leaving his apartment. It had been a few days since he moved in, and he was proud to announce that there were significantly more pieces of furniture in his house, and there was even more coming in the delivery soon. </p><p>Tsukishima was already waiting, leaning against his own door and scrolling through his phone. He barely even looked up at Tadashi before walking down the stairs, eyes still focused on his phone. He was wearing a light green sweater and beige pants - he could see the white collar poking through his sweater. Tadashi looked down at himself, his black boots, black jeans, black denim jacket and grey t-shirt was the exact opposite of what Tsukishima was wearing. </p><p>Should he have worn something else? Was he drawing too much attention onto them? </p><p>“The weather is nice outside.” Tsukishima said suddenly, stopping him from overthinking his clothes. “Do you think we can walk, it’s only fifteen minutes away from here.” </p><p>Tadashi thought for a quick moment before nodding - and Tsukishima was walking at his torturously fast speed yet again. He walked behind Tsukishima, letting him lead the way to the diner, Tadashi barely knew anything about this side of town. </p><p>He was planning on apologising after their time at the diner. Tsukishima was sure to be in a relatively better mood after spending time with the team, and in the time walking back, Tadashi would stop by the local park and apologise to him properly. </p><p>Tadashi had to skip a little to keep up with Tsukishima’s pace, but true to his word - the walk was short, and they found themselves in front of the worn out looking diner in no time.” </p><p>“Yamaguchi! Tsukishima!” He could hear Daichi before he could see him, leaning from his seat so that he could see them. “I’m so glad you guys could make it.” </p><p>It was rare for the entirety of the Karasuno team to be in the same city for more than just a few days, so Daichi wanted to take this opportunity for a little reunion. Tadashi didn’t mind in the least, he did catch up with most of the first years, but seeing his seniors after so long made him feel a little better.</p><p>Tsukishima smiled and sat down in the seat between Nishinoya and Kageyama - they had pulled three tables together to somewhat simulate a cafeteria arrangement. “I wasn’t expecting you and Tsukki to walk together!” </p><p>Tadashi laughed and sat down next to Yachi. “We live close by, so it made sense.” He didn’t want to say to much otherwise he’d make Tsukishima uncomfortable. </p><p>Hinata didn’t seem to get the memo. </p><p>“Heh? Yamaguchi, why didn’t you tell us? We could have invited him over to-“ </p><p>Kageyama cut in. “When are we getting a menu?” </p><p>And just like that, him and Tsukishima living close by was forgotten and the conversation was focused on what everyone wanted to order. The diner had all kinds of cuisines, so everyone was huddled over the 3 menu’s and discussing what they would take. </p><p>“I’ll go give the orders.” Ennoshita san stood and pushed his chair back. </p><p>While waiting for the food, everyone started talking about Kageyama and Hinata’s volleyball careers, which had turned into Nishinoya telling everyone about his and Asahi’s latest trip to Sweden. The last time they all met - which was at Daichi and Suga san’s wedding, catching up as a huge group wasn’t really something that they all could do since there were other guests too. </p><p>“Tsukki, if you could travel wherever you wanted to, where would you go?” Nishinoya asked, turning in his seat and making sure everyone’s attention was Tsukishima. </p><p>He twitched. “Anywhere that doesn’t have you in it.” </p><p>Nishinoya grumbled and pinched Tsukishima’s arm. </p><p>“Fine.” His friend snapped. There wasn’t any venom in his voice. “I’d go to Greece.” </p><p>There was a silence before Tsukishima spoke again. “Has nice statues.” <br/>Tadashi smiled. He knew that Tsukishima would say Greece.</p><p>Just like that, the conversation switched to Narita’s love life - apparently he had just started dating someone from college. </p><p>Food came and then that conversation was forgotten as well. </p><p>Some things never changed. </p><p>Tsukishima looked slightly out of place, he had gotten closer to certain people in the team over the years but he was just…an awkward person in general. Tadashi could tell that he was listening to whatever Asahi was telling him over the plate of chicken wings - actually listening. Not the way he would just nod along to whatever Akiteru would say when they were younger. </p><p>Tsukishima was possibly the best listener he had ever known - he barely showed interest in most people, but Tsukishima was listening to everything. He remembers countless days when Tadashi would start rambling out of the blue - talking about anything and everything that came into mind. Tsukishima would nod and look at Tadashi from time to time. </p><p>Most of the times, he would even remember little details of the story for future reference. </p><p>“Say Yamaguchi?” Suga san was probably on his fourth drink from the way he was staring at Tadashi so intensely. </p><p>Tadashi nodded. “Yes?” </p><p>“Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve seen you and Tsukishima ever hang out before…after you graduated of course.” He added as an afterthought. </p><p>Curse Suga and his weirdly accurate observations. </p><p>“Did ya two have a fight?” Tanaka added. Tadashi froze up. </p><p>By now, the entire table was listening to their conversation, Tsukishima included. </p><p>“Of..of course not, we just kind of drifted.” He hoped that made enough sense. </p><p>Apparently it didn’t. </p><p>Tanaka had his arm slung around Tadashi now. “Now now, I have a feeling that wasn’t exactly the case.” He clicked his tongue, and Tadashi frantically looked around the table for any sort of assistance. </p><p>“Childhood friends don’t just ‘drift apart’” He continued. “Don’t be shy, you can always confide in your seniors whenever that meanie is giving you trouble.” Tanaka said this in a joking stage whisper, and Tadashi thought that they’d finally move on from the topic - he was clearly just trying to mess with Tadashi. </p><p>But Sugawara san wasn’t done. </p><p>“No but seriously.” He leaned forward. “You and Tsukki were so close in high school, I really wonder how bad the fight was that it made the both of you so distant?”</p><p>“Who said anything about a fight?” Tsukishima spoke up, his voice was surprisingly calm - Tadashi wondered if he was freaking out just as much. </p><p>Suga shrugged, turning and giving all of his attention to Tsukishima. “Well it was bound to happen one day, you were so mean back then, and Yamaguchi was always around you wasn’t he? It was about time that he got fed up from you - or maybe you pressed the wrong buttons.”</p><p>He shrugged and leaned back on his chair. </p><p>Tadashi was about to say how it wasn’t Tsukishima’s fault - and no matter how mean he was, it was never directed towards him. </p><p>“What makes you think it was my fault?” Tsukishima beat him to it. He sounded annoyed, and from the way Kageyama elbowed him lightly - it was about to get out of hand. </p><p>When did kageyama and Tsukishima get so close? </p><p>“No offence, but you were always the cruel one.” Suga looked around at everyone, he probably noticed how tense the entire situation was getting. “Well what happened in high school stays there, I’m just happy that you and Yamaguchi are starting to get along again, just don’t do whatever you did last time Tsukishima.” </p><p>Suga had obviously meant it as a joke, he clearly wanted the conversation to move onto a less intense topic. </p><p>But, oh god, did he just mess that up. </p><p>“How come you all just assume that I’m the one at fault?” Tsukishima’s voice was just a whisper - but cold, calculated. If no one had noticed how much the comment affected Tsukishima before, they were sure to notice it by now. </p><p>No one answered him. Kageyama put a hand on Tsukishima’s shoulder. </p><p>“What if Yamaguchi was the one who hurt me, huh?” He was getting louder, and Tadashi sunk deeper into his seat. The only people who knew about what had gone down between them both were Oikawa and maybe Kageyama - the rest of the team assumed that time had caused them to drift apart. </p><p>Sugawara chuckled softly. “Well of course that’s also a possibility Tsukishima kun, I was ju-“ </p><p>“Because Sugawara san, I may be mean and cold - and sometimes an asshole.” His voice cracked and suddenly everything was so much worse - Tsukishima was close to crying. </p><p>“But one thing that I’m not”-Suga stood up-“is cruel.”</p><p>Tsukishima took a deep breath, there were tears in his eyes. He was staring right at Tadashi now.</p><p>“Especially to the people I love.” </p><p>“Tsukishima I didn’t mean t-“ </p><p>But Tsukishima didn’t listen to what Suga had to say to him, he was already struggling against Kageyama’s halfhearted grip to get out of the dinner. Tadashi could feel his cheeks burning, and tears starting to fall. He could feel how the team was torn between staring an Tsukishima or Yamaguchi. </p><p>He felt frozen in place. </p><p>“I - I’ll go talk to him.” Tadashi said finally, when he saw Kageyama angrily getting up fro this seat in order to chase after Tsukishima - who was long gone by now. </p><p>The team looked at him like he’d just confessed to a murder. </p><p>Kageyama snorted. “No offence, but you’re probably the last person he wants to see right now.” </p><p>Tadashi knew this was true, but he needed to talk to him, needed to to know if Tsukishima was okay. He needed to apologise. </p><p>“Yama knows Tsukki better than anyone else.” Hinata piped up, glaring at his boyfriend. In the past, they had agreed to not let Yamaguchi and Tsukishima’s relationship affect their own, but Tadashi was sure he just saw murder in Kageyama’s eyes. </p><p>“Maybe in high school, but Tsukki’s changed.” Kageyama said this with a pointed glare at Tadashi. </p><p>He let out a shaky breath, everyone was staring at him now, just waiting for him to say something. </p><p>“Kageyama, please just listen.” He let out a shaky breath. “I know - I know I don’t deserve to want to talk to Tsukki after what happened between us, but I need to apologise.” </p><p>Kageyama didn’t look the least bit convinced. </p><p>“If he still doesn't doesn’t want to talk to me, I won’t bother him again - I promise.” </p><p>Kageyama paused. </p><p>“Please?” </p><p>Tadashi could feel his heart beating in his ears, he could feel everyone’s eyes on them both. </p><p>Kageyama let out a sigh. </p><p>“Don’t mess this up, okay Yamaguchi?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys, I hope you all are having a wonderful day! <br/>At this point I should probably rename the story something along the lines of 'someone please give tsukki a big hug and pay for his therapy' BUT as much as I love angst, this is probably going to be the last chapter of outright angst, the next chapter will definitely have an apology :) <br/>I'm not sure if I've dragged the angst for too long but oh well, I like it. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter (dw, happier times with these two WILL come) and see you next week! </p><p>Remember to stay safe :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Apologies and Curry Udon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He shook his head, bringing the blanket closer to him. “I’m fine…you can talk.” </p><p>“I know that apologising won’t just make back to normal, but I really want you to know that I’m genuinely sorry about -“ There was a sharp pause “-well about everything. It was real shitty of me to just leave without any explanation, I was being selfish and only thinking of myself.” </p><p>Was that it? </p><p>Kei looked at Yamaguchi - he was taking a deep breath. “Honestly, I was so afraid, but I didn’t know that you…that you thought that I thought lesser of you because you’re gay, I swear I didn’t -“ </p><p>“Are you going to explain yourself?” Kei cut him off, Yamaguchi was rambling too much. </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded frantically. “You know Tsukki, I was in love with you too? Ever since we were kids.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei was shaking. </p><p>He was shaking and crying and he couldn’t stop scratching at his skin. Why didn’t he just ignore Suga san? Comments about him never bothered him so much in the past. Why did he have to go on and ruin what was supposed to be a fun dinner? Couldn’t he just keep his mouth shut for once? Now everyone hated him. </p><p>Kei’s panic attacks were getting better over the past few years - that didn’t mean that they were completely gone though. He scratched at his arms, he was too hot and there were too many things touching him, too many sounds, too much of everything. </p><p>He didn’t know if he was crying - Kei was pretty sure that he was, but it was so hard to breath. It was like someone was pressing down on his throat, pulling him in and taking away all the air around him. Kei was sure he was going to die. He was going to die and no one was going to find out because he was alon- </p><p>“Tsukki!” He heard a knock, three knocks - maybe four. </p><p>“Tsukki I know you’re in there, you left the door unlocked.” Kei stared at the door. Yamaguchi was on the other side, did he want to yell at him for making a scene? Was he going to see Kei looking so pathetic and leave? </p><p>No, he had to clean up first, wash his face, make sure no one could tell that he was crying. Kei tried to stand, his hands pressing into the couch for some sort of support before he fell back onto the couch. </p><p>“Tsukki I can hear you crying, I’m coming in, alright?” </p><p>No, no. He couldn’t let Yamaguchi see him like this. He couldn’t let anyone see him like this. He needed to get to the bathroom and hide in there for a while. </p><p>He heard the door open, Yamaguchi was already inside. </p><p>He couldn't focus on his face, Kei was dizzy and he needed to stare at the plant in his room to ground of himself. </p><p>“Tsukki!” He heard a shrill voice and then a lot of shuffling until a pair of hands were gently prying Kei’s hands from his face. “Tsukki should I get you some water? You’re shivering, I’ll get you a blanket.” </p><p>Kei could tell that Yamaguchi was starting to panic, his voice was higher and he was rambling. He didn’t want Yamaguchi to start panicking but he was still crying and shaking himself, not exactly good help. </p><p>He felt Yamaguchi leave his side before there was a weight over his shoulders - a blanket. </p><p>Maybe a few minutes had passed, maybe a few hours. </p><p>Kei wasn’t too sure. </p><p>When he finally calmed down though, Yamaguchi was sitting on the other side of the table, a glass of water kept close to Kei. </p><p>“Thanks.” Kei sniffled, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He felt disgusting. He wanted a bath as soon as possible. </p><p>Yamaguchi smiled cautiously. “Are you feeling a little better?” </p><p>Kei nodded. He could be feeling much more better if Yamaguchi hadn’t come after him, but it’s not like he was going to say that. </p><p>“I actually thought that I’d properly apologise to you today - it’s the least I can do.” Kei noticed that he was playing with fingers, an old habit that Yamaguchi couldn’t seem to shake off. “But, if you’re not feeling up to it, I could come back tomorrow you know?” </p><p>He shook his head, bringing the blanket closer to him. “I’m fine…you can talk.” </p><p>“I know that apologising won’t just make back to normal, but I really want you to know that I’m genuinely sorry about -“ There was a sharp pause “-well about everything. It was real shitty of me to just leave without any explanation, I was being selfish and only thinking of myself.” </p><p>Was that it? </p><p>Kei looked at Yamaguchi - he was taking a deep breath. “Honestly, I was so afraid, but I didn’t know that you…that you thought that I thought lesser of you because you’re gay, I swear I didn’t -“ </p><p>“Are you going to explain yourself?” Kei cut him off, Yamaguchi was rambling too much. </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded frantically. “You know Tsukki, I was in love with you too? Ever since we were kids.” </p><p>“How the fuck does that make anything better Yamaguchi?” He sounded furious - in his defence, he was in fact furious. “Do you think that just dropping that bomb out of the blue will make me forgive you? If you-“ </p><p>“Tsukki let me finish.” </p><p>Kei quieted down, Yamaguchi sounded stern. </p><p>“I want to tell you why I said that I couldn’t be with you - it sounds like a stupid reason now but at the time it made sense, it really did.” Kei sat forward at this, he didn’t want to see too eager - but he was about to find out the answer of his 2 year old question - who wouldn’t be intrigued?</p><p>“I came out to everyone during second year Tsukki, and you were in the closet.” That was it? His best friend didn't speak to him for 2 whole years because Kei wasn’t out yet? “Tsukki I know it makes me seem like a piece of shit but you gotta understand that I had been hiding my entire life, and I finally got to be who I really wanted to when I was in Karasuno.” </p><p>Yamaguchi took a pause. “And when you confessed to me, I realised that if we started dating then - then I’d have to keep that entire relationship a secret - I’d have to start hiding again, and I just couldn’t do that Tsukki - not being with you was better than going back to hiding away from everyone.” </p><p>He was rambling again now, but Kei let him. </p><p>Anything was better than the two years of radio silence. “I know that’s not a good enough excuse - and you shouldn’t be pressured into coming out when you don’t want to but the thought of doing anything that made me feel like my middle school self was terrifying for me.” Yamaguchi let out a breathless chuckle before continuing. </p><p>“And I know that I should have told you why - it was wrong of me to just run, not after you were so vulnerable with me, it was wrong of me to completely ignore you just because I was scared of confronting you and I know that me apologising wont magically make everything alright between us, it definitely won’t make what I did any less horrible, but I really hope you accept my apology Tsukki - if you let me I promise to be a better friend.” </p><p>Kei opened his mouth, then closed it. He opened his mouth again. Then closed it. </p><p>Then he sobbed. </p><p>It wasn’t a soft whimper, or something he could easily brush off. Tsukishima Kei was sobbing, tears snot and all. “Do you know…do you know how hard it was Tadashi?” He whimpered, and Yamaguchi stared right at him - unblinking. </p><p>“I thought…” kei gulped. “I thought you were just using me - that I’d just become a phase that you grew out of - and then, and then I knew it was true, because you left without any explanation - I thought you left because I was gay.” He sputtered, flinching when Yamaguchi sat beside him. “And do you know how it felt when Kageyama told me you were with Terushima? That you rejected me because I was gay and then fall into his open arms?” </p><p>Yamaguchi wrapped an arm around Kei, trying his best to provide comfort. </p><p>What he didn’t tell Yamaguchi was how he would go through all that again if it meant that he could be with Yamaguchi for even just a day - Kei was weak like that, so pathetic. </p><p>Yamaguchi didn’t need to know that. </p><p>He sat there in silence, waiting for himself to stop shaking before he said something. Kei would probably never be able to tell Yamaguchi how much hurt he caused him, he had come to terms with that months ago. He was never good with words, so he was just going to forgive Yamaguchi - he sounded sincere enough, and as much Kei hated to admit it, a part of him understood where Yamaguchi was coming from. </p><p>“Just because I forgive you doesn’t mean we’re best buds, you know that right?” Kei muttered, standing from the couch with the blanket still wrapped tightly around his shoulders. </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded behind him, Kei could practically feel the grin on his face burning into his back. “Oh Tsukki we have so much to catch up on, dontcha agree? We can go to that new movie theatre that opened up, and now we can have an actual meeting with the rest of the first years, I need to tell you so much Tsukki I’m so gl-“ </p><p>“What, did you forget what I just told you?” Kei snorted, scanning his kitchen. “You need to be more patient.” </p><p>That seemed to quiet Yamaguchi down. </p><p>When they had fights as teenagers, they always made a food offering to each other as a form of an apology, it was an unspoken rule between them. It could be as simple as buying the other a popsicle after school, or in some cases an offer to share their bentos in school. Whatever it was, it was supposed to be a sign of truce. </p><p>Kei wondered if Yamaguchi still remembered. </p><p>“You missed dinner to come after me.” Kei commented, looking through his fridge for something to eat. </p><p>He heard footsteps, Yamaguchi was probably in the kitchen. “Well, you missed dinner too.” </p><p>Kei hummed, making a mental list of things he had to do today. Lists made him feel calm, they provided him control, they gave Kei a routine. </p><p>“I have the ingredients for curry udon.” </p><p>Yamaguchi stopped whatever he was saying behind him, when Kei turned around - Yamaguchi was grinning, eyes wide and full of tears. </p><p>He nodded eagerly. “I uh…I have some onigiri leftovers in my apartment I could - I could go and get some, Tsukki.” </p><p>Kei nodded, already taking out the noodles. “Sure, I need to call Suga and text Kageyama anyways, so take your time.” </p><p>“Yes Tsukki!” </p><p>Kei smiled, just a bit. </p><p>Yamaguchi remembered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys, I hope everyone is having a lovely day! First off, I'd like to apologise for any possible errors in this chapter or maybe just the general vibe of it feeling a bit off. My own relationship has recently come to an pretty unhealthy end (funnily enough I can compare it to suck because they just suddenly disappeared/blocked me everywhere without any explanation :D) and I honestly writing this, alongside school and relationship issues was pretty taxing. <br/>Next, I know that this isn't a very dramatic apology like some of you were hoping for, but I kinda wanted to make this as realistic as possible (ignore the part where it's literally a story about fictional people lmao). I'd also like to clarify that although Tsukki says he forgives Yams, he still needs time to open up to Yams again but this was a first step &lt;3</p><p>I hope you enjoyed, thank you for the comments and have an amazing week ahead, see you then !!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Coffee Buns and new beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Before Yamaguchi could say something, Kei pushed his cup of milk towards him. “Anyways.” He coughed. “I needed to talk to you about something.” </p><p>Yamaguchi raise at eyebrow. </p><p>“Whatever you’re trying to do here, Yamaguchi - you need to stop.” <br/>“Huh?” Yamaguchi seemed confused, maybe even a little annoyed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei pinched the bridge of his nose, leaning back on the couch He was working on a reading for one of his classes - with a movie playing on the television for some kind of background noise. It was an apocalypse movie which Kei had seen multiple times but all he needed right now was white noise, he wasn’t too picky. </p><p>The only class he had today was later in the evening and his museum shift got cancelled so he could spend a few extra hours at home finishing up on things that he needed to get done. </p><p>In reality, Kei knew he was probably overworking himself  but he was trying his best not to think about what Yamaguchi had said too much. He had been forgiven but Kei couldn’t stop thinking about the implications of his words that day. </p><p>What did he mean that he had a crush on kei as well? Did that mean that he stood a chance but ruined it because he couldn't face coming out? Did Yamaguchi still like him in that way? Where did they both stand right now? </p><p>Completing his readings seemed easier than thinking about those questions for more that fifteen seconds at a time. </p><p>He turned the page just as his doorbell rung - Yamaguchi. </p><p>he made it a point to check up on Kei on the usual - and although he didn't exactly mind it, taking his mind off of Yamaguchi wasn’t exactly easy to do when he was right in front of him. </p><p>“Did I come at a bad time?” he asked when Kei opened the door. Yamaguchi had a cloth shoulder bag in his hand so he was probably either coming back from somewhere or on his way out. </p><p>Kei shook his head and moved aside to let him in. “I was just finishing up a reading for a class.” </p><p>Yamaguchi slid off his shoes and walked inside - Kei remembered how he would always have conversation with his mom and brother before going up to Kei’s room - now he was sitting on the far end of the couch like a fish out of water. </p><p>“What’s that smell Tsukki?” He asked after a few minutes of awkward silence. </p><p>Kei sat down and paused the television. “I’m baking coffee buns for later.” </p><p>He watched as Yamaguchi’s face lit up. “Really Tsukki? I remember you baking a lot when we were in school, honestly Hinata and I placed a bet on you becoming a pastry chef.” </p><p>“Pastry chef, huh?” Kei felt his mouth twitch at that, he wondered if his friends had any other bets placed on Kei. </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded excitedly, “Yeah, we also bet on whether Kageyama would confess or Hinata, you and Kags never really joined us.” </p><p>That was true, while Yachi, Hinata and Yamaguchi were goofing around during lunch breaks, Tsukishima and Kageyama would be eating in silence, occasionally finishing up on homework. Kei wondered if things would be different if he participated in those nonsense conversations back instead of just listening like an outsider. </p><p>“Is there anything you needed?” he asked instead, scanning the pages of his reading and hoping that Yamaguchi would get the message that kei wasn’t in the mood to talk right now. </p><p>Yamaguchi shook his head. “Not really, I got kinda lonely studying in my apartment so I thought I’d see if you were here - I won’t be a bother I promise, just thought some company would be nice.” </p><p>Kei hummed, picking up his reading where he left off and let Yamaguchi make himself comfortable - start taking out his laptop and notebooks. Kei knew he was being petty, Yamaguchi had obviously expected that he would start up a conversation in a little while, he was doing that a lot lately - trying his best to make their friendship just as it had been in high school even though Kei wasn’t making it easy. </p><p>Yamaguchi was stubborn like that. </p><p>But so was Kei. </p><p>They studied in silence for a while - Kei was almost done with the reading. Whatever they had going on, it was nothing like what they had in high school. In the past they could spend hours and hours in complete silence and it still wouldn’t feel wrong, but nowadays, even a few minutes of silence seemed to weigh between them. </p><p>Kei’s underlying urge to stare at Yamaguchi every 5 minutes wasn’t’t helping the tension either. </p><p>His friend had changed so much during the years, and now that they had decided to put the past behind them, he just needed to drink him all up. </p><p>He wanted to see how messy Yamaguchi’s hair could get, he wanted to see him putting his piercings back on after waking up - he wanted to be the hand Yamaguchi held while getting his tattoos done. Yamaguchi was more firm in his words but you could hear the underlying doubt if you listened close enough. His decisions were less rash, but he seemed more comfortable with making last minute plans. It was like Yamaguchi was a new person now, and Kei wasn’t sure if that fact scared him or gave him comfort. </p><p>The oven timer forced Kei out of his thoughts, he scrambled to the kitchen and opened the oven - the coffee buns were ready, their strong scent probably carrying through the entire apartment. </p><p>He kept the six buns on the cooling rack with care, he would save two for when Kageyama came over tomorrow for his weekly kitchen raid, but the rest of them he’d have whenever he felt like. “Hey Yamaguchi, come here a second.” He called into the hall, waiting exactly 7 seconds before Yamaguchi came bounding into the kitchen like a puppy going on a walk. </p><p>“Take one while they’re still warm.” He motioned lazily at the coffee buns before opening his fridge and pulling out a cartoon. “They go really well with milk, want some?” </p><p>Yamaguchi snorted, but he already had a bun in his hands. “Kageyama must be rubbing off on you, isn't it Tsukki.” </p><p>Kei rolled his eyes and poured out two little cups of milk. “As if, if anything, Kageyama’s gotten into reading.” </p><p>Before Yamaguchi could say something, Kei pushed his cup of milk towards him. “Anyways.” He coughed. “I needed to talk to you about something.” </p><p>Yamaguchi raise at eyebrow. </p><p>“Whatever you’re trying to do here, Yamaguchi - you need to stop.” <br/>“Huh?” Yamaguchi seemed confused, maybe even a little annoyed. </p><p>Kei took a bite of bread. “We’re both different people now, we’ve changed through the years. Trying to make things go back to way we were in high school won’s work because we aren't who we were in highschool, you need to understand that for this to work.” </p><p>“What makes you think that’s what I’m doing.” The flush on Yamaguchi’s cheeks was all the evidence Kei needed. </p><p>He opted to raise an eyebrow instead, counting down the seconds until Yamaguchi would eventually admit to doing that. </p><p>It took roughly four seconds. </p><p>Yamaguchi whined. “It’s not fair, I thought it would make this easier.” </p><p>“We’ve both decided to put what happened in high school behind us right now, haven’t we?” Kei asked before dipping his bread into the milk. </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded, mumbling a small “As much as we can put behind us.” under his breath. </p><p>“I just think that it would be better for the both of us, if instead of trying to recreate our past memories, we just create new ones.” Kei said with a shrug. “You aren’t the same shy nervous wreck you were in high school - and I’m pretty sure I’ve changed too, even if it’s a little bit.” </p><p>At that, Yamaguchi self consciously traced the little flower tattoo on the skin between his index finger and thumb. </p><p>Kei wondered how many more tattoos he had. </p><p>“So, what I mean to say is we should start afresh.” Kei took a deep breath. “And I mean actually starting afresh.” </p><p>Yamaguchi hummed, he was looking at the kitchen counter, Kei couldn’t make out the expression he held. </p><p>“You’ve changed a lot Tsukki.” He said finally. “It’s like I barely know you.” </p><p>Kei took a bite from his coffee bun. “I could say the same about you too.” </p><p>He hummed again before looking at Kei, his eyes had the same look on them as they did years ago whenever it was Yamaguchi’s turn to decide where to go for their study session and Kei’s heart beat a little too loud in his chest. </p><p>“We could go somewhere, like a friendly date so that we can catch up!” </p><p>Kei thought for a moment. He had always wanted to take Yamaguchi on a date. He wanted to buy him flowers and open his door when they got into the car and pull out a chair for him and offer to pay the bill. </p><p>More than that though, Kei was petty. </p><p>“I’m going grocery shopping in a few days, you could join me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What if I turn this into a Tsukishima x Kageyama fan fiction, then what ? Okay, that was a joke but This week post break up me thought of 4 hospital au's which end up in either death or breakups and honestly, I'm considering writing them? Anyways, Tsukki seems a little on guard with Yams, but at least we're making progress, amiright? I hope you all enjoyed this chapter (I've come to realise that I'm not the best at writing things that aren't angst) and have a great week !!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Mustard Sauce and Tears</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Have you thought about a new job yet?” Tsukki asked after he mentioned that he had to leave his part time job as a cashier when he moved here. A small part of him wanted to tease him for asking questions about Tadashi when he acted like he didn’t care at the same time but that would probably give the opposite effect and make Tsukki close up on him again.</p><p>“Well I’ve gotten an interview at this customer service place but that’s for next week.” He followed Tsukki through the different aisles, “It’s kind of a pain trying to find a job that accepts people with tattoos and stuff.” </p><p>Tsukki clicked his tongue. “It’s not like your tattoos are going to affect how well you are over the phone.” He sounded like his usual cynical self. “That being said, imagining you in customer service is a whole rollercoaster in itself.” </p><p>Yup, definitely his usual cynical self.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Your shoelaces are untied.” </p><p>That was all Tadashi got as a greeting from Tsukki but he didn’t mind - it was better than him refusing to look in his direction unless he needed to. “Thanks Tsukki, just wait - let me tie them real quick.” </p><p>He couldn’t believe that he let himself get so worked up for going grocery shopping with Tsukki. His nerves were worse than they had been on his first date with Terushima - Tadashi came to the conclusion that it was because he was finally making progress, this was the first time Tsukki initiated hanging out and Tadashi wasn’t going to fuck it up. </p><p>“Do you always go to the grocery store on Saturdays?” He easily fell into step with Tsukki, Tadashi learnt that he liked walking everywhere instead of taking the car. </p><p>Tsukki hummed, pushing his headphones down. “Yeah.” He said. “It’s a part of my routine.” </p><p>His routine. </p><p>Tadashi was well aware of the routine Tsukki followed. He would have his day meticulously planned and and put in order, it was something that made him feel more in control - Tadashi wasn’t sure what it was that Tsukki felt in control about. Despite not really getting it, he had learnt to adjust around to Tsukki’s routine all the way back in middle school, and when Daichi would invite the entire team to a last minute team-bonding exercising that would leave Tsukki all overwhelmed and disorientated - he was the one would help him calm down. </p><p>Tsukki had once cried because he couldn’t follow the comfort of his routine, Tadashi remembers rocking them back to sleep that night. </p><p>They didn’t talk about that ever again. </p><p>Tadashi wondered if routines still played such an important role in his life. He wondered if Kei still stirred his tea exactly 8 times before taking a sip. He wondered if he still kept little rocks and receipts in his coat pockets, if he liked waking up before the sun just to hear the sounds of birds. </p><p>“Tsukki, what was the last movie you saw?” He asked instead, he’d find out what Tsukki had in his pockets some other day. </p><p>They turned around the corner. “I think it was the social network.” </p><p>“Really? Was it interesting?” </p><p>They were just in front of the grocery store now. </p><p>“Yeah, I don’t think it would be something you’d enjoy though.” He explained, taking a basket for himself before giving the other one to Tadashi. </p><p>He didn’t even need to buy anything, Tadashi just came here to talk to Tsukki. </p><p>“I usually start at the dairy aisle…if that’s fine by you.” Tsukki mumbled, sometimes he forgot that not everyone liked doing things in a specific order. </p><p>Tadashi grinned. “Of course Tsukki, lead the way.” </p><p>Tsukki told Tadashi about his classes as they looked for milk and cheese - so in turn, Tadashi talked about how he ended up living with Tanaka and Nishinoya for a few months right after high school. </p><p>“Is that why…” Tsukki motioned vaguely at him before turning to the frozen foods. Tadashi understood what he meant though, his tattoos and piercings usually surprised a lot of people at first. </p><p>Tadashi chuckled and shook his head. “No no, they didn’t force me to get tattoos, these are just things that I’ve kind of always wanted you know?” </p><p>“That’s not what I meant.” Tsukki picked out a packet of frozen shrimp. “You’re personality’s changed, you’re more confident…did that come from living with those two?” </p><p>“Well that was a part of it definitely.” Tadashi chuckled and looked at the assortment of ice-cream - did he need anything from here? “Once you live with those two, you’ll learn how to fend for yourself in just a week.” </p><p>His comment earned him an amused snort from Tsukki and as small it was, Tadashi counted it as a little win. He starts talking about how he ended up living with Oikawa for two weeks and then with Terushima and finally right beside Tsukki as he looked at the collection of ice-cream. He already has a tub at home but he was looking for the black current flavour - that was the flavour that Tsukki always took when they were younger. </p><p>“Ha!” He exclaimed, stopping his story mid sentence to grab a small tub of black current. “Look Tsukki, you like black current, don’t you?” </p><p>Tsukki smiled - a proper one this time - and muttered a little “Thanks” and let Tadashi toss the tub into his basket. They didn’t say another word of it, but Tadashi gave himself a pat on his back, he remembered Tsukki’s favourite ice-cream flavour. </p><p>“Have you thought about a new job yet?” Tsukki asked after he mentioned that he had to leave his part time job as a cashier when he moved here. A small part of him wanted to tease him for asking questions about Tadashi when he acted like he didn’t care at the same time but that would probably give the opposite effect and make Tsukki close up on him again.</p><p>“Well I’ve gotten an interview at this customer service place but that’s for next week.” He followed Tsukki through the different aisles, “It’s kind of a pain trying to find a job that accepts people with tattoos and stuff.” </p><p>Tsukki clicked his tongue. “It’s not like your tattoos are going to affect how well you are over the phone.” He sounded like his usual cynical self. “That being said, imagining you in customer service is a whole rollercoaster in itself.” </p><p>Yup, definitely his usual cynical self. </p><p>Tadashi huffed but opted to watch Tsukki look through a selection of different sauces instead of responding to that jab. Tadashi watched as his eyes narrowed in concentration, it was easier to look at Tsukki’s eyes now that he was wearing contact - not that he was looking at his eyes an awful lot anyways. </p><p>“What kind of mustard do you prefer?” Tsukki finally asked him, pulling Tadashi out of the world where he dumbly stared at his friend’s side profile and into the one where he actually listened to people. </p><p>“Huh?” </p><p>Turns out that’s not what you say to people who you were supposed to be listening to. </p><p>Tsukki holds out the two brands of mustard sauces in front of him. “Which one do you like better?” He asks again and Tadashi reads the fancy names. In all honesty he doesn’t exactly have any strong opinions towards mustard sauce but he points to the brand he’s seen his mum use just so that he can give an answer. </p><p>“Don’t you think you should get the kind of mustard you like?” He asks when Tsukki throws it into the basket. Tadashi briefly thinks about how the colour of the bottle kind of matches Tsukki’s eyes, he wonders how he feel about his eyes being the same colour as mustard. </p><p>“It’s not for me idiot.” Tsukki mutters. “I figured you were going to be at my place often and you like eating mustard with everything.” He makes an ugly face at the word everything and Tadashi would be offended at how Tsukki thought that mustard wasn’t supposed to be eaten with most foods - but his mind is still stuck on the part of his sentence where Tsukishima Kei of all people was making adjustments to his life for Tadashi’s convenience. </p><p>He realises he hasn’t said anything when Tsukki finally looks at him with his eyebrows raised. His eyes suddenly go all wide and Tadashi cocks his head to the side, why does Tsukki look like he did something wrong all of a sudden. </p><p>“Yamaguchi what the fuck? Why are you crying?” He hisses out. </p><p>So that’s why. He hadn’t even realised he was crying, but now that he had, Tadashi sniffed and tried to wipe at his eyes. “You’ve…you’ve grown so much since high school.” He managed to spit out in between his sniffles. “I can’t believed I missed that.” </p><p>“Jesus Yamaguchi, you sound like my mom.” Despite how annoyed he sounded, Tadashi found himself being pulled into an awkward hug, Tsukki’s hand patting his back until he finally stopped crying. “I don’t even know why I’m getting so worked up over it.” He said after accepting the tissue that was held out to him. </p><p>“I can’t believe you cried because of mustard.” Tsukki snorted. “In the middle of a grocery store.” </p><p>“Shut up Tsukki.” </p><p>Tsukki rolled his eyes and murmured a halfhearted “Sorry Yamaguchi.” before walking to the next aisle, not bothering to wait for Tadashi to catch up with him. He almost didn’t hear what Tsukki said after that. </p><p>Almost. </p><p>“If it makes you feel any better, you were a pretty big reason as to why I’ve grown.” </p><p>There wasn’t any anger behind that statement, no spite or hurt. It was just a fact, but if Tadashi thought about it enough, it sounded just a little bit like a backhand jab, ‘The reason why Tsukki changed because he was an asshole.’ </p><p>He decided not to think about it, the past was in the past - Tsukki said that himself. </p><p>“I’m glad Tsukki.” He grinned. “But now that I’m here we can grow with each other.” </p><p>Tsukki put a bag of sugar into his basket. “You’re still just as embarrassing y’know?.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy valentines day! Or not! <br/>I actually got this super angsty idea for a oneshot that once again revolves around Tsukki's insecurities and self esteem (I swear I don't hate him or anything he's my comfort character and I love projecting on him :D) and started writing that story today so that's going nice for me! <br/>Anyways back to this chapter. Honestly, I'm not really the best at writing not sad things but I'm trying and hopefully I'll get better with time? Also did anyone notice any parallels from the actual show in the show? I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter and have a lovely week !!</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Hot Chocolate and Pyjamas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Yamaguchi.” </p><p>Tadashi stopped his monologue to stare at Tsukki. Tsukki stared back with the same amount of intensity. </p><p>Until he burst out laughing. </p><p>“Huh?” Tadashi watched as his best friend started cackling right in front of him, letting his book bag fall to the floor in order to clutch his stomach. </p><p>“You…you still ramble so much Yams.” He said after a good minute of trying to compose himself - as much as he could compose himself when he was soaked head to toe and shaking because of laughter.</p>
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    <p>Tadashi was working on his essay when he heard a series of quiet curses from outside. One of the drawbacks of getting an apartment that was so cheap was the walls being so painfully thin. </p><p>Had someone fallen outside his door? Did someone break their leg? Were they looking for a pet that ran away? Tadashi wanted to go out and check what was happening but he didn’t want to be intruding on anything, what if whoever was outside just got dumped? They sure as hell wouldn’t want someone to be annoying them. </p><p>Then the doorbell rung. </p><p>The swearing had stopped so Tadashi had to assume that the person was gone when he opened the door. What he was met with however was Tsukki standing drenched from head to toe, book bag held close to his chest as he looked down at the floor. </p><p> “Tsukki you’re wet.” Tadashi gaped. </p><p>He nodded, finally looking up at him. “It’s raining outside. I uh, I think I forgot my keys at work.” </p><p>“Oh it’s raining? I didn’t notice at all, the blinds have been closed for most of to-wait, I should probably let you in first, do you want to come in Tsukki?” Tadashi stepped aside with a little sigh, “Of course you do, that’s why you rang my doorbell in the first place. Say Tsukki, was it you who was swearing in the hallwa-“ </p><p>“Yamaguchi.” </p><p>Tadashi stopped his monologue to stare at Tsukki. Tsukki stared back with the same amount of intensity. </p><p>Until he burst out laughing. </p><p>“Huh?” Tadashi watched as his best friend started cackling right in front of him, letting his book bag fall to the floor in order to clutch his stomach. </p><p>“You…you still ramble so much Yams.” He said after a good minute of trying to compose himself - as much as he could compose himself when he was soaked head to toe and shaking because of laughter. </p><p>Tadashi felt himself turn an ugly shade of red - deciding to take an interest in the pattern of the floorboard instead of look at Tsukki. He knew that Tsukki’s laugh was innocent - it sounded nothing like the laughs he used to mock Kageyama and Hint back in highschool, but knowing that Tsukki was laughing after running in the rain - all because of him, that did something to Tadashi. </p><p>“You can use my shower if you want.” He said quickly, moving aside to let Tsukki inside. “I’ll lay out some clothes for you - hopefully they’ll fit.” </p><p>Tsukki took his shoes off politely before nodding. “I already texted Kageyama for the backup keys, so I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible.” </p><p>Then he disappeared to the bathroom. </p><p>Tadashi wondered when sending time with him became ‘being in his hair’, Tsukki probably didn’t even mean anything by what he said, did Tadashi even have the right to get so upset over that one sentence? </p><p>Probably not. </p><p>That’s how he ended up in the kitchen, trying to make hot chocolate for the both of them to take his mind off Tsukki. </p><p>He could hear the water running from the bathroom as he put the milk to a boil and went to his room to look for anything that would fit Tsukki. Tadashi praised himself for not being short - but he was still half a head shorter than Tsukki. His clothes were usually tight, whereas he noticed that Tsukki preferred wearing really loose clothes - how did someone that tall even buy oversized clothes? </p><p>After minutes of searching, Tadashi finally found clothes that looked like they’d fit Tsukki - a pair of his own oversized sleep clothes, and left them for him on the bed before going back to check on the milk. He knew Tsukki preferred strawberry flavoured things but he didn’t have anything like that right now, hot chocolate could have to make do. </p><p>The doorbell rang the second time that day. </p><p>It was probably Kageyama, Tsukki did say that he would be showing up shortly. </p><p>Or maybe it was a murderer. </p><p>If Tadashi had to bet on which on of the two would want to kill him more, he’d probably go with Kageyama. </p><p>The doorbell rang again, and Tadashi realised that if he didn’t answer he might actually die. “Coming!” He yelled, scrambling to the door and pulling it open. </p><p>Turns out, there was no murderer. </p><p>Kageyama was stiffly standing in front of him, hands in his pocket as he stared at the floor. “I’m here for Tsukki.” He muttered and Tadashi nodded. He knew that Kageyama was was feeling just as awkward as Tadashi was - especially since how their last conversation ended at the diner. </p><p>“Tsukki’s in the bath right now, do you want to come and sit until he comes back?” </p><p>Kageyama nodded and took off his shoes before coming in. Tadashi let him look around for a few minutes before sitting on his couch - he got it for sale just last week, Tadashi was especially proud of his purchase. </p><p>“I’ll uh, I’ll just be a minute, do you want anything to eat?” He went to the kitchen to turn the stove off. </p><p>Kageyama shook his head and instead of starting conversation, decided that staring holes in Tadashi’s back was a better option. </p><p>“Yamaguchi.” Kageyama said after a few minutes of awkward silence. Tadashi was sitting in front of him, choosing to play with his hair when he heard his name. “I uh…I heard you apologised to Tsukki and you two are trying to…patch things up?” </p><p>Tadashi nodded, he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to say something right now.</p><p>“You know, you really hurt him Yamaguchi.” </p><p>It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. </p><p>A fact. </p><p>Kageyama sighed. “I know it’s none of my business but…just make sure you’re not an idiot this time, but honestly you could probably stab Tsukki and get away with it if you make sure not to ghost him for so long.” </p><p>Tadashi nodded at his words, he wasn’t sure where Kageyama was going with that analogy but he knew what the underlying message was. </p><p>Tsukki would let Tadashi break his heart a million times if that meant they could still be friends. </p><p>Tadashi was aware of that, he didn’t want to believe it was true though - but it was, and it just made him feel terrible that Tsukki would think that Tadashi would purposefully try to hurt him - not that his claim was completely baseless though. </p><p>“I know…I know I hurt him really bad in the past Kageyama.” Tadashi took a deep breathe. “And I know that you’ve taken the place I once had for him, but I promise I won’t do anything to hurt him now, and if I know that I need to respect his boundaries but please, Kageyama can you let me have another chance?” </p><p>Tadashi was waiting for Kageyama to get mad at him. Maybe say a long speech about how much he had to see Tsukki suffer because of him, how Tsukki was finally in a better place ever since Tadashi left, what he did not expect was Kageyama’s shoulders sagging and his head falling back on the couch. </p><p>“Finally.” He sighed, rubbing his temple. “Yamaguchi, do you know how hard it is trying to be mad at someone who was your captain in high school?” </p><p>Huh? </p><p>“I’ll still murder you if you hurt him but honestly I don’t see that happening.” Kageyama rubbed his eyes and looked at him. “So I guess this is a new start for us too then, huh?” </p><p>Tadashi blinked. Then he nodded. Then he grinned. </p><p>“But first tell me more about how you still see me as your captain, Kageyama.” He teased and Kageyama frowned. He opened his mouth to say something when the bedroom door opened. </p><p>“You’re already here?” Tsukki questioned. Tadashi turned around to see him standing by the bedroom door and rubbing his hair dry. He looked kinda cute in the pair of matching pyjamas that was still just a little small on him. </p><p>He didn’t notice that he was staring until Kageyama cleared his throat behind him. “I need to get going though, I got your keys Tsukshima.”</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for a bit?” Tadashi quipped after Tsukki and Kageyama had exchanged a few words. “It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken properly Kageyama.” </p><p>Kageyama shook his head. “Sorry, today’s one of the last off-season weekends that me and Shouyo have before practice starts so we were thinking of spending it at this fancy restaurant nearby.” </p><p>“You’re going to a restaurant wearing that?” Tsukki shot out before Tadashi could even move. </p><p>Kageyama growled. </p><p>“You’re the one wearing those godawful looking pair of pyja-“ </p><p>“Hey! Those are my pyjamas.” Tadashi pouted. </p><p>Tsukki tried his best to bite back a laugh, Kageyama was blubbering out an apology. </p><p>They spoke for a few more minutes before Kageyama announced that he should probably go, whispering a not-so-subtle “For what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone can replace the spot you held.” </p><p>Tsukki waited for the door to close before sighing. “Does that idiot really not know how whispering works?” He turned to Tadashi - who was trying his best to fight off the warm red creeping up his neck. “What was that about, anyways?” </p><p>“I uh…I…I dunno Tsukki!” Tadashi sputtered, walking right into the kitchen. “Maybe he really is an idiot after all - enough about Kageyama though, I made you hot chocolate since I know how much you hate the cold, you can get a blanket from my room while I’m finishing up if you want to.” </p><p>If Tsukki noticed that he was trying to change the topic, he didn’t say anything about it, just nodding and disappearing to find a blanket. </p><p>When he finally came back to the living room, Tsukki was tucked into a corner of the couch with the blanket wrapped around him, “Thanks.” He smiled when Tadashi handed him a mug. They sat together in a comfortable silence, staring out the window and into the rainy street, Tadashi was about to ask if Tsukki would stay for dinner when he noticed the almost empty mug slipping from his friends hand. </p><p>“Tsukki your mug?” He asked before realising that Tsukki was asleep. Tadashi snorted before taking the mug away from him and setting it on the table. Tsukki was probably tired after the week - and everyone knew that Tsukki fell asleep fast when he was warm, it was one of the tricks Akiteru used to use to get them to take naps when they were in elementary school. </p><p>It was only 9 pm and Tsukki hadn’t eaten yet, but he looked so peaceful that Tadashi decided to just keep a portion of dinner out on the table for him if he ever woke up and felt hungry. A part of him wanted to force Tsukki awake and make him watch movies with him, but he’d do that in the morning. </p><p>Tadashi put Tsukki’s glasses and came to the compromise that if he let him sleep right now, tomorrow he would get them to do something fun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey guys I'm back with a new chapter &lt;3. <br/>I honestly don't have too much to say for this one except that I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! There IS still some underlying tension between the character but the next chapter is just pure fluff/slice of life stuff so yup yup get ready for that !! <br/>I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and have a great week ahead, stay safe please :)</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. BibimBap and Pacman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They’d been in the arcade for a little more than an hour now, and Yamaguchi was stuck on one of the zombie shooting games he really wanted to complete, but for the past 4 tries it was just Kei shooting down the zombies and Yamaguchi getting all carried away with his gun.</p><p>“We should go to the foodcourt.” Kei said after Yamaguchi successfully killed a zombie. “You’re all worked up, you won’t be able to play like this.” </p><p>“How do you know I’m worked up, huh?” </p><p>Kei put the gun back where it was supposed to be. “You’re bouncing on your heels right now Yamaguchi.</p>
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    <p>The first thing kei noticed when he woke up was that he was uncomfortable. It was cold and instead of waking up in his soft bed, Kei was squeezed on someone’s couch - neck bent in an awkward angle. </p><p>The second thing Kei noticed when he woke up was the fact that he noticeably wasn’t in his own home. The couch was yellow and Kei had a colourful knit blanket instead of his own quilt. It was too bright and his clothes felt weird on his skin. </p><p>The third thing Kei noticed after he woke up was that everything around him smelt distinctly like Yamaguchi, so much so that it was almost overwhelming. He started putting two and two together as he took his surroundings - he fell asleep while talking to Yamaguchi yesterday and now he was laying on his couch, yeah that sounds about right. </p><p>He sat up with a groan and rubbed the back of his neck, this was definitely going to hurt today. The sun was out - like it had never rained yesterday. Kei was glad though, rainy days made him excessively lazy and he had things that needed to be done. He contemplated leaving Yamaguchi a ‘thank you note’ and just going back to his own apartment, to start off with his day. </p><p>“Tsukki! You’re finally awake, thank god!” </p><p>Or he could just stay here. </p><p>Kei watched with a frown as Yamaguchi came bounding into the kitchen, apron tied around his waist and spatula in hand. </p><p>“I made you coffee and cereal, we should eat, quick quick.” He seemed too excited considering the fact that it was still morning and Kei didn’t have his glasses on him. “I wanted to wake you up earlier but you just looked so cute when you were alseep, y’know? But now it’s fine since you’re awa-” </p><p>“Yamaguchi? Where are my glasses.” </p><p>That seemed to stop him in the middle of his little speech, then there was some knocking things around - and finally Kei’s glasses were safely in his hands. </p><p>“Now,” He blinked a few times to get used to the surrounding. “Tell me, what exactly are you so excited about?” </p><p>Yamaguchi was back in the kitchen as Kei stood up to fold the blankets he used - the apartment wasn’t the biggest, so he could hear him just fine. “I was thinking, there’s this really cool arcade close by. I kinda wanted to go to the amusement park since it’ll be a while for the next time we can have fun because of finals coming soon, but you don’t really like amusement parks and the new arcade is supposed to be pretty nice to visit too.” </p><p>Kei was a bit shocked that Yamaguchi had the ability to ramble so early in the morning as well but it was comforting listening to him, letting Yamaguchi talk so that he could listen. “Bokuto san told me about a new arcade, it’s probably the same one.” He yawned and made his way into the kitchen. “You know I could have breakfast at my place too y’know.” </p><p>Yamaguchi frowned. “But Tsukki, you made me those coffee buns the other day, I need to repay you.” </p><p>“With soggy cereal?” </p><p>Yamaguchi huffed but Kei knew it was all in good spirit, Yamaguchi’s usability to cook was something he made up for with his needless hospitality and his ability to make Kei do just about anything with a few pouts.</p><p>That’s how Kei found himself at an Arcade at 11am on a Saturday instead of doing his own work at home. </p><p>“You’re jumping too much, you won’t kill anyone like that.” Kei muttered, putting a hand on Yamaguchi’s shoulder to try and still him from practically throwing his plastic gun into the screen. </p><p>Then they tried again, Kei moving away as the game began to reload. </p><p>They’d been in the arcade for a little more than an hour now, and Yamaguchi was stuck on one of the zombie shooting games he really wanted to complete, but for the past 4 tries it was just Kei shooting down the zombies and Yamaguchi getting all carried away with his gun.</p><p>“We should go to the foodcourt.” Kei said after Yamaguchi successfully killed a zombie. “You’re all worked up, you won’t be able to play like this.” </p><p>“How do you know I’m worked up, huh?” </p><p>Kei put the gun back where it was supposed to be. “You’re bouncing on your heels right now Yamaguchi.” </p><p>Yamaguchi grumbled something under his breath but followed Kei to the foodcourt. They spent some time looking for a table before dumping all their stuff there and going to actually get food - Kei asked whether Yamaguchi wanted to just wait at the table but he insisted that he wanted to come with him. </p><p>“Can we go the the BibimBap place Tsukki, I wanna eat Korean food today.” </p><p>Kei nodded, spotting the BibimBap shop and walking there, keeping a hand on Yamaguchi’s arm so he wouldn’t get lost. </p><p>It wasn't like Yamaguchi was a child who needed to be held all the time, but losing Yamaguchi would be an inconvenience right now, that’s why Kei was holding onto him. </p><p>“I’ll have a Yeolmu Bibimbap, you can decide what you want.” </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded ad looked at the menu for a little bit before one of the workers came to take their order. “Hi, welcome to Bibimbap nation, may I take your order?” She asked, Kei put his hand up as a motion of giving Yamaguchi more time to decide. </p><p>“Oh, there’s an offer for couples by the way, buy one get one free. In case you two we-“ </p><p>“Oh no, we’re not a-“ </p><p>Yamaguchi dug his elbow into Kei’s side. “Of course, just let both of us think about what we’ll have for a moment.” </p><p>Kei’s breath wasn’t supposed to get caught in his throat when Yamaguchi said that. He knew what was going on, he remembers pretending to be engaged to Akaashi a few months ago for free cake - this was no different. So why was his face so red when Yamaguchi was doing it. </p><p>He wouldn’t let himself having a mini crisis stop Yamaguchi from getting a free meal, so he held his ‘boyfriend’s’ hand and waited for him to decide what he wanted. </p><p>After a good few minutes of going through the menu, Yamaguchi finally ordered a Jinju Bibimbap and told the worker their table number before walking back. Kei knew he didn’t have to keep holding Yamaguchi’s hand but neither of them were letting go. </p><p>If he ended up dying because of all the blood rushing to his face he could deal with it. </p><p>It would make an interesting headline in the least. </p><p>“Tsukki, you okay?” Yamaguchi asked when they sat down on their corner table. </p><p>Kei nodded. </p><p>“I was just thinking about all those times we would go out to eat after school.” The lie came so easily to him, he hoped Yamaguchi didn't notice. </p><p>“Oh god Tsukki, remember that really tiny ramen shop?” </p><p>“Honestly, that was the best ramen I’ve ever had in my life.” </p><p>“We stopped going there after the team found out about that place though.” </p><p>“That’s because it was our spot.” Kei grumbled. “The team finding out about it ruined it.” </p><p>“We should go back if we go to Miyagi anytime soon.” </p><p>Kei nodded, going back to the ramen shop would actually be really nice. </p><p>Two bowls of Bibimbap were kept in front of them and Yamaguchi broke open his pair of chopsticks - their conversation about ramen seemingly forgotten. </p><p>“Fukki why aren you eaping?” </p><p>“Swallow before you speak Yamaguchi.” </p><p>Yamaguchi coughed a bit on his food before trying again. “Why aren’t you eating Tsukki?” </p><p>“I am, I’m just not eating as fast as you Yama-wait, there’s something on your cheek, come here.” </p><p>Kei leaned over the table in one practiced motion and wiped the red sauce from Yamaguchi’s lips with the pad of his thumb. He realised he didn’t even think about what he did until the he had already sat back down in his chair. </p><p>Was he crossing a line? Was he not supposed to do that? </p><p>Kei considered apologising but when he looked up, Yamaguchi was staring at the table - red in the face. </p><p>Kei decided he could ignore the prickles on his thumb and the heat on his cheeks just for today. Instead of apologising, he cleared his throat. “Finish up fast, we still need to go to the packman machine before going home.” </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded and took another bite of his Bibimbap. </p><p>Cute.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Me: Kei <br/>My laptop's autocorrect: Do you mean Kai? </p><p>anyways, here is the tsukkiyama arcade date-not-a-date chapter, I hope you enjoyed reading this! I hope you have a great week ahead and don't forget to take care of yourselves!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Tantrums and Tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yamaguchi shook his head and sat on the carpet, leaning his head against the table which was right where it was when Kei saw it last. </p><p>“Do you want me to help clean up the mess?” </p><p>Yamaguchi shook his head. </p><p>“Do you want a glass of water?” </p><p>Yamaguchi shook his head. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei looked at the film reel closely. Yamaguchi insisted that they take pictures in the Photo Booth yesterday and made sure that Kei got an extra reel. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he had been looking at the small photos over and over agin for the past few hours. </p><p>He would’ve put the photo in the living room, next to the one he had of his family but that would give his friends something to tease him about - Kei definitely didn’t need that right now. He felt like he did in highschool, making a playlist of love songs and staring at his phone like a fool after Yamaguchi decided to spam him with selfies. </p><p>Did he like feeling this way? </p><p>Definitely not. </p><p>With all the willpower he could muster on a Sunday morning, Kei got off his bed - he made a point to put the photo reel under a book so that he wouldn’t pick it up, before starting to clean his apartment. He turned on some music and started the calming process of putting things back in their places and wiping away all the dust in his apartment. </p><p>It was a peaceful Sunday morning, until he started to hear loud thumps from the other side of the wall. If Kei had to guess, he’d put his bet on Yamaguchi throwing random things around his apartment. He could go check out what was wrong - but knowing Yamaguchi, this was all a part of his usual process of finding things. </p><p>The sounds continued for a little while longer, and then Kei could hear sobbing. </p><p>Very loud sobbing. </p><p>The decision that Kei made was almost instant. </p><p>He slipped on a jacket and immediately left his Sunday cleaning to know on his neighbours door - would he even be here if the walls in this apartment complex weren’t so goddamn thin? </p><p>Kei waited patiently until he heard shuffling and heavy footsteps making their way to the door. Slowly, the door creaked open and he was face to face with an extremely teary eyed Yamaguchi - who looked like he hadn’t even brushed his hair since waking up. </p><p>“Yamaguchi?” Kei hoped this would move the conversation along. </p><p>Yamaguchi frowned and rubbed his eyes. “I thought you were the landlord.” </p><p>“I’m Tsukishima.” </p><p>There was a moment of silence before Yamaguchi took a step forward and wrapped around Kei’s waist, letting his head fall onto his chest. He was still crying, and Kei wasn’t exactly sure what to do about it, but he assumed that physical comfort was what he was looking for. </p><p>He let Yamaguchi shuffle a little closer to him, opting to rub little circles on the small of his back in hopes of making him feel more at ease. </p><p>“Do you want to go inside?” Kei asked when Yamaguchi’s sobs had finally settled down into sniffles against his jacket. “I’m pretty sure the neighbours are wondering what’s going on over here.” </p><p>That made Yamaguchi snort - a strangled animal sort of sound but at least it was better than him sobbing. </p><p>Instead of waiting for an answer, Kei decided to just lead Yamaguchi back inside the safety of his own home - making sure to close the door softly behind them before he let himself take a look around the apartment - the same apartment that looked so neat and put together just barely a day ago. </p><p>All the throw pillows were on the floor, in fact - even the couch that Yamaguchi bragged about finding at a sale was on its side. The few unpacked boxes that he still had left were turned over and if Kei looked closely into the kitchen, he could swear he saw pieces of what used to be a plate. </p><p>“What…What happened Yamaguchi?” </p><p>Yamaguchi shook his head and sat on the carpet, leaning his head against the table which was right where it was when Kei saw it last. </p><p>“Do you want me to help clean up the mess?” </p><p>Yamaguchi shook his head. </p><p>“Do you want a glass of water?” </p><p>Yamaguchi shook his head. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” </p><p>Yamaguchi nodded. </p><p>Kei sat himself down next to Yamaguchi, crossing his legs and making sure to sit just close enough so that Yamaguchi could lean his head on Kei’s shoulder if he wanted to. </p><p>He didn’t. </p><p>“It’s silly.” Yamaguchi finally decided to say after what seemed like to long of a wait. </p><p>“If it made you do all this, I’m pretty sure it’s not silly.”</p><p>“It’s just…I’ve been really stressed lately, I got rejected from 3 places just because of my tattoos - and I even offered to cover them up for work, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi whined out his name for emphasis, and despite how terrible the situation was it made Kei smile a bit. “And then I guess I just remembered how my grandma would comfort me when I got upset back then, and then well…yeah.” </p><p>Kei didn’t really know how to respond to Yamaguchi. He’d never been in his shoes before - yes he had lost his father before, but he wasn’t close to him like Yamaguchi was close to his grandma. Nor did he have any particular difficulties when it came to searching for jobs. </p><p>He wasn’t exactly the most empathetic person either. </p><p>He shuffled a bit closer to Yamaguchi and pulled him closer. Yamaguchi himself didn’t try to fight back against Kei’s grasp, instead he wrapped his arm around him and sobbed into his shirt, Kei hoped that rubbing his back would make him feel better. </p><p>Yamaguchi’s grandma. </p><p>As Yamaguchi sobbed - Kei did what he did best. </p><p>He made a plan. </p><p>What did Yamaguchi’s grandma do for them when they were having a bad day. </p><p>Kei wasn’t sure if he remembered correctly, but Yamaguchi’s grandma used to make them their favourite foods and put on a movie for them to watch before actually tackling the problem. That sounded like a good plan right now. He could make Yamaguchi something nice and warm and then while he put on some cake decorating videos in his bedroom, Kei would clean up his living room. If Yamaguchi was feeling better then, they’d look at job applications together. </p><p>He patiently waited for Yamaguchi to stop crying before he decided to say anything - the last thing he wanted was to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. </p><p>“Why don’t we get you to your room, I’ll make you something to drink real quick.” </p><p>He didn’t leave any room for argument, hauling Yamaguchi up and leading him to his room before he could say anything about how Kei didn’t have to do all this. He wasn’t going to listen to any of that, what Yamaguchi needed was a nap and something to fill his stomach. </p><p>To his surprise, Yamaguchi didn’t put up a fight as Kei led him to the bedroom and let Yamaguchi get under the overs as Kei looked for his laptop. “I’m uh, I’ll get you something to drink Yams, until then watch some Netflix or…yeah just keep yourself busy I guess.” </p><p>He really needed to work on how he comforted people. </p><p>Or he could just stop spending time with kageyama. </p><p>He watched as Yamaguchi sniffled and typed something slowly on his laptop before deeming it safe to leave Yamaguchi on his own to go clean up the mess he’d made in the living room. As quietly as he could, Kei put some tea on the stove and started off by cleaning up the glass in the kitchen and going to the living room. </p><p>Thankfully for him, the only actually damage Yamaguchi had made during this fit was breaking a plate, fixing up his living room just took around five minutes and then all Kei had to do was wait for the tea to finish up. </p><p>Putting the cups of tea on a tray and finding some biscuits in the pantry, Kei went back into the bedroom to find Yamaguchi bundled up under his pile of blankets with his face turned away from the screen. “Yams, are you asleep?” Kei asked softly, setting the plate down on the bedside table. </p><p>Yamaguchi grunted. “What? No, I’m just listening to music.” </p><p>“I have some tea.” </p><p>This made Yamaguchi perk up a bit, rolling over and staring at the tray of food before sitting up and leaning against the headboard. “Did you get cookies?” </p><p>Kei hummed in affirmation and pushed the laptop away, letting the soft music continue playing from the laptop. He decided to get into the blanket himself and get comfortable before giving Yamaguchi his cup. If Yamaguchi still wanted to talk to him, then he would - but until them, Kei would be happy simply providing him physical comfort. </p><p>He let Yamaguchi eat and drink his tea in peace as they listened to the music. The songs sounded somewhat familiar - but then again, it wasn’t like Yamaguchi wasn’t aloud to listen to songs that Kei usually listened to back in high-school - although this playlist was admittedly unique to Yamaguchi’s usual taste. </p><p>He watched as Yamaguchi drank his tea and managed to cuddle deeper into the blankets in silence. It was probably fifteen whole minutes later when Kei realised why his playlist sounded so familiar. </p><p>It was the playlist Kei made for Yamaguchi. </p><p>He had made it as a small part of his elaborate confession for Yamaguchi - all the songs that made him think of Yamaguchi over the years in one playlist. Kei had always assumed that when Yamaguchi rejected him, he would’ve thrown away the pen drive as well. </p><p>Or at least forgotten about it. </p><p>Kei would’ve never imagined that Yamaguchi still listened to this playlist so often that the pen drive very was very clearly starting to get worn out because of excessive usage. </p><p>“Yams, is that my pen drive?” </p><p>It came out of his mouth before kei could do anything, and it caused Yamaguchi to nod into the blanket, his face turned away from Kei’s. </p><p>“I listen to it once in a while…when I get sad sometimes.” </p><p>Kei wanted to ask him more questions. Did he think of Kei when he listened to the songs? Did he listen to them the day after his confession too? Did he listen to this playlist when he was with Terushima? Has he been carrying around this pen drive since high school? </p><p>But when Yamaguchi cuddled into Kei’s side once again, he decided that these questions could wait if it meant Yamaguchi was in his arms for a while longer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Firstly, apologies for no update last week, I wasn't feeling the best and started writing this pretty late into the week. I'm a little sick but I will try to keep my updates consistent. I don't have too much to say for this chapter but I really hope you all enjoyed this, let me know what you think!</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Pork Buns and emotions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tadashi groaned. “Hinata you realised you’re heavier than you were when we were kids, right?” </p><p>“I know, and I won’t get up until you stop trash talking yourself.” </p><p>“I’m not trash talking myself.” </p><p>“Yeah you are, and if I was Tsukishima I’d call you an idiot - you should be grateful I’m being so nice.” </p><p>“Breaking my legs isn’t very nice you know.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tadashi felt like a middle schooler. </p><p>A stupid middle schooler who didn’t know how to differentiate between platonic or romantic feelings. </p><p>He was sure that the feelings he had towards Tsukki were more or less non-existent after they had parted ways in high school, in fact - Tadashi had gotten over his crush pretty easily. When they met at Suga and Daichi’s engagement party, the only emotion he felt towards Tsukki was regret. Even when they patched things up, Tadashi was a hundred precent sure that the relation he had with him was platonic, they were just starting to get back on their old track of being friends. </p><p>So why was he feeling like this all of a sudden? </p><p>When did the shift happen? </p><p>Was it when Tsukki smiled at him when they were eating coffee buns? When he stayed over and Tadashi spent an extra few minutes just looking at him sleeping so peacefully? When he offered to pay for Tadashi’s meal at the arcade? When he hugged Tadashi and offered to help when he was having a tantrum last week? </p><p>Did he ever actually get over Tsukki like he had claimed he had? </p><p>“Shou, you’re not helping, not one bit.” He whined, kicking his feet and blowing raspberries at his friend. </p><p>Hinata had come over an hour ago - claiming that he would help Tadashi with all these feelings but the only thing that he was doing tapping away on a laptop. </p><p>“Trust me Yams.” He grinned. “Making a pros and cons list is one of the best ways to get to a decision, Yachi and I do this all the time!” </p><p>Tadashi snorted. </p><p>“That’s not reassuring in the least.” </p><p>“Hey! You’ve been spending too much time with Tsukishima, you’re mean now.” </p><p>Tadashi snorted again and turning over on his stomach, watching Hinata as he continued working on his laptop. Tsukki said that he would be studying late at his college library and had a ate shift at his workplace as well, so that left Tadashi all the time in the world to have his mid life crisis with Hinata. </p><p>“Walk me through this, why don’t you think you like Tsukishima?” Hint finally turned towards Tadashi. </p><p>He definitely felt like a middle schooler now. </p><p>Tadashi made a sound. “It’s not that…it’s not that I don't want to like him, it’s just - liking Tsukishima makes everything so much more complicated. </p><p>Hinata hummed thoughtfully and typed a few words down. Tadashi continued speaking. </p><p>“We just got on good terms after so long, I’m not going to let the same thing happen again because of stupid feelings, he hated me Hinata, I can’t just go around confessing my feelings and ruining everything when he doesn’t like me. Besides, I just got out of a relationship with Teru, shouldn’t I at least wa-“ </p><p>“Wait, hold up.” Hinata was typing an inhumane speed, eyebrows furrowed as he chewed at his bottom lip. </p><p>Hinata stopped typing. “What makes you think Tsukishima doesn’t like you?” </p><p>Tadashi briefly wondered if Hinata had even been paying attention to anything that Tadashi had said these past few years. <br/>“What makes you think he does like me, huh?” He focused on the picture of his family on the wall. “After everything I did to him in high school, I’m not even sure that I would like me after that.” </p><p>“I don’t deserve to like him.” He said after a beat of silence. </p><p>He heard the laptop snap shut and an uncomfortable pressure on his legs.</p><p>Tadashi groaned. “Hinata you realised you’re heavier than you were when we were kids, right?” </p><p>“I know, and I won’t get up until you stop trash talking yourself.” </p><p>“I’m not trash talking myself.” </p><p>“Yeah you are, and if I was Tsukishima I’d call you an idiot - you should be grateful I’m being so nice.” </p><p>“Breaking my legs isn’t very nice you know.” </p><p>“Well if you just co operate for a min-Hey!” Hinata cut himself off, “Now you’re just trying to change the topic, that’s not fair.” </p><p>“What I was trying to say before you distracted me was that I’m a hundred and ten percent sure that Tsukishima doesn’t hate you, honestly according to Tobio - he still likes you just as much as he did in high school!” </p><p>“Wait.” Hinata said. “Just don’t tell Tobio - it was supposed to be top secret but you were being too dense to figure it out yourself.” </p><p>Tadashi wasn’t too sure about whether he should believe Hinata or not. On one side of things, he usually had the best of intentions in mind when he shared information - but Tadashi wasn’t sure how much of it Hinata had misread in his excitement of getting his friends together. </p><p>“Either way,” Tadashi tried pushing Hinata off his knees. “I can’t do anything about it for the next two weeks, Tsukki’s got his exams coming up and I don’t want to overwhelm him.” </p><p>Hinata took that as a yes and started talking about something else, but Tadashi knew that the only reason for the sudden topic change was the fact that Hinata didn’t really understand how Tsukki got overwhelmed at the most mundane of things. </p><p>Truth be told, Tadashi wasn’t too sure about why Tsukki got so overwhelmed but he had learned to accept it early on in their friendship, and by the time he was in middle school he could identify when Tsukki would get overwhelmed before Tsukki even said a word. </p><p>Some people might have seen that as silly - who in their right minds got overwhelmed at a choice as simple as which cereal they wanted to buy? But for Tadashi, that was always just a part of Tsukki. A part of Tsukki that he knew like the back of his hand. </p><p>And he knew for a fact that Tsukki would be extra on edge since his exams were coming up and getting him overwhelmed would be the most simple thing on the planet. </p><p>Tadashi definitely didn’t want to be the person who tipped Tsukki over the edge. </p><p>Right now he had bigger problems. </p><p>“If you get off me I’ll get you some Pork buns, how about that?” </p><p>Hinata was off of Tadashi’s knees before he could even finish his question.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi this is a smaller chapter partly because I'm still sick partly because I genuinely didn't have anything to add on so yeah. I also realised that once this fic comes to an end I won't be able to talk to you guys via comments and that made me sad (this fic won't end anytime soon but the realisation made me go 'oh' don't worry) anyways I wanted to- </p><p>--mini rant-- <br/>While I was sick I was reading a lot of fics and consuming media in general but I was really looking into the KuroTsukki tag and wanted some nice angst fics. The thing is, most of the angst fics had the same exact story of Tsukki cheating on Yams with Kuroo or something that eventually ends up with Yamaguchi being all sad and I just want to say that its POSSIBLE to write about one ship but at the same time not bring down other ships and in fact it's more interesting too. It just makes me angry that Tsukki always gets depicted in this negative light when he's my kin and also a comfort character. Yeah okay I have nothing to say anymore but if you've read upto here I hope you have an amazing week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Cheesecake and 'Messy Apartments'</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It was no use, Tsukki had heard him well enough already. </p><p>“You…you what?” </p><p>Tadashi gulped. “Would you like me to dry your hair?” </p><p>Tsukki blinked at him. Then he looked at the towel in his hand. </p><p>“Sure.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tadashi leapt out of his couch when he heard the ‘ding’ of his oven. </p><p>He had decided to make a Japanese cheesecake for Tsukki while he focused on finishing a reading for one of his classes. Tadashi hadn’t spoken to Tsukki in almost a week - the last time they spent time they spent together was when Tadashi was crying, but he knew that giving him sweets would make him happy during exam time. </p><p>He also wanted an excuse to spend just a little time with Tsukki before he was too busy with tests - but no one had to know that. </p><p>Tadashi wasn’t a baker by any means, the only things he had in his home were packets of Ramen and meat that he could cook in just a few fast minutes. He really hoped that the three youtube tutorials he saw before making the cheesecake would be worth it to Tsukki - there was no other way for him to find out other than actually asking Tsukki what he thought of them. </p><p>Leaving the cheesecake on the counter to cool down for a bit, Tadashi finished up the rest of his Wednesday morning readings and packed up his book bag. He could easily spend an hour at Tsukki’s house before he absolutely had to leave for his public relations class. </p><p>After making sure he looked good enough - but not too good (or Tsukki might get suspicious) Tadashi put the cheesecake carefully in a Tupperware box and opened the door. He expected the door across from him to look as gloomy and dull as it always was, the plant outside being the only sign that pointed to anyone actually living there. </p><p>What he did not expect, was Kuroo. </p><p>He hadn’t seen the former captain in years - and he didn’t really pay any attention to him at the engagement party either. Kuroo had gotten taller, a little buffer too. His hair was less messy and Tadashi could see the edge of a tattoo peaking out of his sleeve if he looked closely. </p><p>But that wasn’t the point right now. </p><p>The point was, that Kuroo - who looked like he spent the night at Tsukki’s place, was leaning against the doorframe and talking to a very sleepy looking Tsukki. He couldn’t really tell what they were talking about from across the hall but what he could make out was how at ease Tsukki looked, leaning slightly towards Kuroo and watching him as he spoke. </p><p>Tadashi knew that they were close ever since their second year in high school, but he always thought that Tsukki looked at Kuroo more as a mentor than a friend. When did they become close enough to have casual sleepovers with each other? When did Tsukki become comfortable enough to look so at-ease with Kuroo? Were him and Kuroo sleeping together? Were they actually dating? Why did this make Tadashi feel so uncomfortable? </p><p>“Ah, Yamaguchi kun!” </p><p>Kuroo and Tsukki must have noticed Tadashi staring at them from across the hall, because now both of them were staring at him expectantly. “On your way out Yamaguchi kun?” he asked again. </p><p>The way Kuroo was staring at him made Tadashi want to lock himself back into his apartment. </p><p>If Tadashi had to choose one thing about Kuroo that was so unnerving, he would pick out his eyes. The way he looked at Tadashi in that hallway made him want to curl up into a ball, wrapping his arms around himself just so that Kuroo wouldn’t be able to see him. Tadashi felt like he was being stripped naked, every part of him being scrutinised by Kuroo. </p><p>Kuroo looked like he knew something that Tadashi didn’t - which he probably did. They way he said ‘Yamaguchi kun’ was even worse, that sick sense of false genuineness laced in his voice - Kuroo could easily be just as cruel as Tsukki, he was just making the choice not too. </p><p>Tadashi hated it. </p><p>“Actually I was hoping to catch Tsukki for a minute before going to my classes, Kuroo san.” </p><p>Kuroo raised an eyebrow. </p><p>This was worse than when Kageyama yelled at him in the diner. </p><p>“If that’s the case Yamaguchi kun, I’ll be taking my leave now.” </p><p>Tadashi nodded stiffly and watched as Kuroo turned around, exchanging a few more hushed sentences with Tsukki before patting him on the back and walking down the hallway.</p><p>A pat on he back. </p><p>A pat on the back wasn’t something you’d give a lover, was it? </p><p>“You said you wanted to talk about something?” Tsukki asked him, finally turning around from staring at Kuroo’s retreating figure. “Sorry about that, I didn’t get much time to clean up.” </p><p>Tadashi shook his head. “I was just wondering if you were studying actually - I made you some cake for an exam treat.” </p><p>“Isn’t the treat supposed to be after the exam?” </p><p>Despite what he said, Tsukki leaned to the side to let Tadashi into his apartment. </p><p>He ducked into the door and looked around quickly, a part of him was hoping to see a clue of his and Kuroo’s relationship in the living room, maybe a blanket on the couch? A pair of boxers near the table? Even seeing a few miss-placed pillows was better than anything. </p><p>Instead, Tsukki’s apartment looked just like it did every time he was over. </p><p>What exactly was his definition of ‘a little messy’? </p><p>“Sorry about Kuroo san.” Tsukki says when he takes the Tupperware from Tadashi and puts in on the counter. But that doesn’t answer any of his questions either. </p><p>So instead of asking Tsukki what Kuroo was doing at his house last night, Tadashi sits by the counter and watches as Tsukki turns on the stove - he was probably making something to eat. “How long are you going to be staying?” </p><p>“I’ve got an hour until I need to leave for class.” </p><p>Tsukki hums. “You can stay here, I’m going to take a shower real quick.” </p><p>Tadashi nods and decides to talk to Oikawa while Tsukki is in the shower. He waits until he hears the soft click of the bathroom door before sending out a message. </p><p>From: You <br/>‘Hey r u awake yet’</p><p>The response he gets is almost instant. </p><p>From: Oiks<br/>im an athlete i wake up at 5 am <br/>but yea<br/>im awake <br/>whats up </p><p>From: You <br/>I was wondering if u knew something <br/>Do u know if kuroo from nekoma is seeing someone <br/>ur friends with his best friend aren't u? </p><p>From: Oiks <br/>yea im friends with bokuto <br/>Atsumu too </p><p>From: You <br/>And? </p><p>From: Oiks <br/>idk man we dont really talk about kuroos romantic life </p><p>There’s another message before Tadashi gets the chance to respond. </p><p>From: Oiks<br/>is this about glasses chan? </p><p>From: You<br/>yeah actually </p><p>From: Oiks<br/>yk what <br/>ill figure smth out <br/>i could probably be able to tell if i got a chance to talk to either of them <br/>glasses or kuroo i mean </p><p>From: You <br/>how r u gonna do that? </p><p>From: Oiks <br/>ill try and figure smth out <br/>just trust me <br/>hopefully </p><p>That last message didn't seem like the most hopeful, but Tadashi let it go, Oikawa would figure something out. Besides, Tadashi could hear movement from the bedroom, which only meant that Tsukki’s shower was done. </p><p>It would be rude to be on the phone when you’re at your friends house. </p><p>He watched Tsukki walking around the living room, he was wearing trousers and a half sleeves t-shirt instead of the pyjamas that he was wearing when he initially came there. His hair was damp and stuck to his forehead, Tadashi noticed how the colour of his hair was much more like Akiteru’s when it was wet. “Do you want me to dry your hair?” Tadashi asked, before the more sensible part of his brain could tell him to shut up. </p><p>It was no use, Tsukki had heard him well enough already. </p><p>“You…you what?” </p><p>Tadashi gulped. “Would you like me to dry your hair?” </p><p>Tsukki blinked at him. Then he looked at the towel in his hand. </p><p>“Sure.” </p><p>Tsukki made his way to Tadashi, carefully sitting by his feet. He waited a few minutes for Tsukki to get more comfortable before taking the towels from his hand and drying his hair carefully. He held Tsukki’s shoulder with his right hand to make sure he didn't move too much and with his left hand, he dried off Tsukki’s hair. </p><p>It was still just as soft as he remembered - maybe even more well managed than it was back in highschool, but that was to be expected. Tsukki had been putting more effort in his appearance than he did back in high school. His hair smelt the same though - like cinnamon and winters and late nights spent talking in hushed whispers. Tadashi remembered spending nights just running his hands through Tsukki’s curls, whether it be after an intimate night or just a few hours of studying. </p><p>He wondered if he would get the chance to watch the sunrise with Tsukki’s head in his lap anytime in the future. </p><p>Somewhere along the task of just drying Tsukki’s hair, he lent down and decided to take a long sniff of his hair. It definitely wasn’t subtle - if Tsukki’s sudden jerk was something to go by, but he didn’t make an effort to pull away, and Tadashi took that as a offer to nuzzle into his hair for just a moment longer. </p><p>Suddenly, Tadashi didn’t really care about Kuroo or whatever his brain was telling him his relationship with Tsukki actually was. It didn’t matter anymore, because Tsukki was with him, sitting by his feet and letting Tadashi rest is head on top of his own. </p><p>He had given Tadashi his trust and that was all that mattered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys! Thanks a lot for the warm comments and everyone checking up on me, I'm physically a lot better now! I still get tired pretty easily but hopefully this week will be better for me since I've been putting away important tasks lately. Anyways, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy :) I've been spending my free time thinking up a bunch of other stories with other characters but I also realise that I can't possible start another story so those will stay in my notes app for the time being. </p><p>About this chapter...pls dont be harsh on Yamaguchi he needs time accepting the fact that Tsukki has friends (this is a joke) but yeah, this is supposed to be a slowburn and thus there will be slow burning and misunderstandings before things get to where they will be, I hope you like it though! ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Mojitos and A Game of Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Guys, gather round!” Oikawa came out of the kitchen, a tray of drinks balanced in his hands. “I want us to play a game, just like the good ol’ high school days.” </p><p>People started to fill up seats on the couch, Kei nudged Kenma awake - as much as he wanted to let Kenma sleep on him as an excuse for not standing, it was rude to not acknowledge your host. </p><p>Bokuto’s voice came from somewhere near him. “We could play volleyball!” </p><p>“Literally half of us are setters Bo.” Kuroo.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I still can’t believe you roped me into this.” </p><p>“After listening to you talk about Yamaguchi and your fucking hair for an hour this is the least you can do.” </p><p>“Stop acting like you and Hinata are any better, you can’t stop talking about his legs and you both are together.” </p><p>“Get the fuck out of my car.” </p><p>Kei huffed and got out of Kageyama’s car, fixing his hair and wondering for the fifth time that night what he was doing at this weird get-together that Oikawa was having. </p><p>Did he ever even speak to Oikawa? </p><p>He could’ve been studying for his midterms but instead he was here. </p><p>“Remind me what this get together is going to be about again?” He asked once Kageyama got out the car, they made their way to the elevator of Oikawa and iwaizumi’s residence. Despite having asked Kageyama time and again what exactly was, he was still a bit confused. </p><p>They were waiting for the elevator when Kei wondered if he should ask him again - he wondered if he even heard him. “Oikawa san wanted to have a get together, but just with some setters.” </p><p>That was by far the most stupid get together list Kei had ever heard about. </p><p>“Why am I here though, I don’t think I’ve ever set a ball in my life.” </p><p>Kageyama made a disapproving sound at that. “He said it would be fun if all of us brought a plus one.” </p><p>When Kei didn’t say anything, kageyama felt the need to clarify. “You’re my plus one.” </p><p>“Yeah no shit, I realised.” </p><p>The elevator dinged and Kei and Kageyama spent the few minutes to their apartment flat bickering about Kageyama’s taste in clothes before the door to Oikawa’s flat swung open. </p><p>Oikawa waved at Kageyama - their weirdly toxic relationship had gotten better over the years, with Oikawa finding himself in Brazil and Kageyama patching up his past with his middle school teammates as a whole. Kei was happy for his friend, Oikawa - he didn't care about him too much. </p><p>But he did find it unnerving when Oikawa’s smile seemed to widen when he saw him, he was a plus one -wasn’t Kageyama supposed to be the actual guest right now? </p><p>“Come in, you two are the last ones hear, I was beginning to think that neither of you would show up.” </p><p>Kageyama mumbled something about how Kei took hours of bribing before actually agreeing to come here but Kei was quick to pull him inside. </p><p>Sure enough, everyone was here - everyone and their plus ones. </p><p>Kenma and Akaashi were talking to someone who looked like - and probably was - Semi Eita from Shiratorizawa near the couches. He could hear Bokuto shout something from somewhere in the house and recognised Kuroo’s shoes by the door. Plus ones, Kei thought. Yamaguchi was laughing at something that Shirabu had said - the only one from Shiratorizowa that he had bothered to somewhat staying in contact with.   Sakusa Kiyoomi was holding a glass of beer to his chest and talking to Daichi, which only meant that Suga san and Atsumu were somewhere nearby. <br/>Wait. </p><p>Yamaguchi. </p><p>What was Yamaguchi doing here? </p><p>He wanted to ask Yamaguchi why he hadn’t told Kei he would be here as well - they could have all shared a ride, that was the only reason that Yamaguchi should’ve told him but it was a good enough reason. </p><p>He followed Kageyama around the room, exchanging pleasantries with everyone.  A younger him would immediately go to Yamaguchi, but that would be too awkward right now - he’d just ask him why he was here when they crossed him. </p><p>Akaashi complimented Kageyama’s recent win and they both spent a few extra minutes with Atsumu - he was one of Kageyama’s favourite seniors after all, coming close behind Suga san - who was apparently in the kitchen making some kind of drink that would get everyone drunk. </p><p>So much for being a responsible kindergarten teacher. </p><p>When they came upto Yamaguchi and Shirabu, he looked just as surprised as Kei was when he saw him. Kei noticed the way Kageyama wasn't glaring at Yamaguchi when he said ‘hello’ - they must’ve talked out their differences recently. </p><p>“I didn’t expect you to be here, Tsukki.” His words might have sounded rude to some, but Kei was sure he could sense some sort of relief hidden there, he wondered why. </p><p>Kei shrugged. “Hinata was visiting family for something, so I filled in as Kageyama’s plus one.” He jerked his chin towards his ‘setter companion’ who was currently busy grilling Shirabu about something related to what he was studying currently. </p><p>“I was helping Oikawa set up and stuff.” Yamaguchi took a sip of the cocktail in his hands - no doubt made by Suga himself. “I guess I'm his plus one too.” </p><p>They all just talked for a while longer, Yamaguchi wasn’t exactly giving kei any amount of extra attention - and neither was Kei. He spoke to Kuroo, Sakusa and then Daichi before wordlessly sitting beside Kenma on the couch. All these interactions was making Kei exhausted and he was glad that Kenma was feeling the same as him, if the way he slumped against Kei’s shoulder and fell asleep was anything to go by. </p><p>Kageyama wasn’t doing much better either, he seemed enthusiastic at first but Kei could notice the telltale signs of him becoming irritable. </p><p>“Guys, gather round!” Oikawa came out of the kitchen, a tray of drinks balanced in his hands. “I want us to play a game, just like the good ol’ high school days.” </p><p>People started to fill up seats on the couch, Kei nudged Kenma awake - as much as he wanted to let Kenma sleep on him as an excuse for not standing, it was rude to not acknowledge your host. </p><p>Bokuto’s voice came from somewhere near him. “We could play volleyball!” </p><p>“Literally half of us are setters Bo.” Kuroo. </p><p>There was a noise of disapproval coming from Bokuto and then Kei saw him sitting on the carpet next to Atsumu and Akaashi. Kuroo opted to sit on the other side of Kenma, and Kageyama on the floor beside Kei’s feet. Slowly, everyone came back from their various positions in the living room to the sitting area and drinks were being passed around. </p><p>Oikawa cleared his throat. “I was thinking we could play never have I ever, but spicier of course.” </p><p>Kei scoffed before he could stop himself, leaning back against the couch and looking at Oikawa - he was sat right beside Yamaguchi. “What are we, middle schoolers?’ </p><p>“I did day that it was going to be something we played back in highschool, didn’t I?” Oikawa shot back, giving Kei one of his megawatt smiles. </p><p>“Anyways.” Oikawa continued, “The rules are pretty standard, we’re going to go around saying things that we’ve never done, and people who have done it need to take a drink from their cups, any questions?” </p><p>When there were more whispers and mutters of ‘no’ and ‘yeah we get it’, Oikawa decided to start the game - everyone still needed to get more drunk to have this game in front of other people, but pretty much everyone was open to getting drunk. </p><p>So was Kei, he had his exams coming soon - but he had no classes tomorrow and being drunk didn’t exactly sound like a bad idea. </p><p>“I’ll start,” Oikawa offered. “Never have a ever slipped in a public bathroom.” </p><p>Kei looked around the room, Kageyama and Semi were the only ones drank from their glasses.  Yamaguchi looked like he was contemplating taking a sip but ended up putting his glass back down on the table - Kei took a moment to appreciate how nice his hair looked in that tiny ponytail. </p><p>“Never have I ever peeked at a teammate while changing.” Bokuto grinned. </p><p>Everyone took a sip. </p><p>“Oho Tsukishima chan, who have you been staring at while changing?” Oikawa asked before they could carry on with the game - Kei was sure that Oikawa had been targeting him with these personal questions ever since this party started, at first Kei thought that it was just Oikawa being Oikawa but by now it was getting a bit ridiculous. </p><p>Kei raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know that sharing was a part of this game Oikawa san.” </p><p>“Anyways.” Yamaguchi butt in before Oikawa could say something back, “Let’s go back to playing the game - Akaashi you’re next.” </p><p>They had multiple more rounds, stalking an ex online, dating someone to make another person jealous, flirted with a teacher, had a threesome. Then it was Yamaguchi’s turn. </p><p>“Never have I ever been with someone from an opposite school team.” That was one of the tamer questions - but that made Kei stop and think for a moment. He had gone a few dates with Suna Rintarou from a training camp with Inarizaki in college but that wasn’t when they were on opposite teams, did that still count for taking a drink?</p><p>It still counted, he guessed. </p><p>He glanced around the room. Kuroo and Bokuto drunk from their glasses - he remembered the night when they made out as a dare in the summer vacation of his second year of high school, Kei and Yamaguchi had ended up at that party too, but he didn’t really enjoy remembering that night. </p><p>Yamaguchi took a sip from his drink - that was probably for Terushima, Sakusa and Atsumu both took a sip - and Kei took one too, everyone was drinking so surely no one would single handedly call him out. </p><p>“Tsukishima kun, I wasn’t aware that you were such a player.” Oikawa grinned - Kei wondered how Yamaguchi could be friends with this guy, the past hour felt like Oikawa was staring right into his soul - and for some reason Kuroo had been getting the exact same treatment from him, every time he spoke with Kei - Oikawa would try to join in on their conversation or glare at him from across the room. </p><p>When Kei didn't reply, Oikawa turned to Kuroo. “What about you Kuroo san, you seem like quite the player.” </p><p>“Actually I’ve only just been with three people like that.” Kuroo laughed, sounding a little nervous. “You know, I prefer to keep to myself most of the times.” </p><p>Oikawa nodded, but Kei could still feel his eyes on him throughout the game. </p><p>He wondered if this had anything to do with Yamaguchi. Or maybe it was Oikawa just trying to rile him up for no reason. Whatever the case was, there was only a few hours left before Kei and Kageyama could go home without it being too awkward. </p><p>He could make it that long.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So this update was a little late because I am currently panicking over a test I need to give in an hour :) </p><p>That being said, this was one of my messier chapters (I suck at writing larger scenes with multiple people) but I hope everyone gets the gist of this, it's basically Yams and Oiks trying to find out if Kuroo and Tsukki hooked up but they really cant tell lmao, this is supposed to be a pretty lighthearted chapter of everyone and I made Tsukki NOT have a breakdown because he's grown from that and that happening would make it seem like a full circle to the first party he went to, that all being said I hope you guys liked this more than I did ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Pastries and Pick me ups</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yamaguchi didn’t say anything in response to Kei, just leaning his head against his shoulder. “You look tired…if you can’t stop thinking why don’t you go to sleep earlier today?” </p><p>Kei considered that. “Remember how we used to study back in highschool.” </p><p>“Of course I do.” Yamaguchi snorted. “You would start studying days before the test and then spend all the leftover time yelling at Kageyama and Hinata.” </p><p>“They probably deserved it.” </p><p>Yamaguchi hummed. “Probably.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Kei had known that the day of Oikawa’s party would be the last day he’d spend away from his textbooks, he’d probably beg Kageyama to take him someplace better for the sake of his own mental health. </p><p>For the past week, the only times he went out of his apartment was when he needed to go to college to actually attempt the exams or when he was out of groceries. His house was a mess and probably stuffier than should be healthy, but Kei could start taking care of all that when the exams ended, and they would - after four more days of this torture. </p><p>Kei stretched his legs and looked at the notebooks spread out around him - two textbooks, one laptop, Three pamphlets and one notebook. </p><p>His mother would be proud of him if it weren’t for the empty cups of cold brew he had hidden under his table - his mother had always been against coffee, and while Kei preferred things that were sweeter, coffee was the one thing that he took without sugar. </p><p>He had one of his history exams tomorrow and although it was only 7 pm, Kei was panicking. He had been studying since yesterday day, but had he done enough? What if he forgot the names of the historians while sitting in the exam hall? What if he forgot any important dates? What if a question from the one odd area he didn’t pay too much attention too came up in the exam? This was one of his good subjects, what if he disappointed his teachers? What if this lowered his average grade?  </p><p>His eyes felt heavy, and Kei could feel the uncomfortable itch start in the back of his head, he’d been through the material multiple times, but synthesising and evaluating this work was something he always struggled with - something that he could only test out when writing out an answer. </p><p>Oh god, what if he knows the answer but runs out of time? </p><p>The buzz of his phone pulled him out of his thoughts - didn’t he turn that off? </p><p>It was Yamaguchi. </p><p>“Hello, Yams?” He answered and pressed the phone against his ear. He should probably replace the cracked screen too, but that would be wasting his time right now. </p><p>The voice on the other side seemed notably happier than his own. </p><p>“Tsukki! I was wanting to talk to you for a bit - I won’t take up too much time - I swear, but I don’t think you’re answering your doorbell, are you out?” </p><p>Oh. How did he manage to miss the doorbell? </p><p>He could let Yamaguchi in, that’s what a sensible person would do. But then that would disrupt his flow of studying, and then he’d have to push himself to get back into his zone. On the other hand, if he ignored Yamaguchi there was no way he wouldn’t figure that out - considering how thin their walls were. He could try lying to him and -</p><p>“Tsukki?” </p><p>Kei coughed. “Oh. Uh, yeah. I’m opening the door - must’ve missed it.” </p><p>Yamaguchi was grinning at Kei from the other side of the door, pastry bag in hand and his book bag in the other one. “I know you’re busy Tsukki, but I really wanted to thank you.”</p><p>“Thank me?” Why would Yamaguchi thank him. </p><p>“Why would you thank me?” <br/>He moved aside and let Yamaguchi inside, surely there was something big here that he was forgetting. Did he do something on the night before the party, maybe before that? No, Kei was sure that all he’d been doing for the past week was studying for exams. Right? What if he wasn’t studying enough - that would explain how he apparently had enough time to help Yamaguchi with whatever it was. </p><p>“Tsukki?” Kei looked at Yamaguchi - he was sitting on the couch now, when did he get there? “You were staring out the window, did you hear me?” </p><p>“I uh…” Thinking up a lie was taking too much of his energy. “No.” </p><p>Yamaguchi sighed, he didn’t seem upset though. “I was just saying thanks, remember when you helped me write my job applications?” When Kei nodded, Yamaguchi continued. “Well, I got accepted as a trainee as a customer care person at an electronics place p - I know it’s not the best job, but its something until I graduate college y’know?” </p><p>When kei seemed sufficiently tuned into the conversation, Yamaguchi took his time to look around the apartment - a small frown on his face. </p><p>“You’ve had your exams going on for how many days now?” </p><p>Kei sat down on the carpet, moving aside some of his empty mugs. “One week…I’ve got a few more days left.” </p><p>Yamaguchi had probably caught onto what was going through Kei’s head by now - he had already been called out for not paying attention twice, and it wasn’t like he had changed too much from back in high school. </p><p>“How long have you been studying?” </p><p>“I don’t know.” </p><p>“And how many times have you went over the material?” </p><p>“Twice…I think?” </p><p>Kei knew these questions, they sounded painfully similar to the ones his mom would ask him when Kei would come down to dinner looking like he just woke up from the dead, muttering the names of important leaders under his breath. </p><p>“You don’t think that overworking yourself will just make your test go worse?” </p><p>Kei shook his head. “I’ve still got a portion that I need to work on, and I don’t think I have enough practice to actually get a good enough grade.” </p><p>“But you look tired.” Yamaguchi was standing up now, picking up the cups and stray plates. “Even if you complete the syllabus, you’ll be too tired to pay attention to the test.” </p><p>He did have a point there. </p><p>But what about the guilt he’d feel, knowing that he could have worked harder. </p><p>Yamaguchi appeared from the kitchen with two small plates. Kei tried his best to focus his mind on one single thing. </p><p>“Do you want to choose which flavour you want, they didn’t have strawberry.” </p><p>Kei looked at the small pastries. “Vanilla please.” He pressed his palms against the floor - something to hopefully ground him. </p><p>He watched as Yamaguchi put out the pastries in plates and sat in front of Kei, sliding the vanilla piece across the floor to Kei. “Do you wanna…wanna tell me why you’re so nervous?” </p><p>Kei shrugged. There wasn’t really much to say. </p><p>“It’s not really that interesting really.” Kei took a bite of his cake. “I just feel really guilty when I’m not really studying, you know? Instead of wasting my time doing things that aren’t studying, shouldn’t I really be studying?” </p><p>“You study plenty.” </p><p>Kei shook his head. “What if its not enough?” </p><p>“I can’t really tell you anything about all that.” Yamaguchi tried balancing his plate on his knees. “But I think you need to stop thinking about it too much, what if you stress yourself out to much to the point where you might just forget what all you've actually stu-“ </p><p>“It’s not that easy Yamaguchi.” Kei frowned. </p><p>“I know it probably gets annoying looking at me stress out so much before every single test,” He offered Yamaguchi a piece of his cake. “But…but it’s annoying to me too, and as much as I want to stop overthinking about this test, but I just can’t do that?” </p><p>Yamaguchi didn’t say anything in response to Kei, just leaning his head against his shoulder. “You look tired…if you can’t stop thinking why don’t you go to sleep earlier today?” </p><p>Kei considered that. “Remember how we used to study back in highschool.” </p><p>“Of course I do.” Yamaguchi snorted. “You would start studying days before the test and then spend all the leftover time yelling at Kageyama and Hinata.” </p><p>“They probably deserved it.” </p><p>Yamaguchi hummed. “Probably.”</p><p>Kei played around with his piece of cake. “We can celebrate properly once my exams are over, I’m sure this isn’t how you wanted to celebrate getting a job.” </p><p>“That sounds nice, you could come over and we’ll watch some movies.” Yamaguchi’s mood seemed to be getting better now, that put Kei more at ease in some weird way. The night of Oikawa’s party wasn’t exactly the best, and whenever he’s talk to Yamaguchi he ended up bringing up past relationships which in turn led to Kei not exactly talking to him all that much last week. </p><p>It was nice to know that Yamaguchi wasn’t holding that against him. </p><p>“Mhm, I’ll even pick up some food on the way.” </p><p>“We can even have a sleepover in the living room Tsukki.” Yamaguchi grinned. Kei let himself focus on what all his friend was saying right now. He could made do with a quick revision session tommorow morning, but right now relaxing a bit didn’t seem too bad. </p><p>“Tell me more about your new job, will you?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I just realised that all my chapter titles include food items and I've left beta reading because I have 0 attention span :D </p><p>Okay now about the chapter: this is kinda a filler - self projection chapter. Tsukishima in this chapter is basically me before any exam because I genuinely feel guilty for doing anything that isn't study related to the point where I'll stop caring for myself and completely mess up my exam because of that. This chapter is going to be the last filler or calm one for now, because Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are up for an emotional rollercoaster very soon. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please remember to stay safe!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Beers and Bruised Lips</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He wanted to tell Tsukki how he felt. </p><p>Instead, he asked “Wanna watch the second part?” </p><p>“Saw it last year.” Tsukki whispered into his hair. </p><p>Tadashi decided to play Mamma Mia 2 anyways. Tsukki wouldn’t mine - he had seen Mamma Mia at least three times and he didn’t complain one bit when they rewatched it just now. </p><p>“Tsukki?” The laptop was fully on Tsukki’s lap instead of on the table at this point, and Tadashi was comfortably curled into his side. </p><p>Tsukki hummed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tsukki’s exam was probably over, which meant he’d be at Tadashi’s place in just a little bit. </p><p>Tadashi was sure that he made sure everything was set up at least 3 times, but he just wanted things to be perfect for when Tsukki was over. He deserved to relax after the stressful exam cycles, and Tadashi deserved to celebrate his new job properly. </p><p>Tsukki had insisted on being the one to bring snacks, but Tadashi made sure that everything else was perfectly set up for them. The pillows on the couch were properly fluffed, and he had blankets out in case it got cold. There was cheap beer - the best kind - in the fridge, and he had some old dvd’s out. Sure, they could watch something on one of their laptop’s but he wanted to have options just in case. </p><p>That’s why he bought a deck of cards with him too. </p><p>Now all he needed was Tsukki to show up. Tadashi had also decided that he’d ask Tsukki about Kuroo today, hopefully when they were a few drinks in. That game at Oikawa’s house proved to be no help, since neither him nor Kuroo gave straight answers. </p><p>And he wasn’t going to get in between them. If he was dating Kuroo, Tadashi would simply wallow for a few days and then cherish Tsukki’s friendship. </p><p>When Tadashi opened the door for Tsukki half an hour after that, he was surprised at how put together he looked despite coming back from the exam hall itself. He looked better than the last time they met - which wasn’t exactly saying much, but what mattered was that he looked nice. </p><p>He was in his usual getup, which was just another sweater - how exactly did he wear sweaters in summer - and his beige pants. His hair was messy and he looked like a tired professor. </p><p>A very attractive tired professor. </p><p>“I have snacks.” He shook the two bags lightly, one of them would be from the bakery and another from the convenience store. They had decided against a fancy restaurant since filling themselves with cheap junk food was always the more appealing option. </p><p>Tadashi watched as he took off his shoes and came inside. “You can put them on the counter, I’ve got everything set up.” </p><p>“How did your test go?” He asked when Tsukki put the bags down and finally sat. </p><p>Tsukki shrugged. “I’m just glad it’s over - don’t want to do all that again.” </p><p>“So…you wanna choose the movie?” </p><p>“You can choose.” Tsukki pulled his feet up. “This is supposed to be for your job anyways, I’ll get cold drinks and the snacks ready while you decided, how does that sound?” </p><p>Tadashi nodded, there actually this knew k-drama he wanted to start watching, but then again - a part of him also wanted to watch ‘Mamma Mia’ once again. </p><p>He decided on Mamma Mia, it wouldn’t take up all of his attention since he had already seen it and didn’t have topics too dark like the k-drama had. Starting up his laptop, he waited for Tsukki to come back with the snacks. </p><p>“I bought some store ramen too.” Tsukki explained while he put the snacks on the coffee table, taking a seat next close to him, that was a good sign, wasn't it? “But I’ll just make that when we’re in the mood or it’ll go cold.” </p><p>Tadashi nodded, setting the laptop on his of the coffee table - next to the snacks. </p><p>Tsukki looked at him like he had grown two heads. </p><p>“What are you doing?” He threw the blanket onto Tadashi’s lap, which probably meant that he wanted him to open up. “If we’re having a movie night, we’re doing it properly - now wear the blanket and leave some of it for me while you’re at it.” </p><p>Tadashi nodded, and wordlessly started to open the blanket. Did this mean that Tsukki wanted to cuddle? It could, but Tsukki was also someone who was cold pretty easily. </p><p>It was also nearing summer. And Tsukki had his sweater on him. </p><p>He came to the conclusion that Tsukki was just being practical, Tsukki was always being practical - so it wasn’t too much of a stretch really. </p><p>“Oh - by the way, we’re going to Miyagi next weekend.” Tsukki nonchalantly mentioned as he positioned the snacks and beers in arms reach. </p><p>Tadashi stopped. “Huh?” </p><p>“My mom was asking me to come over and she wanted to see you too - something about not being able to see you for years.” He sat down next to Tadashi, and he felt his heart beat a little fast when Tsukki’s thigh pressed against his - had he always felt like this with Tsukki? </p><p>Tadashi nodded, he didn’t have work on the weekends and he could complete any of his college work at night or on the way. Besides, he kinda missed Tsukki’s mum. </p><p>Suddenly, he found himself giggling. </p><p>“Yama?” Tsukki looked at him with his head tilted, on finger above the ‘press’ button on his laptop. </p><p>Tadashi shook his head, “I just remembered that time when Yachi had this weird crush on your mom, that was the funniest ti-“ </p><p>“Something I’d rather not remember.” Tsukki completed off for him, but the face of disgust me made was just enough to make Tadashi double up with laughter once again. </p><p>“Jesus christ Tadashi.” Tsukki mumbled, effectively shutting him up. Tadashi? When did that happen? “If you’re going to start acting like you’re drunk from the get go, at least pass me a beer, will you?” </p><p>Tadashi - still a bit shaken by being called by his given name - handed Tsukki a can and took one for himself. He took a packet of the store brought fries for himself too, they’d become the perfect kind of soggy if he kept them in the open. </p><p>The movie began and Tadashi felt himself leaning against Tsukki’s shoulder like it was the most normal thing in the world - and when he didn’t move away, he let him believe that Tsukki was enjoying the contact too. </p><p>They watched the first movie in a comfortable silence, casually sitting against each other and passing drinks and snacks. He didn’t know how many drinks he had, but by the time the end credits rolled out - all he know that he wasn’t paying attention to Mamma Mia - all he was processing was Tsukki’s jokes and remarks about the movie. </p><p>Was he always lightweight? </p><p>Or maybe he was just drinking a lot today. </p><p>Whatever the case was, Tsukki didn’t seem to be doing a lot much better than he was in terms of being sober. He could tell by the way he was laughing and making terrible jokes at the screen - or by the way he was leaning into Tadashi in a way which was more than friendly - he was definable drunk. </p><p>“I still can’t believe that she didn’t just get a goddamn DNA test.” Tsukki mumbled once the screen went black, pulling Tadashi closer to him and keeping his arm wrapped around him. </p><p>He wanted to tell Tsukki how he felt. </p><p>Instead, he asked “Wanna watch the second part?” </p><p>“Saw it last year.” Tsukki whispered into his hair. </p><p>Tadashi decided to play Mamma Mia 2 anyways. Tsukki wouldn’t mine - he had seen Mamma Mia at least three times and he didn’t complain one bit when they rewatched it just now. </p><p>“Tsukki?” The laptop was fully on Tsukki’s lap instead of on the table at this point, and Tadashi was comfortably curled into his side. </p><p>Tsukki hummed. </p><p>“Are you seeing anyone? Kuroo?” Tadashi asked, eyes heavy and mind clouded. He wasn’t aware of too much, there than the fact that he was warm and fuzzy and content. </p><p>There was a pause from Tsukki before he heard a small ‘no’ and what felt like the shake of his head. </p><p>That was nice. </p><p>Tsukki wasn’t seeing anyone. </p><p>With a smile on his face, Tadashi kept looking on at the American actress on the screen. He felt a little stupid now, if Tsukki was so easily telling him that he wasn’t with Kuroo - he could’ve saved Oikawa and himself the trouble of throwing a whole party and still not getting an answer.Why couldn’t he just make these things easier for himself? </p><p>Turning his head to the side, Tadashi decided that staring at Tsukki’s side profile would make as a much more interesting activity than watching the movie - he was already blaming the alcohol in his system and he hadn’t even done anything to make a fool of himself just yet. </p><p>Tsukki looked beautiful like this. The blue light from the laptop being the only thing that lit up his face didn’t make a difference, and being so close to Tsukki just made Tadashi remember once again why Tsukki was so popular amongst the girls back in highschool. </p><p>His skin was pale - for some reason tsukki never tanned beneath the sun, but Tadashi knew how soft his cheeks would be, cold at first, but soft and smooth to the touch. The light blue light reflecting off his face made him look like some kind of god - Tadashi wouldn’t be surprised if he actually was a greek god, and had come down to earth just to mess around with Tadashi’s head. <br/>Sluggishly, Tadashi nudged the empty bottle of beer out of Kei’s hand, when it hit the floor, he finally got the man’s attention. </p><p>Great. </p><p>“Tsukki?” </p><p>It came out as a whisper, Tadashi leaning into his friend and trying to crawl into his lap. Why was he so drunk? Why couldn’t he just sit on Tsukki’s lap - it looked more comfortable than his trashy couch anyways, didn’t it? Why was the laptop on Tsukki’s lap and not Tadashi? </p><p>“Tsukki?” He whined again, and Tsukki must’ve gotten the message - because he wrapped his arms around Tadashi’s waist and pulled him onto his lap. The laptop was closed shut and shoved to the other side of the couch, the movie was forgotten and honestly Tadashi couldn’t care less. He missed Tsukki so much, and now that he was holding him, Tadashi could cry. </p><p>He realised that he was crying when Tsukki cupped his cheeks, wiping at the wetness near his eyes and pulling his body closer to him. Tsukki was always so sweet with him, even now when both of them were drunk on cheap beer - he was the one pulling him closer and wiping his tears. </p><p>“Tsukki?” Tadashi pushed away from his chest so he could look up at him. Why wasn't he saying anything? Was he just drunk or was he angry with Tadashi? </p><p>Instead, his hands wrapped around Tadashi protectively, pulling him closer again and kissing him. </p><p>Oh god, he was kissing him. </p><p>Tadashi felt like he was in some sort of sensory overload. Suddenly, all his senses were heightened - he could feel Tsukki’s long fingers on the skin of his waist, his eyelashes ticking Tadashi’s cheek, his the way he was taller than Tsukki because he was sitting on his lap. Most importantly, his lips. </p><p>His lips were soft and warm and tasted like beer and made Tadashi feel butterflies in his stomach. The kiss was quick and soft - but it was firm. Tsukki may be drunk, but this was giving Tadashi a chance to back out of this if he wanted to. </p><p>Tadashi wouldn't trade this for the world. </p><p>His hand made its way to the nape of Tsukki’s neck and pulled him even closer, pulling him into a second kiss - lips fluttering but still more confident. He could feel himself smile into the kiss before pulling away again for a breath of air, before latching onto Tsukki’s lips again - all his emotions from the years they’d been apart pouring into the kisses. </p><p>This felt safe, it felt soft and fuzzy. Tadashi wasn’t sure if it was the kiss it was the alcohol, but Tsukki’s touch was all he could focus on. </p><p>Until Tsukki pushed him away. </p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>His hair looked mused up - that was Tadashi’s fault - and his eyes were wide. That was also probably his fault. His mind was still muddy but he could tell that something was wrong? </p><p>What was it though? </p><p>“Fuck,” Tsukki said again, this time pushing Tadashi back onto the couch and stumbling onto his feet at the same time. That clearly wasn’t a good idea in their drunken state, because Tadashi was on the carpet and Tsukki was moving above him. </p><p>“Tsukki, Tsukki what’s w-“ </p><p>“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” The taller boy seemed to be talking to himself, eyes frantically scanning the room until they came to a stop at his shoes. “Fuck - I didn’t mean for that to happen, oh my god. I need to go, I really should go. I’m really sorry, it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.” </p><p>Tsukki was stuffing his shoe into the second shoe now, and all Tadashi could do was stare. Had he done something wrong? Tsukki seemed to be enjoying himself, didn’t he? What did he mean this wasn’t supposed to happen? Tadashi had so many questions - he wanted to pull Tsukki back to him and reassure himself - that no, he hadn’t just ruined their friendship the second time. </p><p>Instead, Tadashi watched as the door slammed shut and Tsukki left him all alone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi. <br/>I have nothing to defend myself with after that. <br/>So, I've experienced how awkward kiss scenes are, that was fun while it lasted ig. Obviously, I really look forward to hearing what everyone things about this chapter but more importantly I'd like to make a small announcement. <br/>I usually post on Sunday evenings, but as exam season is coming closer, I have a lot of submissions and tests to give so posting will become a little irregular for at least a month. I definitely will NOT be abandoning this story but I might be random with how I post, I hope you all understand. <br/>Please stay safe &lt;3</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. French Fries and Revelations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Yams?” </p><p>“Yama, you there?” </p><p>“Yamaguchi Tadashi.” </p><p>Tadashi blinked. “Huh?” </p><p>“Someone knocked at your door.” Yachi said with a raised eyebrow. He knew that both of them were thinking along the same lines. </p><p>Tsukki.</p>
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    <p>When it came to flight or fight, Tsukki was more of a flight person. </p><p>That was common knowledge to Tadashi, despite how put together and confident Tsukki seemed to be seen as, when a problem involved him - Tsukki’s first reaction would be to distance himself from the entire situation. He always chose flight. </p><p>But what exactly was Tsukki thing to ‘fly’ away from right now. </p><p>Tadashi himself? The kiss? Kissing Tadashi? Had he said something that night that he couldn’t remember now that he was sober? Was Tsukki going to go back to ignoring Tadashi? Did he just ruin their entire friendship just because Tsukki looked pretty? </p><p>The only question he could answer for sure was the last one - yes, Tadashi had ruined their friendship because he though Tsukki looked nice - not nice, Tadashi thought idly. Tsukki was ethereal. He wasn't supposed to be kissed, he was supposed to be appreciated from afar like statues of greek gods, like a sculpture in a museum, like a- </p><p>“Yamaguchi, you’re full of shit.” </p><p>Tadashi scowled, sending a sharp glare at Yachi, who had made herself quite at home and was eating ramen on the couch. </p><p>The ramen that Tsukki had got for their hangout a few days ago. </p><p>“You’re supposed to be nice, stop telling me I’m full of shit.” Tadashi frowned at her, Yachi only shrugged. Yachi hadn’t known about Tsukki and Tadashi’s entire history but just a whole five minutes into the house and Tadashi began to spill. </p><p>And now, two hours later, what had started off as Yachi stopping by to drop of this book Tadashi had wanted became Yachi attempting to give Tadashi romantic advice. </p><p>“Yachi?” </p><p>Yachi hummed. “Yes?” </p><p>“Did I really just say all that out loud?” </p><p>Tadashi heard a giggle from the couch before Yachi tried to compose herself. “You did - you were talking about Tsukishima kun and greek gods with such a faraway look in your eyes. It was cute, also kinda sad.” </p><p>Tadashi’s pout only got deeper. “Well, that’s all that’s left of us now. I’ve lost my friend privileges so looking at him from afar is probably all I have left.” </p><p>“Tadashi, come here.” Oh god. She sounded dead serious now. </p><p>Tadashi sat quietly on the couch next to Yachi, nervously waiting for whatever she was going to say to him now. </p><p>“From everything you told me about your relationship, your first falling out with him was because of a really bad understanding wasn’t it? And it got worse when neither of you acknowledged it.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Tadashi sighed. “That’s more or less what had happened.” </p><p>“Now that’s happening again. Don’t you think you should talk to him?” So that’s where Yachi was getting at. </p><p>Tadashi sighed, resting his head on the back of the couch. “I don’t want to sound like an asshole…but I’m always the one who’s chasing after him y’know?” He let out a deep breath, there was no gong back now. He would have to tell Yachi about what made him most insecure now that he’d started this conversation. </p><p>“Ever since elementary school, I’ve always been the one running after him. Even now, I was the one who reached out to it.” Tadashi sighed. “And I get that it was me who was supposed to apologise to him and all - and I did- but sometimes I feel like he just doesn’t care enough about me to be the one coming to me first.” </p><p>Yachi didn’t say anything, Tadashi only sighed. “It’s been two days Each, don’t you think he would’ve come out of his apartment by now?” </p><p>“You can’t say that he doesn’t care y’know.” Yachi shrugged. “People show love in different ways, and from what I know, Tsukishima cares about you quite a lot.” </p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p>Yachi thought for a second before putting her bowl of ramen on the table. “Instead of thinking about Tsukishima being distant how does he show his love for you? We’re learning about human relations in class and everyone shows their way of love in a different way.” Yachi paused to make sure Tadashi was still listening, the boy in question just nodded. </p><p>“I’m gonna say this based on what you’ve told me about Tsukishima, but doesn’t he bake for you?” </p><p>Tadashi nodded. “He even buys me food sometimes - that ramen was from him.” </p><p>Yachi glanced at her half eaten bowl for a second before continuing. “And you know how Tsukki has this entire thing against doing spontaneous things and having anything overlap with his schedule?” </p><p>“Wasn’t he getting better at that?” Tadashi asked, from the times that they spent together, it surely didn't feel like Tsukki was anxious about his plans.” </p><p>“That’s the point Yamaguchi!” Yachi was standing now, pacing around his living room and getting riled up. “He’s not like that with us, Tsukishima still gets all anxious when we change plans - he does this with Kageyama too, and they’re pretty close.” </p><p>Wait? </p><p>All this time that Tadashi was under the impression that Tsukki was just growing and learning to cope with his troubles, he was in fact bending over backwards just for Tadashi’s sake. </p><p>“You’re the exception Yamaguchi.” </p><p>Tadashi thought about their grocery trip. Or their trip to the arcade, they had decided to go there just a day before actually going there but that was still a pretty short timeline taking Tsukki into consideration. All the times Tadashi would show up at Tsukki’s house with no clear goal and just stay there for hours studying with must’ve been so nerve wracking for his best friend, how did he never realise all that? </p><p>Yachi was saying something about love languages, about how Tadashi’s love language was part quality time and physical touch while Tsukki’s love language seemed to be acts of service. That made sense to Tadashi, even though eh was only half listening now - and half thinking about how he was going to approach Tsukki right when Yachi would be taking her leave. </p><p>“Yams?” </p><p>“Yama, you there?” </p><p>“Yamaguchi Tadashi.” </p><p>Tadashi blinked. “Huh?” </p><p>“Someone knocked at your door.” Yachi said with a raised eyebrow. He knew that both of them were thinking along the same lines. </p><p>Tsukki. </p><p>If it was Tsukki at the door, Yachi would probably never let Tadashi live this moment down. </p><p>Thankfully - or maybe not - for him, all that was there when Tadashi opened the door was a single Tupperware box with a neat little post it note on it. </p><p>Bending up, he brought the note close, reading the messy scrawl. </p><p>‘made you fries. was hoping we could talk before the trip,,if you still want to come’ </p><p>“Yach!” Tadashi yelled - his mind was still reeling. Did Tsukki and Yachi somehow manage to orchestrate a perfectly timed explanation? That probably wasn’t what was going on, but with everything Yachi said to him and Tsukki dropping off a box of his favourite snack at his doorstep, this all seemed like a faraway coincidence. </p><p>“Who was it?” Yachi asked, walking towards the door. </p><p>Tadashi shook his head. He needed to talk to Tsukki. “I’m gonna go talk to Tsukki, here take some fries.” He explained thrusting the box right into chi’s arms, not before ripping off the post it note and carrying it with him. </p><p>The advantage of living right beside Tsukki was that he managed to show up in front of his door in a matter of seconds. The disadvantage of living right beside Tsukki was that when the door opened and Tsukki was in front of him, Tadashi came to the realisation that he didn’t exactly take the time to think about what he wanted to say to him. </p><p>“Do…do you want to come in?” Tsukki broke the awkward silence and Tadashi gratefully took him up on that. He didn’t need any neighbours peeking in on their conversation. </p><p>Or even yachi for that matter. </p><p>Tadashi took a quick moment to look at Tsukki. He had light dark circles under his eyes - which honestly wasn’t a surprise considering how much he liked to read in bad lighting, and his glasses were perched on top of his head. He was still in his pyjamas but Tadashi could make out flour stains on them - which meant that Tsukki had made those frenchfries only recently. </p><p>“I thought you’d come in a little later.” Tsukki chuckled, rubbling the back of his neck and looking anywhere but at Tadashi. “But I guess talking now is just as good.” </p><p>There was a moment of silence, before both of them decided to speak up at the same time. </p><p>“I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry.” </p><p>“I didn’t mean for it to happen that way.” </p><p>Tadashi blinked. What did Tsukki mean to say when he said that he didn’t want it to happen ‘that’ way?</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm pretty sure that I mentioned this earlier, but this 'misunderstanding' wasn't meant to drag out for too long otherwise we'd be back in square one lmao. I also believe that if Yamaguchi went to yachi for initial advice instead of Oikawa Tsukkiyama would be together in less than 4 chapters. </p><p>Anyways, I won't bore all of you with my exam stress because trust me, that's almost always a constant in my life. On a different note, I hope you guys enjoyed how this chapter played out, please stay safe and remember to take care of yourselves !!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Fruit Punch and Family time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“I still don’t get why you’re only going home for the weekend Tsukki.” Yamaguchi yawned against his shirt, slowly waking up. “If I were you…I’d skip school and spend a week at home.” </p><p>Kei rolled his eyes, watching as Yamguchi rubbed the drool off his face. “I guess I’m glad that I’m not you then.” </p><p>Yamaguchi responded with a jab to Kei’s ribs. </p><p>“Anyways, why don’t you tell me what you’ve got planned for our trip."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kei thought back on their conversation yesterday. It hadn’t gone negatively, not by any means. </p><p>He had told Yamaguchi that he panicked and ran, he didn't want his first kiss with Yamaguchi after all these years to be after drinking too much - he wanted it to be special and meaningful. And kei knew that if he stayed there with Yamaguchi for a second longer, he would end up right where he had years ago - they would go back to the first time they had crossed that line back in middle school. </p><p>Yamaguchi said that he understood, but he would really appreciate of Kei had gave him any kind of sign that he hadn’t fucked up the morning after at least. </p><p>Fast forward to hours later, Yamaguchi was curled into kei’s side. Snoring softly as their trayn neared Miyagi. Sure, he could take his car - but he was still so exhausted from his exams - and it’s not like train tickets were too expensive. </p><p>“I still don’t get why you’re only going home for the weekend Tsukki.” Yamaguchi yawned against his shirt, slowly waking up. “If I were you…I’d skip school and spend a week at home.” </p><p>Kei rolled his eyes, watching as Yamguchi rubbed the drool off his face. “I guess I’m glad that I’m not you then.” </p><p>Yamaguchi responded with a jab to Kei’s ribs. </p><p>“Anyways, why don’t you tell me what you’ve got planned for our trip.” </p><p>“Well obviously - you’re going to be staying at my place.” He started off. After Yamaguchi’s grandmother had passed, his parents had decided to permanently move into his family home to keep his grandfather company - which meant that Yamaguchi’s house in Miyagi was probably already sold off to another family. “And I guess today we’ll just spend time at home, with ma and Aki.” </p><p>“Aki-ni’s gonna be there too?” Yamaguchi’s eyes lit up. </p><p>Kei nodded. “The three of us are all in different parts of Japan - so I guess co ordinating when we meet becomes nice.” He paused. “So today we all are gonna catch up - you as well, ma hasn’t seen you in years and she probably has a lot to say about your…your new look.” </p><p>Yamaguchi beamed at that, Kei’s mom probably preferred Yamaguchi to her own children at this point - Kei was sure that Yamaguchi should show up to his house after murdering him and his mom would still welcome with open arms and soup. </p><p>He tried not to think about it that much. </p><p>“Stop grinning Yamaguchi.” Kei mumbled, to which Yamaguchi laughed out a carefree ‘sorry Tsukki’. </p><p>“Anyways, tomorrow I was thinking we could visit the old gym and maybe some more places, and before I forget - Kageyama asked me to pick up a quilt from his mom’s house or something - I’ll have to ask him.” </p><p>“It’s summer, why would he need a quilt?” </p><p>Kei shrugged. “I don’t really ask him why he does anything.” </p><p>Yamaguchi laughed. Kei smiled. </p><p>“Come on now, we’re almost at the station.” </p><p>Their walk home was full of jabs and pointing out old things that they remembered along the way. Kei pointed to the crack on the road just in front of Hinata’s house - the cause of many accidents while Yamaguchi sticked to talking about places where everyone would meet up after practice - and eventually over the weekend for no particular reason. </p><p>When they reached the Tsukishima household, his mom spent a whole 5 minutes gushing over Tadashi. He’d grown out since the last time they’ve seen each other. Tadashi went from the preppy looking third year with perfectly cut hair and amazing grades to Tadashi who’s smile was brighter and ears contained a significantly more number of piercings. She even commented that Tadashi would look interesting if he bleached the bottom half go his hair - Kei didn’t know what he thought about another change in his best friend, he would probably like him just the same. </p><p>Then, his mother let both boys in the house. </p><p>Akiteru - who was coming by car, got stuck in some traffic, so for the next few hours they both helped his mum around the house. That meant that Kei was helping around the house and Yamaguchi got to sit on the kitchen counter and make conversation with his mom while eating homemade treats. </p><p>It’s not like his mum didn’t fret over Kei - because oh boy, she did. As much as Kei pretended to hate how his mom would keep on asking him to bend down so she could fix his collar, or make a comment on how soft his hair was - he revelled in the attention. </p><p>Living in Tokyo on his own accord was the epitome of freedom, but that didn’t mean that Kei missed being staying with his mom. Maybe when he got a stable job, he’d buy a house for his mother close to his, maybe he’d make it so that she would keep on visiting him or Akiteru - it would have to be tiring taking care of a whole house all by herself, wouldn’t it? </p><p>Terribly lonely too. </p><p>Just when Kei thought that he was getting too emotional about this entire situation, Akiteru entered the house, beaming proudly and rushing towards their mom to give her a hug. </p><p>Despite not being a part of their lives for the past two years, both his mom and Akiteru were good at behaving as if Kei and Yamaguchi had never fought in the first place - his mom asking him to come into the kitchen for ‘taste tests’ and Akiteru telling them both funny stories about work. </p><p>They face-timed Kei’s father over dinner, and even though the three of them could only see his blurry forehead (he insisted that he was holding his phone just right despite Akiteru explaining to him how the mechanics behind video calls work) Kei felt just like he was in high school, inviting Yamaguchi over for their weekly Friday sleepovers and eating dinner with his entire family. </p><p>He felt the same, but things had changed. </p><p>So much. </p><p>For one, Kei was less of an asshole to Akiteru now, and their father had been working oversees for the past three months. Their kitchen seemed smaller - maybe Kei had grown larger. </p><p>His mom’s cooking was still just as delicious, that was one thing Kei was sure about. <br/>“I’m gonna go help clean up.” Kei told Yamaguchi after dinner and a round of deserts were over. They probably would’ve stayed up a little later to talk but everyone was stuffed and tired. “You can go to my room, I’ll be up in a bit.” </p><p>When Yamaguchi left up the stairs, out of earshot, Kei’s mom bumped into his side gently. “Isn’t this nice, you and Tadashi-kun have all up now.” </p><p>Kei grunted in response, moving to the sink so that his mom wouldn’t be able to see the red tinge across his face. His mom just laughed and took her place beside Kei, taking great pride in how embarrassed her son got. </p><p>“How did everything play out Kei?” She asked after a few minutes of washing dishes in silence. </p><p>Kei hummed. She didn't want to know how Kei was doing with his studies, or what plans he had for the future. Kei knew what she was asking. </p><p>“I think I’m glad I grew apart from Yamaguchi.” </p><p>It was the honest answer, “I was able to find myself, ya know? And I grew into myself and made new friends.” He paused for a bit, and his mon knew not to fill in the silence with anything she had to say. Not yet. “When you know someone your entire life - like I knew Yamaguchi, you don’t really know what kind of person you are on your own.” </p><p>“Yamaguchi grew and I grew too.” He passed a clean plate to his mom. “If we were together from high school things would have ended terribly you know? But I’m glad we’re back in our lives now.” </p><p>His mom smiled, that same smile she gave Kei when he brought rocks home from school because they reminded him of his mom, or when he scored exceptionally high in english when he was in his second year of high school. </p><p>“Aki’s waiting for us, do you think you can leave Tadashi waiting for a little more?” </p><p>Kei shrugged. “Honestly I think he’s probably asleep.” </p><p>He stayed up with his mom and brother for a little more than an hour, talking to them about everything and nothing. When he returned back to his room at the end of the night, Yamaguchi was practically knocked out on his bed, legs sprawled out and a spot of drool on his pillow. </p><p>“Yamaguchi.” Kei whispered, tapping Yamaguchi’s shoulder gently. “shift over a bit will you?” </p><p>Yamaguchi grunted and shuffled to the left side of his bed in his sleep, and when Kei lay down on the bed, he rolled over again and draped himself over Kei. Yamaguchi had always been a fan of cuddling - when there were no people - he would latch onto a pillow. </p><p>Right now, Kei was the closest thing Yamaguchi had to a pillow. </p><p>“Kei.” </p><p>Yamaguchi mumbled in his sleep, furrowing his face in the crook of Kei’s neck. “Hm?” He asked, wondering if Yamaguchi was just rambling in his sleep. It wouldn't be the first time. </p><p>“Kei.” He repeated. “I didn’t mean to steal your feet.” </p><p>Kei snorted. </p><p>He was definitely sleep talking.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HII! I have a lot to write in the notes section I hope I remember everything lmao. <br/>As many of you know, the COVID situation in India is terrifying. There are 2-3 deaths every 10 minutes. Colleges are being converted into hospitals and public parks into cremation grounds. This week itself, there have been 3 deaths in my family and needless to say I'm a time bomb of emotions right now. Our exams start in around 10 days as well, and what I'm getting to here is that I may or may not be taking some time off depending on how I'm feeling. In all honesty I probably won't since writing has become a form of relaxation or escapism over the years but I thought it would be best to let everyone know in advance in case that happened. <br/>I also made a twitter account this morning ( @ENBYTSUKIKAGE ) or https://twitter.com/ENBYTSUKIKAGE if any of you want to talk to me on there. I also KNOW I had something else to say but I can't remember that for the life of me so I guess I'll start with the ACTUAL chapter note now. </p><p>I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and it may seem that I go more in depth with Tsukki's chapters (because I do lol) but that's because I kin him and relate to suck a lot more than I do with Yamaguchi which makes it more fun to explore his character in general! So yeah, here was a cute little reunion chapter for those two, plus thief Yamaguchi (??). Please take care of your mental and physical health in this time, and if you haven't had a glass of water today please do!</p>
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